To say this needs sorting ASAP to the preschool staff?

[EndGamer]

Ds 3 goes to the school preschool - he will be in their foundation year after summer next year.
Lovely preschool he’s settled fantastically well lovely staff etc. Monday he came home his pants were dirty and his bum super sore from not being wiped properly. I explained to staff he will try and wipe it himself but he can’t do it properly could they check him and I’ve sent in some wet wipes for him.
Today hes again in dirty pants, he had a poo after the register this morning he said so he’s been like that all day! Poo on the back of his top and again he’s really sore.
Aibu to think most 3 year old would need helping out with this and to say to the preschool it needs to sorting?!

Perhaps ask your friend to teach you the difference between a semi-colon and an apostrophe.

No one on this thread has said it’s the teacher’s job to toilet train their kids and frankly I’ve never heard anyone in real life say that. I think it’s a wholly reasonable thing to expect a nursery setting - based in a school or in a private setting - to support child and to care for their needs, physical, emotional, educational. If that means cleaning a child so that they arent sitting in their own shit all day, that’s what it means. We’re talking three year olds here.

@Aannnaa, perhaps you should read the thread. We aren't talking about primary children. We're talking about 3 year olds.

TuckMyWin

I read the whole thread, friend I spoke about teaches reception - so 3 and 4 year olds.

Well I don’t think it does breach the equality act to not wipe kids’ bums for them because they aren’t denying them access to the nursery they are saying that if there’s an accident they will either direct the child as to how to clean themselves up or they will call the parent to come in and deal with it. There. That’s two options. If you don’t think that’s good enough and you’re worried your child will be sitting in his/ her own faeces on a daily basis then frankly they aren’t ready for school nursery. FWIW I am not talking about private day nursery.

This is the problem with putting 3 year olds in school Nursery. Bloody ridiculous
(Not OP, the system. Presumably this means the dc will be in school by just 4?)

Where I live kids don’t start school till at least 4 1/2 but usually 5+ and so nobody’s in school preschool till 4.
Private nurseries are completely different with far more staff and more personal care.

Accepting that it’s ok for a 3 year old who can’t yet wipe properly to sit in shit all day ? and to criticise a parent who questions whether this is right ? Bloody hell - he’s three !

@Aannaaa, unless you're not in the UK, reception is 4 and 5 year olds.

HeronLanyon

i think the issue is that if they can't wipe then they aren't mature enough to nursery etc and need one on one care

Totally agree with Aannnaa - I think parents expect it to be the same as private day care. You can’t pass the problem on to the state system. It’s not fair on the other children for goodness sake as they are having less attention because another child/ children is/are needing to be cleaned up. It’s also not pleasant for other children/ staff to be around this from a hygiene point of view .

Aannnaa
At 3 or 4 a child may not have a diagnosis, additional needs may and medical needs may only just have started being investigated.

The half a dozen kids that start primary - none of the children have or went on to have any extenuating circumstance, medical or additional need? They all just had parents who rolled up and said, "toilet train my child"? every year!?....ok. Oh and is this reception or preschool class in a primary (starting at 3)?....school nurseries rather blur this distinction, which seems to be leading to confusion on this thread and elsewhere

Nobody on this thread is expecting teachers or early years practitioners to parent their child, they are expecting them to care for them though.

hazeyjane

you are either extremely naive or you are one of THOSE parents.

Last year, in a class of 24, my friend had 9 - NINE - children all NT who were not toilet trained in her combined reception and P1 (very small school) class - so explain to me how exactly a teacher is supposed to take every child to the loo and wipe their arses for them without it impacting on how they teach the rest of the class - but i'm guessing that you are one of those parents who think teachers need to wipe their childs arse until adulthood - bet you blame them for bad GCSE and key stage results too

Jeez, I am rarely speechless, but in this instance I think I will just let you carry on Aannnaa, trying to respond would be like smacking myself in the face with a frying pan.

Aannnaaa gosh, you’re busy being provocatively cross on two threads! Are you ok?

Herocomplex

that is literally all you have to say? good for you.

I do wonder what happened in the past with no support staff in school? I started school at 4, 30 kids and 1 teacher. ASD and the like were not recognised.

I think it can be very difficult for a 3 year old to always wipe effectively (even if toilet trained) but I do also understand the struggles of the state system. I think it is however, unfair of him to be left like that from morning register until home time.
I think he needs some training with wiping - perhaps a small packet of personal wipes in his trouser pocket rather than a general pack sent to class.

Aannnaa you’re going completely overboard.

There are some parents that think the nursery will do the potty training for them! People like this do exist. It’s unfair on the children as they invariably end up getting excluded due to smell/ being called a baby etc. It’s psychologically really damaging to put children in to a social environment like that when they are still spoiling themselves. Exclusion, bullying, teasing will rapidly feature in that child’s life if the parent doesn’t help them to help themself.

I could say a lot more if you like Aannnaaa which is what I think you’re looking for. I was hoping you’d read what I said and reconsider your tone. This is a thread about a three year old coming home two days running with a sore bottom, not really the place for a blanket condemnation of what’s wrong with parents today.

• soiling

HazeyJane thank you for telling me what you would like to happen in primary schools. I'm telling you what current legislation is in Glasgow and what seems to be other areas of Scotland. You can say what you think should happen all you like, it doesn't change what will happen.

And yes there are some parents who expect nursery or school to potty train. Watched an interesting documentary once about a school in the north of England that at the time ran a nurture class for kids in reception, who hadn't been taught basic skills. Kids spent a year in this class with a high staff ratio, and the staff basically did parenting. So loved the kids, taught them basic self care, improving their speech, etc. The staff said they often had all the kids from particular families go through the nurture class.

I wouldn't expect a 3 year old to be able to wipe properly. Some 5 year olds have difficulty with this. They should be helping him, it's not on for him to be left sore all day.

I was at school in the 70s, my mum and dad were both in teaching in the 70s and 80s. Children did need to be changed at school, as accidents have always happened.

ASD and other disabilities existed then as they do now, although some children would have just been labelled 'naughty or slow'. Others would have been at special school

In the 90s many special schools were closed in a programme of inclusion - the idea being that the aim for children with disabilities and SEN, would be inclusion in mainstream schools with support in place to make reasonable adjustments. Unfortunately it is extremely hard to make mainstream education inclusive for many children where there is a lack of funding, and an education system that is increasingly target driven. So there are many more children with complex needs in a system that can't cope, and those children are often being failed and they, or their parents, demonized.