oh I AM, I KNOW, I am overreacting and the rest, but MIL is ANNOYING ME

[fillyjonk]

And why?

She INSISTS on my kids (aged 2 and nearly 4) wearing a bloody plastic BIB at every meal they take with her

I tried losing ours, a thoughtful Christmas present from her to us (note not her to the kids).

But she has bought more and this time carries them with her when she comes to visit so that there is no chance of either of her grandchildren going bibless for a meal.

It is turning into a stand off. At the start of each meal, including those involving only sliced apples and rice cakes, she whips out the bibs and sighs and says to the kids, "well, better get these on you, I suppose".

I am not sure WHY it annoys me so much, and I accept that I am making a mountain out of a molehill but it is SO annoying.

I could possibly cope if they were nice bibs and my kids were about half their current ages.

Oh my God, your MIL is interfering in the extreme. I'm surprised you can stand her even setting foot in your house - I could not possibly stand this level of domestic meddling. I actually think you can and should stand up to her and tell her that she cannot do as she pleases in your house. As for rummaging through drawers for unironed shirts... that is beyond limits. Confine her to the sitting room and one loo and don't let her near the kitchen/bedroom etc.

I told my mother out of law that she was to use the loo, not the kitchen, for washing her hands

Just tell her? Just say, "Thanks but my kids don't need bibs. Very kind but put them away." How long has she been walking all over you then?

lol

here is how it goes

I put up with this crap

she takes the kids out for the WHOLE DAY and I get time to myself.

I do find that this makes up for a lot, even though I know she is making them wear bibs.

Also, we have a standoffy situation re cleaning. She does it. I sigh a bit about it. But secretly, though I loathe the fact that she feels she has a right to nose in my fridge, i am most aware that if she does it, I don't have to.

Bloody hell filly. I would have put locks on doors by now and banned all plastic substances from her at the front door!

Ah Filly,that is a definite point in her favour...

Going through the drawers? Ah yes, my MIL did that when she stayed with us.
Not mine - I've already had words about that, but cleaned up DH's side of the bed.

The best bit was that he had a couple of old work shirts that had holes which were put aside as paint shirts for DS. She found them, washed and ironed them and hung them bakc in his closet.

Mind you she also vacuumed out the garage - what can I say?

I'd get a big lock on the bedroom door! and hide the bibs in there as well

oh lol

she is really not THAT bad

no she doesn't treat us with much respect, esp dp, who actually really doesn't get on with her, because she treats him like an incompetant 7 yo. But hey, he WAS once, and there are worse things.

But she IS my MIL, I am very aware I could do a feck of a lot worse. And she's my kids grandmother.

And also-I have a son. So I am learning

therein lies the rub filly, if you let her do your cleaning, tricky to assert yourself in your own home...

am tempted to give her an adult bib for xmas though...

omg I do not LET her do my cleaning though. I am aware that this is a slippery slope.

I tell her not to. I have been telling her this for 10 years. I come down of a morning to find she has defrosted the fridge.

I have had more arguments with her about that over the years than anything else.

But tbh- I can't stop her doing it without an utterly almightly row. A lot of this comes down to her wanting to be needed, but also not being very interested in what we actually need, rather imposing her ideas of what we OUGHT to need upon us.

So I have to endure her cleaning my house, which actually does massively piss me off, and THEN she expects a thank you. And sulks if she doesn't get it.

At the same time I doubt its as innocent as all that. She IS trying to enroach on my territory, etc etc. But really, I don't want a fight with her, I just don't see the point. I suspect she would quite like a big fight with me, actually.

you have the patience of a saint.
I would have been arrested for assault following an almighty row by now!

Because of the war my MIL has to eat everything on her plate.Therefore I pile it high and watch her eat til her eyes bulge.
Me,passive-aggressive?

Mine's here for 10(!) days at the end of the month.
Prepare for some ranting from Sugarfree HQ.

oh YES sf have done this also. If I make it she HAS to eat it.

Have had lots of words with her about any suggestion that the kids do likewise though.

am not normally passive aggressive, but do rather enjoy dabbling in it when MIL is here

My MIL used to go throuth my laundry basket looking for things to wash - I cuaght her once with a pile of our underwear!
She used to tunr up with boxes of cleaning stuff "I've bought Domestos bleach , far better than the Tesco stuff you use".
She used to bring food as well, as she didn't like what we had in the house.

Saltire I once came back from a school run to find mine hand washing one of my bras at the kitchen sink.

dont even go there, my nan is the worst interfering women ever! She is german that says it all about her cleaning! She critisises my house, my kids eating habbits, there behaviour my clothe size arrrggghhhh i want to bitch slap her sometimes

can't you go to the other extreme?
When she gets there, make sure you're all wearing chemical contamination suits (or wetsuits) and you've covered all the rooms in plastic sheeting

If you mention no bibs at one meal and she then whips them out again at the next, you could try saying something about "Granny getting forgetful"?

Buy her some Tena pads. Tell her that at a certain age they really are a must, to protect the floors. She needn't eat the contents, though.

My MIL does things like this all the time. I generally stop visiting/inviting her for a month and then I find she behaves much better!

Get some leaflets from the GP about alzheimers and senile dementia and give them to her. If she persists with the bibs, have more leaflets to hand. Not very green but the cause is worthwhile.
On a separate note I am surprised that so many people are anti bibs. My 22 month year old has a bib at every meal and sometimes a big Harringon (muslin square) tied round her neck and then a bib on top of that. It keeps her nice and clean. I must be anal retentive.

YANBU - I never put DD in a bib now (she's nearly 4) and DS is only 8 months and it's a rare day when I have one to hand for him. I do the washing so it's my problem if they mess up!

MIL were put on this planet to make DIL miserabe and cranky

And to teach us how not to be a bad MIL ourselves - when the day comes!

Not read whole thread....

Think its up to her in her own house in a way - maybe she's extra precious about spillages and stuff.

But in your house its well out of order! I would say something like 'Actually they don't need bibs anymore - aren't they grown up!' and get on and feed them without.

YANBU