Would you move 150-200 miles away to be able to afford your dream home?

[bigdecsions]

Hi everyone,
As the title suggests, we live in London (not the best place in London either ) that's where I've always lived and grown up its my comfort zone. All my family and friends are here too. We have 4dc and live in a 3 bed, which we can extend to make a 4 bed. It's on a main road so parking is available on the side roads. By no means is this our dream home, but it is what it is. We've done work to it and made it in to our home which we love. Kids are at a good school too.
2 miles away would be our ideal location but it's far too expensive, anywhere around here is, is have to extend our mortgage and still only get a 3 bed but in a nicer location and most houses only have 1 reception too making it feel smaller as we have 2.

Anyway we have thought about moving further north, we've looked at a few places but all are between 150-200 miles north of us 3-4 hour drive. We are able to afford our dream home in those areas and schools are good too. But I'm so worried about loving as I've always lived here. What if we don't like it after the novelty has worn off? Has anyone loved that far just to be able to afford their dream home? I just can't decide if it's right for us to do, also if we move we definitely won't be able to come back if we don't like it as we'd be priced out. I don't want to keep changing kids schools either. I think the main fear comes from always living here.
Really struggling to decide but can't get the dream house we saw out of my head .
Any suggestions? Sorry this post is so long xx

@MerryChristmasHarry we didn't like Birmingham much to be honest (no offence to anyone who lives there ) likes Manchester and Leeds though

Haha fair enough! I'm near Manchester myself. I'd recommend that and Leeds if you do choose to move, based on what you've said.

I don't really understand the reluctance to move. My mum moved from the Black Country to the north-east of Scotland when she married, having met Dad when the RN sent her to South Africa and his ship out into dry dock; she then spent forty years trekking around the world with him. I moved two and a half hours south after university thirty plus years ago and I have more here than I do up north; I'm surrounded by friends here with only a few cousins left in our original area. I still saw my parents at least once a month - the transport links are good. I moved for work and set about making friends in this area, in an area where I still find some trouble with a broad accent! 😁 Moving away from your original area isn't that horrific though moving to London and surrounding areas would be to me.

@MerryChristmasHarry thank you , we liked urmston, flixton and davuhulme in Manchester. Not too sure about Leeds but heard anywhere in north Leeds is good.
Nottingham was nice but did seem a bit quite but it's also closer to London to travel. We liked littleover in derby which is only 30 mins if that drive into Nottingham. Loved the new builds in derby

@bigdecsions Croydon or Couldsdon?

DH & I looked at moving a little further out (we are zone 2/3) a couple of yrs ago but the cost & upheaval wasn't worth it for not much more space. We actually spent quite a bit of time over the Summer visiting friends in other cities & when I see their houses I thought why I am staying. Jobs aren't too much of an issue as DHs company has offices all over the UK. Bristol was lovely.

My reluctance to moving away is because apart from my mum & my siblings all my aunts, uncles, cousins live in my mums & dads country, so does my dad. my family are very close but I feel I missed out on the closeness to my cousins & grandparents. I like that my kids see their grandmas & aunts/uncles frequently. FIL is very ill so DH worries about his mum.

What about Brighton and Hove. I always think it's like an area of London by the sea. Must be cheaper there?

I know those areas. What's your budget? I know I said I'd stay put but you seem to be at least considering the move.

@eeksville Croydon. I Would do it if I had friends there like you.

@eeksville just read your second post.

@SacramentoMN Brighton is definitely cheaper .my husband is keen on Brighton too, I'm not too sure I love it for a day visit and that's our regular beach. I'm
Asian and I don't think there's many Asians who reside there.

@MerryChristmasHarry oh I don't know what I'm doing at the moment to be honest. My mind changed daily. Budget ideally no more than 350k but could stretch more if required

Friends who were Croydon based have moved to Warlingham way & then other parts of Surrey eg Oxted.

Location is always the number one for me!

Derby isn’t a big city. Don’t go to Derby...
Nottingham is a bit bigger but not comparable to living in London.

We moved out of London six years ago and I’m only just at the point where I’d stay where we are and not go back, even if we could afford it. I’d think very carefully and be prepared for it to be very hard, at first.

@eeksville yes that's what we would like but like I sai I would have to increase my mortgage for the same room and lost probably no off street parking either . S

I've got loads of friends who left London and moved to Bristol and are loving it here. They left friends and relatives there (siblings), although had not grown up there, so were less tied to the place. I think that you should have a look at other cities, stay for a weekend and view some properties. Only that will give you an idea about how serious you are and how prepared you are to move. Just sitting thinking about it isn't enough.

I think you'd be mad to. As a SAHM and with older children, you won't have the ability to meet people the way you do when your DC are little. You will lose the frequent contact and support is your family and friends.

I think you should consider going back to work, at least part time, to bring more money in and help finance a better home that way.

I moved out 10 years ago, and it took around 7 years before I could say I had ok friends, and another year or two to say I had good friends.

@BoudicasBoudoir yes Derby's big. Oh but the area we looked was 30 mins drive to Nottingham so I thought that might be ok? I know it's going to be hard and if I was guaranteed after a couple of years I'd love it I'd love but it the fear of regret that scares me so much

@HypatiaCade I still have 2 younger one who are 5 and 2, totally get what you're saying thought. I will be going back to work I've only been a SAHM for 1 year. But the point is we don't want to overstretch ourself on Mortage. Even with me Back at work we definitely can't afford a 4 bed in London

@BoudicasBoudoir sorry I meant Derby's not big

I really wouldn't consider Derby. The countryside is beautiful, but the city doesn't have a huge amount to offer in comparison to London. Unless you want to live embrace country living, I would stay well clear. I say this as someone who grew up there and moved around the county a lot. In fact, if you're used to London, then I would consider Southampton/Winchester area, Brighton/Lewes or Bristol. Bristol is a very happening city with lots to do with the kids and easy access to the countryside. I moved around a lot (Derby, Norwich, Vancouver, Stafford, Bath then Bristol). I had no connections to Bristol at all. Just visited it and it felt right. Have had no regrets. In terms of things to do here: zoo, aquarium, museums, art galleries, national trust properties, the harbour side (Inc SS Great Britain), Theatres, several animal/family day out parks, some amazing green spaces and lots of festivals (the harbourside festival, food festival, international balloon fiesta, kite festival) Upfest (street art festival). There is always something going on. And the people here are really friendly!

In your position I would say no. You've got a house, albeit not your dream house but it seems big enough to house your family. Having extended family nearby is immeasurable- if you get on with them at least!

You said you're a sahm but intend to go back to work, could you afford to extend or move in 5-10 years to the better area a few miles away?

How would your children feel about moving for a bigger house, but away from family? I don't think my dc would want that but every child / family is different. Do your children think they currently have a nice life? Moving 150-200 miles away means seeing extended family a few times a year. That is hard and takes a lot of planning, esp with 4 dc.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your family but personally I wouldn't do it simply for a dream house.

Re Derby though, Littleover is fine. Other places that are also ok are Little Eaton, Duffield, parts of Allestree and Darley Abbey. All easy to get into the centre from - esp Darley Abbey.

Yes 100%
You can visit family and friends, have them to stay in your new home and you have the opportunity to make new friends too.

Plus a more to a bigger house, more space etc will be so worth it.