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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking in disabled when pregnant

247 replies

Notagainsusan · 05/09/2019 20:28

So I don't actually think I am bu but I just need someone else to wtf with me and have no one I can rant to in real life other than dh who may soon cut his ears off rather than listen to me again 😛

Good friend is pregnant. I have a 10 week old baby. Yesterday we went to the supermarket together. As we were driving round my friend commented on the lack of baby and parent spaces to which I said oh don't worry he's in his pram anyway so not like I really need the space (I mean he won't be running in front of cars etc and spaces at this shop are quite big so I could easily get the buggy out 😊).

Friend then comments how she can't walk very far atm.
I did internally eye roll at this. She is 7 weeks pregnant. So far in this pregnancy she has had every symptom known to man kind and keeps commenting how her bump is huge already. At 10 weeks post partum I have more of a bump than she does, she is literally stick thin. However I realise I'm being a bit mean here and she is very excited to be pregnant.

Anyway! As we drive around she pulls into a disabled space. I didn't think she had realised so I said oh this isn't parent and child it's disabled. To which she tells me that as she is pregnant she is fine to park in disabled?! I replied saying I didn't think that was true and we should probably move. She said she wasn't and tbh I didn't want the hassle of an argument as she had done me a favour by driving so I shut up.

We get out the car, do the shop, all fine. When we are getting back in the car I was folding the buggy etc when a lady approaches and starts having a go at me for using the space?! Saying how it is not for child and parents. I didn't get a chance to say anything back to this woman as she stormed off mid shout about how inconsiderate I was. Friend just stands there and then raises an eyebrow to me.

In the car I bring up the woman shouting at me and friend just says 'oh don't let her ruin your day'. 😳😳 I said maybe this is a lesson in not using disabled bays unless you're actually disabled and she went in a huff saying how she was feeling really hormonal and not sleeping well so she didn't want to have to walk far ?! She dropped us off at home and it was all a bit awkward.

I'm annoyed that I got the blame for her wanting to use a disabled bay! And that she is using one in the first place!

Prepared to be flamed as I probably should have got her to move but I've no idea how and couldn't face an argument with ds in the back waiting for his stinky nappy to be changed 😂

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2019 22:43

Pregnant women who have restricted mobility, yes. I would cut those people with a disability who can’t get a badge but need the space some slack too.

They could park in p and c spaces. Not BB.

fortheloveofgod7654 · 05/09/2019 22:44

Twats who use disabled parking spaces without their own blue badge make my life really difficult. It's always "only for ten minutes" yadayadayafa. So
Selfish. So entitled. So inconsiderate.
I often have to give up and go home because there are no blue badge spaces. Every day I see a selfish fucker parking in blue badge spaces without a blue badge. I hate all of you
who do it, even if it's "only for a minute" (how do I know if your car is going to be empty and parked there for a few minutes or a few hours?).
If I ever ask someone to move or the management to tannoy the numberplate so that the next disabled person who comes into the car park can park, I get looked at like I'm the one being a pain in the arse.
People like your friend should lose their licenses for a week; that would
teach them what it's like to have to get around without the use of a car...because if all the blue badge spaces are full then I might as well not have a car because I have to go all the way back home because I can't use any of the other spaces and the road is too far away for me to manage.
Selfish entitled precious woman who is going to be an absolute nightmare for the rest of her pregnancy .
The

ScreamingBeans · 05/09/2019 22:45

She should thank her lucky stars she doesn't have the disability that goes with the parking space.

She sounds like an arse tbh.

Durgasarrow · 05/09/2019 22:45

She's breaking the law, and she's being cruel.

Durgasarrow · 05/09/2019 22:47

Being seven months pregnant does not mean you are disabled and need to park in a disabled space FFS.

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 05/09/2019 22:48

@Beaverdam I think your friend should park where she likes

Well, I think you'd find the law disagrees with you there. Perhaps drop the entitled attitude and park in accordance to your situation.

TartanCurtains1 · 05/09/2019 22:49

She'll be a nightmare for the rest of her pregnancy no doubt...you'd be a saint to put up with her! She sounds ridiculous.
And a bump at 7 weeks?! Ok.....

FairyDust92 · 05/09/2019 22:49

A bump at 7 weeks?! Wow. She shouldn't have used that space and if she's finding it hard to walk now I feel sorry for her for the rest of her pregnancy 😂

Urskeks · 05/09/2019 22:49

Like @41GotToGoMyOwnWay I struggle to find disabled bays, particularly now that they've redone our entire town centre and also now closed one of the most central car parks which had a whole three disabled spaces for us crips to fight over.

Being pregnant for me was exceedingly difficult but then it would be, I had so many things wrong with me which pregnancy upset. Not that I knew I had genuine reasons to feel that way, everything was undiagnosed.

I now use a walker and wheelchair to get about. So I need space to get me out, space to get my aid out without bashing it on a neighbouring car, and the extra time this kind of parking gives to take on board how much longer it takes me to get round town and get back in the car.

Do tell you friend all of this, from me, and that my opinion of her is file, particularly that she let you cop it when it was her fault. You did try. Thank you for trying. I know how stubborn these CFs are

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 05/09/2019 22:49

Did they really have no other way of reserving spaces?

Nope. There was apparently a discussion about giving me a space in the executive car park, which was even closer to the office than the disabled spaces, but that was vetoed as a step too far.

I feel very guilty about it now, reading the comments in this thread. I suppose a slight saving grace was that I think we had more disabled spaces than disabled employees, and I never saw the spaces filled up. I'd be mortified if I thought someone more entitled to the space couldn't have parked.

TheDarkPassenger · 05/09/2019 22:50

Everyone should move to our town. Each supermarket has tons of disabled parking and it’s almost never used!

I wouldn’t park in disabled ever ever ever I don’t even park in pnc without my kids even though sometimes I’m in so much pain it would be a million times easier. However, I wouldn’t drop a friend over it, or keep banging on about it, or flounce and refuse to get back in the car. They are all over reactions in my opinion. Just me though, it takes a fair bit to rile me right up!

BeanBag7 · 05/09/2019 22:50

Your friend is totally unreasonable. Hopefully one of these days she will be fined for parking there without a blue badge.

The woman who yelled at you was also unreasonable. She saw you folding up the buggy and assumed you were able.bodied, which you might not have been.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2019 22:51

There was apparently a discussion about giving me a space in the executive car park, which was even closer to the office than the disabled spaces, but that was vetoed as a step too far.

Wow, that is incredibly shit of your company - it's shit that the executive car park is closer than the disabled spaces in the first place, and it's then absolutely awful that they thought it was better to give you a disabled space than to share the executive car park. What a horrible place to work.

BlankTimes · 05/09/2019 22:55

OP, Look at the sign in the car park that says the spaces are for blue badge holders only.

Especially the bit that says what the fine is for parking there without a Blue Badge. Point it out to your friend.

I hope she gets caught and fined.

TildaKauskumholm · 05/09/2019 22:57

I am touchy about parking, being disabled. If I can't get a BB space then I'm stuffed, as I need that wide space otherwise I can't get out of my car as I need to open the door fully to accommodate my non-bending and painful leg. Your friend is a selfish twat, as are others who pretend to be disabled just so they can be nearer.

duffyluth · 05/09/2019 22:57

Incidentally, the rules on BB spaces in private car parks are entirely different to public roadside spaces. The building regulations say a service provider must make reasonable adjustments for service users with additional needs. This extends to the provision of parking spaces. That doesn’t mean you MUST have a badge to park in those spaces. It is not illegal to park in those spaces.

Interesting then that they all specify Blue Badge holders only. I didn't know that it's all a bunch of bollocks and you can park wherever the fuck you want in Tesco car park. I was ticketed myself for parking without displaying a badge in Tesco car park earlier this year, should i contact the car park company and tell them they wrote the wrong reason on the ticket because you said you don't need a B.B.?

duffyluth · 05/09/2019 22:58

Sorry just to clarify, I forgot to put the badge up. I wasn't being a cunt.

Tennis82 · 05/09/2019 22:58

@Beaverdamdisabled parking spaces are there for a reason, not convenience. Bear in mind that if I can't park in a disabled space I have to go home! I can't go and squeeze my car into a regular parking space as I have to open my car door fully in order for me to get my wheelchair out.

Of you're one of the idiots who parks in a disabled space without a blue badge: STOP BEING DOWNRIGHT SELFISH AND ACTUALLY CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLES NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN!!!!!

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 05/09/2019 23:04

She's going to struggle in labour isn't she?! I don't think I could be friends with such a twat.

My dad used to block people in who parked in BB spaces without one. Massive car so sometimes he could do two at once. Not all heroes wear capes.

Teakind · 05/09/2019 23:07

YANBU. Your friend sounds like a total drama queen.

I had really bad SPD in pregnancy and struggled to walk far at all but I would never have used a disabled parking space.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 05/09/2019 23:09

Incidentally, the rules on BB spaces in private car parks are entirely different to public roadside spaces. The building regulations say a service provider must make reasonable adjustments for service users with additional needs. This extends to the provision of parking spaces. That doesn’t mean you MUST have a badge to park in those spaces. It is not illegal to park in those spaces.

True - it then falls under contract law as for all parking on private land. If you refused to pay, and the private parking company took you to court, it would, assuming they've followed the BPA Code of Practice properly, probably be a fairly slam-dunk case if you don't even have a blue badge (rather than just having one but forgetting to display it).

Original poster
Notagainsusan · 05/09/2019 23:10

I feel like I need to clarify my stance for some posters as this is obviously an emotive topic beyond me being annoyed at having taken the blame for something I didn't want to happen.

I 10000% agree she should not have been in a disabled space. When I was pregnant I parked in neither disabled (because I wasn't disabled) or parent and child (because I was still fully mobile although had I been as some pps struggling with spd I may have considered it).

I did try to get her to move and I have spoken to her twice how about not parking in disabled spaces but I accept I could have taken a stronger stance at the time.

To people who have said I don't like her. That's simply not true although I can see how this thread may have given that impression. She has been a good friend for many many years it is just that unfortunately since finding out she is pregnant I have seen a whole new side to her. Her ex husband cited some things when they divorced that never seemed to fit her personality but I have seen for myself in the last few weeks. She is incredibly excited for this baby and I think has become quite selfish with her attitude. I'm not going to pull away from the friendship just yet because like I say this behaviour is new to me and not what I've seen in the past however I will keep pulling her on stuff like yesterday and will try to make more of a point.

OP posts:
Tennis82 · 05/09/2019 23:10

@bakingdiva thank you for your comment, it's restored my faith in humanity a little. I'm keeping everything crossed your new arrival comes sooner rather than later and without further complications. I wish everyone shared your point of view.

Original poster
Notagainsusan · 05/09/2019 23:12

I guess while I'm annoyed with her and think she has been ridiculous our many years of friendship mean I'm not just going to end the relationship and instead see if she calms down a bit and realise she's been a bit of a dick with this stuff.

OP posts:
Xenadog · 05/09/2019 23:16

I would really struggle to remain friends with such a selfish, entitled, self-absorbed twat. Honestly, I would ditch her. That is just awful behaviour.