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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking in disabled when pregnant

247 replies

Notagainsusan · 05/09/2019 20:28

So I don't actually think I am bu but I just need someone else to wtf with me and have no one I can rant to in real life other than dh who may soon cut his ears off rather than listen to me again 😛

Good friend is pregnant. I have a 10 week old baby. Yesterday we went to the supermarket together. As we were driving round my friend commented on the lack of baby and parent spaces to which I said oh don't worry he's in his pram anyway so not like I really need the space (I mean he won't be running in front of cars etc and spaces at this shop are quite big so I could easily get the buggy out 😊).

Friend then comments how she can't walk very far atm.
I did internally eye roll at this. She is 7 weeks pregnant. So far in this pregnancy she has had every symptom known to man kind and keeps commenting how her bump is huge already. At 10 weeks post partum I have more of a bump than she does, she is literally stick thin. However I realise I'm being a bit mean here and she is very excited to be pregnant.

Anyway! As we drive around she pulls into a disabled space. I didn't think she had realised so I said oh this isn't parent and child it's disabled. To which she tells me that as she is pregnant she is fine to park in disabled?! I replied saying I didn't think that was true and we should probably move. She said she wasn't and tbh I didn't want the hassle of an argument as she had done me a favour by driving so I shut up.

We get out the car, do the shop, all fine. When we are getting back in the car I was folding the buggy etc when a lady approaches and starts having a go at me for using the space?! Saying how it is not for child and parents. I didn't get a chance to say anything back to this woman as she stormed off mid shout about how inconsiderate I was. Friend just stands there and then raises an eyebrow to me.

In the car I bring up the woman shouting at me and friend just says 'oh don't let her ruin your day'. 😳😳 I said maybe this is a lesson in not using disabled bays unless you're actually disabled and she went in a huff saying how she was feeling really hormonal and not sleeping well so she didn't want to have to walk far ?! She dropped us off at home and it was all a bit awkward.

I'm annoyed that I got the blame for her wanting to use a disabled bay! And that she is using one in the first place!

Prepared to be flamed as I probably should have got her to move but I've no idea how and couldn't face an argument with ds in the back waiting for his stinky nappy to be changed 😂

OP posts:
jennymanara · 07/09/2019 09:18

If you use a wheelchair, you physically need a larger space to get the wheelchair out and into it. I had to use a wheelchair for 2 months and was not entitled to a BB, so just used parent and toddler spaces instead.

lilypips · 07/09/2019 09:23

@serenoa

The sign the symbol is on usually ascertains what it means.

And anyone who interprets a wheelchair symbol to mean accessible for fucking prams is a knob!

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 07/09/2019 09:44

Your friend was unreasonable but you know that. The woman that had a go at you probably shouldn't have as you weren't driving but it's an emotive subject.
The previous poster who had SPD in pregnancy has my upmost sympathy, mine started early (currently 28 weeks and it is a nightmare) my doctor asked my work to provide me with a space as the carpark I parked in was a 20 min walk when you were able bodied. It was taking me much longer and physio had given me crutches. The request was denied and I was told to go and get a blue badge, as if it was that easy. I was in tears as I was sure I'd end up not being able to work. Luckily 2 months later a very nice manager caught wind of what was happening and fought for me to get a space. It's a normal space and I struggle to get in and out if there's someone parked next to me but I do my best.

Gilead · 07/09/2019 13:49

Your friend is being unreasonable, but that stick wheelchair symbol doesn't mean 'disabled' it means 'accessible' and accessible is for anyone who needs it; like needing space to get a buggy into or out of a car, or a wheelchair.
No, it means it's accessible for those with disabilities, not that it's accessible for all and sundry. But do try it with your pram, and don't forget to pay the fine!

GabsAlot · 07/09/2019 13:51

No it doesnt mean accessible for prams ffs

Redglitter · 07/09/2019 13:54

Your friend is being unreasonable, but that stick wheelchair symbol doesn't mean 'disabled' it means 'accessible' and accessible is for anyone who needs it; like needing space to get a buggy into or out of a car, or a wheelchair

What a lot of garbage. It means accessible to people with DISABILITIES not people with prams ffs.

Victoriajosephine86 · 07/09/2019 13:58

Your friend is being unreasonable, but that stick wheelchair symbol doesn't mean 'disabled' it means 'accessible' and accessible is for anyone who needs it; like needing space to get a buggy into or out of a car, or a wheelchair

Biggest load of utter bullshit I’ve ever read. It means DISABLED!!! How fucking thick are some people?!

Victoriajosephine86 · 07/09/2019 14:01

I do think there’s a lack of P&C spaces compared to disabled spaces
Boo. Hoo.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 07/09/2019 14:04

@serenoa The ISO standard does not cover the specific meaning of the sign, only standardise its design.

In the UK, its usage on public highways is covered by The Traffic Signs Regulations and General Directions - a statutory instrument - in which the symbol described in ISO 7001 is defined specifically to indicate a "parking place reserved for disabled badge holders".

To further clarify, the TSRGD gives a list of acceptable legends to accompany the sign:

  1. “Disabled badge holders”;
  2. “Disabled badge holders only”;
  3. “Disabled badge holders only at all times”;
  4. “Disabled badge holder” and a permit identifier; or
  5. “Disabled badge holder only” and a permit identifier

In council run car parks, the signage will indicate the requirements, but I have never seen one that doesn't stipulate the bays are for people displaying a valid disabled badge.

In private car parks, the Protection of Freedoms Act and contract law apply, and any action would need to be tested in court but, again, invariably, they stipulate that the bays are for people displaying a valid disabled badge.

PhilCornwall1 · 07/09/2019 14:05

@Victoriajosephine86 yep, you are right. Those spaces are reserved for blue badge holders.

It grips my shit when non-badge holders park in them. I'm a blue badge holder and need it, I certainly don't want to have one, but need it.

Pregnancy to my mind is a choice (most of the time!), not a disability.

Rant over!

Durgasarrow · 07/09/2019 14:46

Healthy pregnant women taking disabled parking spaces. Parents taking parking spaces because they have prams. People saying fuck it, park wherever you want. Please tell me this is not normal in the UK.

phoenix1404 · 07/09/2019 15:00

I once parked blocking in a 'Cashpoint Cripple' in a blue badge space (they're next to the ATMs) at the supermarket. Went in in my wheelchair, straight to Customer Services, told them what I'd done, and left my mobile number.

They said they'd call me when the driver came asking for help. But they wouldn't rush. Wink

TheFairyCaravan · 07/09/2019 15:05

Your friend is being unreasonable, but that stick wheelchair symbol doesn't mean 'disabled' it means 'accessible' and accessible is for anyone who needs it; like needing space to get a buggy into or out of a car, or a wheelchair.

You seriously can't believe that, can you? What a load of bollocks!

GabsAlot · 07/09/2019 19:17

same as our store @phoenix1404 stupid place to put the cash machines happens alot

TruthOnTrial · 07/09/2019 19:29

Yet another entitled pregnant.

I would leave her frankly, she sounds vile, and has zero empathy for someone actually struggling because they have less ability than her.

Hoping she gets a ticket soon so she'll realise how awful she's behaving!

This sounds like many similar nasty disabled bay parking threads recently.

What do you think of your 'friend' now OP, don't you think she's a different person to who you thought she was. She's surely gone down massively in your estimations?

I wouldn't want to go out with her in her car again.

Groovee · 07/09/2019 19:31

As someone who had SPD in pregnancy and still used normal spaces but due to an invisible disability now has a blue badge. She is being very unreasonable.

sashh · 08/09/2019 14:05

I do think there’s a lack of P&C spaces compared to disabled spaces

1/4 of the population have a disability. Not all do require a BB, eg deafness will not get you a BB without another disability but there are not 1/4 of the population with small children.

Yabbers

Got you, yep that drives me mad too.

I also have blocked people in when there isn't a badge, they called out my reg to go to customer services and said I was blocking them in. I said if they had a BB I would move but as they were not displaying one they were actually blocking the space and I'd only be about 30mins, maybe a hour.

Thornhill58 · 08/09/2019 14:12

I parked by mistake in a disable space. Very stupid of me. It was at the cinema they were many other spaces so not making excuses. We were running late.
I've got a fine and as much as I didn't want to pay it I did. Your friend will be in trouble specially because you need to prove you are disable.

Ledute · 16/09/2019 10:06

I do not think it is bad or inconsiderate. I had bad experience whilst pregnant and driving. I was driving up to my due date and guess what, number of times i asked strangers to drive my car out of the parking space because it’s impossible to get into the or out of the car when you carry a watermelon!!! Its not a disability but hell its a condition- cant tie shoelaces or put my underwear on without spending and hour or two trying to figure out what angle is best to reach it!!! So you tell me where should a pregnant woman park if parent and child spaces are unavailable??? Or maybe pregnant women should just take a walk with shopping and etc...we already look loaded enough i guess ;)

berlinbabylon · 16/09/2019 10:33

I do think there’s a lack of P&C spaces compared to disabled spaces

P&C spaces are only needed because people insist on driving oversized cars (see other thread about SUVs). If you want a big car, accept that you may need to park at the far reaches of the car park to avoid other cars if you can't get a P&C space. Or buy a smaller car.

And pregnancy is not a disability and you don't have a blue badge. So you can't use the disabled spaces.

There is a case to be made for spaces for "temporary" disabilities like having crutches after an accident or suffering from SPD while pregnant - but currently they don't exist.

SoupDragon · 16/09/2019 13:27

P&C spaces are only needed because people insist on driving oversized cars

🙄

Figgygal · 16/09/2019 13:32

Yes ledute you park further away

Your friend is a prick op
Anyone who parks in a BB space without need is a prick
No excuse

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