Would you move 150-200 miles away to be able to afford your dream home?

[bigdecsions]

Hi everyone,
As the title suggests, we live in London (not the best place in London either ) that's where I've always lived and grown up its my comfort zone. All my family and friends are here too. We have 4dc and live in a 3 bed, which we can extend to make a 4 bed. It's on a main road so parking is available on the side roads. By no means is this our dream home, but it is what it is. We've done work to it and made it in to our home which we love. Kids are at a good school too.
2 miles away would be our ideal location but it's far too expensive, anywhere around here is, is have to extend our mortgage and still only get a 3 bed but in a nicer location and most houses only have 1 reception too making it feel smaller as we have 2.

Anyway we have thought about moving further north, we've looked at a few places but all are between 150-200 miles north of us 3-4 hour drive. We are able to afford our dream home in those areas and schools are good too. But I'm so worried about loving as I've always lived here. What if we don't like it after the novelty has worn off? Has anyone loved that far just to be able to afford their dream home? I just can't decide if it's right for us to do, also if we move we definitely won't be able to come back if we don't like it as we'd be priced out. I don't want to keep changing kids schools either. I think the main fear comes from always living here.
Really struggling to decide but can't get the dream house we saw out of my head .
Any suggestions? Sorry this post is so long xx

If you love London, don't leave. Nowhere else comes close. I know several people who have moved (Manchester, Cardiff, Hertfordshire) and they all seem to regret it quite a bit.

I have lived in several places over the years.

I went to University (small town) almost 200 miles away from my home (large city in the North.) Returned home after Uni and started work. Met Dh, due to his job we moved 120 miles South. Stayed there for a bit, got married, had a baby and knew that the house we were in for the local schools was terrible. Lovely house, terrible schools.

Job relocation saw us move another 140 miles back North but still 70 miles from our original city to another big city. We even moved house locally for a secondary school!

I think you have to list what you love about where you are and what you would like. It is easy to not think about the actual specifics of why you like a place. How often do you visit your family and see your friends? We have friends in the South and we tend to travel to them because they are all close together and we can all meet up at one house. in 15 years they have only travelled to us about 5 times.

Dave Gorman said that he moved out of London and friends couldn't believe it but when he asked them the last time they had visited all the things they listed they hadn't been for years.

I have a larger house than I could ever afford even when we did the first move South. I am a SAHM, there are plenty of job opportunities for Dh, transport links are fantastic, we have a very comfortable lifestyle. I know comparison wise my 4 bed detached house costs 1/3 of what our friend's 3 bed semi detached house costs within the M25.

We have the most beautiful countryside, we have museums, theatres, galleries, parks but what we won't have is your family and friends but the further North you go the more friendly people are. We don't avert our eyes on the Tube (I may have caused havoc when my friend and I spoke on the Tube recently, we were unaware of the headphones in, eyes down, pack in like sardines customs of the Tube )

As for the "outsider" bit, I talk to people from all over the country who have moved here, including from London and some from other countries. I was welcomed here too. Because your child is going into year 9, the time to jump is now before year 10. You could always rent your house out and rent wherever you are looking in case it doesn't work out.

We moved away from London for a supposed better work life balance, beautiful Victorian 4 bedroom house. We've just moved back to London as we missed our family and friends too much, and all the free things that are on at the weekends.

We moved north, much better quality of life

I grew up in Manchester and moved after university when I met DH. We live about 200 miles away and it takes 4-5 hours to get to my hometown. We don’t live in London but we’re just over an hour away by train.

I would love to move back. My friends and family are there. The cost of living is cheaper, houses are cheaper. My mum wants to move down here because I’m her only child but realistically she can’t afford it. At some point in the future (a long time hopefully) I have to think about care for my mum and whether I move her when she is vulnerable or don’t visit her as often as I should.

If you sell your London house you could very quickly and very easily be priced out of the market and not be able to return, even if you hate it up north. Have you considered jobs up there? Both DH and I have very niche jobs and we would struggle to get jobs up there. Are there opportunities to grow your career if you want to?

Things you might not have considered:
I travel back to my family about 4 times per year. This involves a lot of prior planning because even without kids, our weekends get really full. We leave after work on a Friday or very early Saturday morning. Saturday and Sunday are non-stop seeing family and friends, with a late drive back on the Sunday. It’s lovely but it’s absolutely exhausting. They don’t tend to realise how exhausting it is because everyone only sees me for a few hours at a time. Family expect you to make the most of bank holiday weekends but everyone else is making the most of bank holiday weekends and you will be stuck in traffic. You’ll need to travel for Christmas or people will have to travel to you. As you moved away, you’ll be expected to travel more.depending on your friends/family, also be prepared for the guilt trip. My friend has been guilt tripping me for the last 9 years and any complaint of my life is met with just come home.

You could really miss London. I miss the hills and the coast so much. I was 40 minutes away from the coast in Manchester and 40 minutes from the Lake District or Peak District. We’ve moved to an area closer to the coast now but I’m nowhere near hills. London is so unique and busy. Manchester and Leeds are nowhere near as busy as London (which I prefer because I find London to be too much). It also rains a lot up there. You might find you really struggle with something as simple as the weather. Even if you don’t, you’ve got 5 other people who might.

While I’ve been down here, I’ve had to do 3 emergency runs up the M6 to say goodbye to family. Inevitably those are the times when traffic is just horrific. It’s horribly stressful having to travel and knowing someone you love is reaching the end of their life.

Whilst I’ve made friends down here, mostly it’s through work. If you have hobbies that have groups it might be different. But it’s much harder to make friends as an adult.

I just don’t think a house is necessarily worth it. And I’ve looked at the houses up there with envy too.

@JetPlanesMeeting that sounds amazing, the things that are available in London is exactly like you say I haven't been to in years, I stay close to my area as there's a shopping centre close by and never go
Into the city as I hate it. I love everything you said about up
North. Surely job opportunities and uni opportunities are not only restricted to London? Like people keep saying, my kids can find jobs anywhere right?
What all the other pps have said that's what I keep thinking. I really wish I could take the leap and move without the fear but I'm not sure .

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to move. If your only reason to stay is because you've always lived then you should move. If he does of the lifestyle up north attracts you then you should seriously look into it. But I wouldn't move away only to get a nicer house.

I did it, left a job, family, friends and went north alone. I loved it. (Then met my husband online so I'm now back down south).

@bigdecsions it must be difficult to consider leaving what you know. My own sister has never moved more than 6 miles from my parent's house.

I have a great life, made some amazing friends not just here but in the other places I have lived too. We talk and face time.

Do a list. We knew we would have to move for a primary school anyway, just didn't think it would be a relocation!

I am in Yorkshire. The main thing is if you do move, try to rent first to get a feel for the area. And remember all the reasons why you left, in fact pin it on a wall in your house.

For people saying their friends hated it how many more stayed and loved it?

After 9 years in London we moved home and it's so good being with family.

But we now have a bigger home and are mortgage free so it was a win/win for us.

Depending on how busy your road is, I'd stay and extend into the loft if possible.

@JetPlanesMeeting I'm the same never moves away from the area I Grew up in n. That itself sometimes makes me think I should move. The only problem with renting is having to move kids schools too much especially as they are older.

I wouldn’t move for a “dream” home if like you I had a perfectly ok one. If you’d said you could only afford a 2 bed in London and all the kids were sharing a room I’d say move but it sounds like you’ll have enough bedrooms there.

I wouldn't dream of moving away from friends, family and the lifestyle I was familiar with for the sake of a house; particularly when I had an adequate house in my preferred area. Bricks and mortar will never make up for people in my opinion.

Do you have to go so far?
I moved out of London about 15 years ago.
But only about 30 miles away.
So it's still really easy to get into London and visit people if I want to.
Why 150-200 miles away?
I say all that but I'm looking at moving 150+ miles for an ever nicer life by the sea.
We shall see what happens.
Only if my dad comes with me which he would love.

But my mum is whole other matter!

We left London. We live in a big apartment with lots of cafes etc on our doorstep (literally). The school we use is amazing (and cheaper than ones in London). We have longer commutes but then again if we had moved to an affordable area of London they would be just as long.

FWIW, Nottingham is a lovely city with plenty going on and some really great areas for kids and families. Easy access to loads of countryside and Derbyshire and has good rail links back to London, as well as Leicester, Manchester, Leeds, Sheffield and Birmingham.

But Nottingham isn’t London, it’s tiny in comparison and it depends if you love London for it’s London-ness.

@hellsbellsmelons where did you move to ?

No way

@QueenOfPain the only thing Is we live in a busy area and as much as I like Nottingham as well as the other areas mentioned they are quieter which will take getting use to. On the plus they are much safer, in my area there very high knife crime at the moment, every weekend there's a stabbing. Now it doesn't affect me as such but I do worry for when my kids are older and want to go out with friends.

Not far off of Junc 5 on M40

Could you plan some weekends away in the cities you’re looking at, with the the intention of framing the whole weekend as “could we imagine ourselves living here?”.

Some of them might feel like a firm no straight away, but others you might really begin to feel there’s something to it, if at the end of it, you’ve decided you couldn’t imagine living in any of them, then stay in London!

@QueenOfPain we did stay the night in those locations but spent it looking at houses and areas so still confused and it's harder with kids. I think we will go again as we've narrowed the areas down in those cities.

@hellsbellsmelons I'll
Look into it. The only reason we've looked so far is because we wanted bigger busier cities so still feel a bit like London

Absolutely. Especially if you say there's high knife crime in your area.
I'm not naive enough to think there isn't KC up north, but it's far less.

Come up here, we're a friendly bunch! I'm from Leeds & have always loved the North (but not Leeds, surprisingly). Nottingham is a beautiful city, as well as York (my home base currently).

As much as we love it here, we think it gets too hot in summer so are considering moving to Scotland when the time comes to buy 😂

@Purplerain16 you're joking right about the summers getting too hot 😂 that's one thing I'd miss living from the south. I know knife crime is everywhere but I'm not even exaggerating by saying every weekend here. Like I say it doesn't affect me as such but I worry for my kids when they are in their teens