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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking in disabled when pregnant

247 replies

Notagainsusan · 05/09/2019 20:28

So I don't actually think I am bu but I just need someone else to wtf with me and have no one I can rant to in real life other than dh who may soon cut his ears off rather than listen to me again 😛

Good friend is pregnant. I have a 10 week old baby. Yesterday we went to the supermarket together. As we were driving round my friend commented on the lack of baby and parent spaces to which I said oh don't worry he's in his pram anyway so not like I really need the space (I mean he won't be running in front of cars etc and spaces at this shop are quite big so I could easily get the buggy out 😊).

Friend then comments how she can't walk very far atm.
I did internally eye roll at this. She is 7 weeks pregnant. So far in this pregnancy she has had every symptom known to man kind and keeps commenting how her bump is huge already. At 10 weeks post partum I have more of a bump than she does, she is literally stick thin. However I realise I'm being a bit mean here and she is very excited to be pregnant.

Anyway! As we drive around she pulls into a disabled space. I didn't think she had realised so I said oh this isn't parent and child it's disabled. To which she tells me that as she is pregnant she is fine to park in disabled?! I replied saying I didn't think that was true and we should probably move. She said she wasn't and tbh I didn't want the hassle of an argument as she had done me a favour by driving so I shut up.

We get out the car, do the shop, all fine. When we are getting back in the car I was folding the buggy etc when a lady approaches and starts having a go at me for using the space?! Saying how it is not for child and parents. I didn't get a chance to say anything back to this woman as she stormed off mid shout about how inconsiderate I was. Friend just stands there and then raises an eyebrow to me.

In the car I bring up the woman shouting at me and friend just says 'oh don't let her ruin your day'. 😳😳 I said maybe this is a lesson in not using disabled bays unless you're actually disabled and she went in a huff saying how she was feeling really hormonal and not sleeping well so she didn't want to have to walk far ?! She dropped us off at home and it was all a bit awkward.

I'm annoyed that I got the blame for her wanting to use a disabled bay! And that she is using one in the first place!

Prepared to be flamed as I probably should have got her to move but I've no idea how and couldn't face an argument with ds in the back waiting for his stinky nappy to be changed 😂

OP posts:
CGTER567 · 05/09/2019 21:00

I don't know if she could have made her friend move, but I wouldn't have been party to it. I'd have made my own way home and told her why.

MoonageDaydreamz · 05/09/2019 21:00

Yes friend was unreasonable and obviously if caught would have been fined for not having a badge.

I do just wish that there were more parent / child places and it was stipulated that a 'child' is eg under 5, not a bloody 12 year old.

Currently 36 weeks pregnant and have a 18 month old and 4 year old, so yes I do give an evil eye to those who take the places with much older kids as there are never enough. I've never parked in a disabled bay though despite there always being always at least a dozen available.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2019 21:00

It isn’t even blue badge spaces are only for disabled people. They are only for disabled people who have blue badges.

Totally unreasonable of her to park there.

Tippety · 05/09/2019 21:00

Parent and child are fair enough if you need the extra room when pregnant in my opinion (I couldn't drive from about 16 weeks as my hips felt like they were ripping apart whilst on fire with cactuses rolled over the top), we used P&C if there were plenty free as I needed the door wide open to manoeuvre out (extremely ungracefully). But no way to a disabled space!

Sirzy · 05/09/2019 21:00

Pic didn’t post I don’t think

Parking in disabled when pregnant
Bourbonbiccy · 05/09/2019 21:01

Your friend is being unreasonable to park in a space not designated to her.

According to MN though, the woman was extremely unreasonable as she had absolutely no right to be frustrated and should have waited patiently or just kept her now out.

duffyluth · 05/09/2019 21:02

Why is beaverdam also referenced as 38beaverdam

Did they name change and have MNHQ alter their name to match up?

KronksSpinachPuffs · 05/09/2019 21:02

Yeah she was definitely out of order.

As a side note I had a friend who when was pregnant was just like your friend - at 14 weeks pregnant she told us she couldnt possibly drive for much longer as she could barely fit her bump behind her seat. This was just one of 10000 things that was "wrong" with her during pregnancy (ie there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary but she clearly thought she was the only person to ever be pregnant)

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2019 21:07

Your friend is a cunt. Like the picture. I have a blue badge. I had to be assessed by an occupational therapist. Gruelling questions plus a walking and mobility test.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 05/09/2019 21:08

When I was pregnant I was unable to walk without crutches (or sometimes I needed a wheelchair). I still wouldn't have used a disabled space, because I could just park further away from the shop and allow more time for slow hobbling/wheeling. Someone with a permanent disability wouldn't have that option.

Disabled people had to fight for a tiny bit of space to be made for them in society. They need that space, it isn't a luxury. It's twattish in the extreme to think that not wanting to walk far is in any way comparable to having a genuine disability.

Beaverdam · 05/09/2019 21:12

@02duffyluth i havent name changed?

Beaverdam · 05/09/2019 21:14

Your friend is massively overreacting to being a few weeks pregnant. God help when she gets to 38 weeks.

Redshoeblueshoe · 05/09/2019 21:15

I agree with Moonage. I have no problem with pregnant people using P&C places, but last week I was out with a toddler, in the P&C spaces one mum drove out with her teen, to be replaced by another mum driving in with her teen.
As for disabled spaces our car park has a lot, and they are usually full.
I hope the woman in the OP gets fined.

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 05/09/2019 21:18

Seven weeks pg? Jesus wept. Not even like she’s 38 weeks with spd. She is a nasty selfish cf.

I’d be distancing myself from her. How rude, self-centred and shitty is she?

TheTrollFairy · 05/09/2019 21:19

Your friend is a twat. I hope she gets fined for parking in a disabled bay when she’s perfectly able

Malvinaa81 · 05/09/2019 21:19

She will be even worse when she has the baby- it will in her eyes qualify her for disabled spaces until it is 18!

TabbyMumz · 05/09/2019 21:21

The lady shouting was rude for presuming you or your friend were not disabled, you could have forgotten to put the badge up. She could have asked you if you had a disabled badge first. You friend is wrong to park there though.

Original poster
Notagainsusan · 05/09/2019 21:24

Oh I totally agree she should not have parked there...and maybe iwbu to not make my own way home but tbh I'd no idea how I'd have done that :-/ we don't live somewhere with great public transport and I wouldn't feel safe taking my son in a taxi with no car seat (ours is isofix so has a base etc) I will bring it up with her again :-)

As to the pp who said I don't like her, that's not true, I just don't like her behaviour atm 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
GruciusMalfoy · 05/09/2019 21:24

Your friend is an inconsiderate twat. Pregnancy alone isn't an excuse to use a space you're not entitled to be in.

CGTER567 · 05/09/2019 21:26

Luckily she drives. Imagine if she was asked to fold her pram for a wheelchair on a bus....

SleepIsForTheWeeak · 05/09/2019 21:26

Imagine what she’ll be like if she goes overdue and can actually barely walk LOL. Pregnancy isn’t a disability, she needs to keep out the disability parking spaces. If she does that anywhere else she’d get a parking fine for not displaying a blue badge.

bakingdiva · 05/09/2019 21:27

I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and have a huge bump and SPD. I normally have my toddler with me so park in the P&C child spaces with her. However, there are times when I do still park in the P&C spaces because I cannot physically get in / out of a normal space right now, and I do actually have a child with me, just not quite visible yet.

I would NEVER dream of using a disabled space, I do not have a permanent disability, I have a ‘self-inflicted’ temporary difficulty that has an end date (soon, please soon!). How could I dare inconvenience someone who does not have the luxury of knowing it’s not going to be the rest of their life. They NEED the disabled spaces, I am grateful for the P&C spaces...big difference.

SinkGirl · 05/09/2019 21:35

To be fair, I felt like I was dying when I was 7 weeks and I know everyone that knew was rolling their eyes at me being stuck indoors and cancelling things. It ended up being twins and the first trimester was brutal.

Still didn’t use disabled bays though, not even when I was third trimester and reliant on crutches to even stand because my pelvis was separating every time I moved.

My son has a blue badge now and shit like this drives me insane

CJsGoldfish · 05/09/2019 21:36

I'm not sure I could be friends with someone so selfish tbh.

And she doesn't have a pregnancy 'bump' at 7 weeks. Twat.

BizzzzyBee · 05/09/2019 21:38

You aren’t allowed to park in a disabled space unless you have a blue badge. Your friend will get a ticket if she keeps doing it, pregnant or not.

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