Cleaner cancelled last minute due to childcare

[UmmUmar]

I've found a fantastic cleaner, single mum by the sounds of it, brings her daughter with her (I don't mind), you can tell she is struggling financially and with her little one.

Today she cancelled on me 10 mins before the appt because of childcare. I understand that with a kid, things get a bit difficult with work but a heads up would have been nice!

Since my house has been a tip I've got to do it all by myself (pregnant + toddler, and dh works long hours)

AIBU to be upset?

@Lplus2

Her child fell asleep, she is more than welcome to use a bed/sofa at mine.
If she knew her dd might have fallen asleep then she could've let me know in advance instead of waiting for her! She doesn't come often because like you, we manage to do it ourselves, this week i've been having complications with pregnancy so things have piled up

You say you wouldn't have minded her using your spare bedroom for her child - if it transpired that they had fallen asleep because they were incubating something nasty, rather than just being tired, and your asthmatic child/ren caught it and was very ill, would you be quite so blasé?

Or would we be seeing "Cleaner brought her sick child into my house, my kid's caught it and now I'm having to take care of them AND I'M PREGNANT!"

No, you haven't got anything at all.

Well that’s what you said.

You may think it’s ‘wanky’ but being late 20s, early 30s, no children (ever) and having next to no responsibility apart from our jobs is pretty awesome. I wouldn’t take too kindly to having my lifestyle impacted by someone else’s childcare issues.

You're playing it fast and loose with the definition of a "pretty awesome" life there if the very best thing you can both imagine is not washing your own skittery pants. Each to their own.

Skittle sounds like such a lovely, charitable, not self-centred, compassionate person at all.

get back on your stool of judgement

As a one-off I'd let it go. But alarm bells would be ringing. LOUDLY. You say "I've found" a cleaner which implies it's a fairly recent arrangement. If she's prepared to let you down so early in the arrangement it does not bode well.

I have had a cleaner like this. Yes she had shit going on in her life, don't we all. But it got to the stage that although the agreement was for 3 hours a week on a Tuesday morning I never got that. I got every other week, or 1.5 hours because she had an appointment, or 2 hours on a Monday because of childcare - she was SO unreliable and in the end I just had to tell her not to bother because she wasn't able to provide the service.

My new cleaner is a wonder - she's a single mum and brings her child with her on school holidays. Never late. Warns me well in advance if she has a hospital appointment or something and makes up the time. Has had some fairly serious health issues and a bereavement in the family too but just gets on with it and is incredibly reliable.

Flabbergasted.

@Horatioroses

thank you!

@Skittlenommer
Why are you on mumsnet then if you have no kids? Going by this thread it seems to be so that you can be unkind and superior about things of which you know nothing. Weird.

If she doesn’t come often, has to bring her child on the bus, child is tired/grumpy and your House is a tip when she comes I suspect maybe she’s decided your house is more hassle to her than it’s worth.

@PortiaCastis

I do thank you!

On another note I wouldn't expect my cleaner to clean my house if its a tip. She does tidy which is amazing but I ask her to avoid anywhere messy! It's not fair and I'd far rather her be able to help with my massive stack of ironing.

A couple things. why would you want her potentially ill child in your home when you are pregnant and your ds has asthma. Also, you should be using natural cleaning products for your ds anyways. And does he really only sleep when you do? Can't you clean the bathroom after he goes to bed at night? Lastly, your cleaner should not be cleaning your home if it's a mess. They are there to strictly clean, not organize. It sounds like you need a professional organizer if your house is a tip.

@kryztinababy

Thank you for the assumptions! I am a regular mum who shops at primark and george, thank you very much!

I normally clean my house myself but this week has been difficult healthwise (not sure why I have to explain to you)

Was wondering if AIWBU if 10 mins before an appt to cancel when you can predict your child will fall asleep (even if she were to bring child up) was being unreasonable.

Guess I got your opinion, very grateful

As a cleaner I find some of these answer offensive. Like all of you never have a reason to cancel things. Your child has never been ill and u can’t go into work.

The way cleaners are treated sometimes is awful. I never tell people I am one as it leads to people sneering at me.

This is right up there with the crisis when Waitrose ran out of Brie de Meaux

You may think it’s ‘wanky’ but being late 20s, early 30s, no children (ever) and having next to no responsibility apart from our jobs is pretty awesome. I wouldn’t take too kindly to having my lifestyle impacted by someone else’s childcare issues

Thankfully not all employers are as wanky as you. My bosses are very wealthy, have staff for everything and very high expectations. They’d just ask when the hours could be made up. Lovely people.

Like all of you never have a reason to cancel things.

It's nothing to do with the occupation. It's a matter of reliability. I once had a solicitor who twice cancelled a meeting at the last minute - they didn't get a third chance as I moved to a different/more reliable one who never cancelled any.

Presume the kid is ill. If you want to guarantee someone will always be there, go through an agency who provide cover at short notice.

Ignore skittlenomer, I've only ever seen her post to talk about how awful kids are and how great it is to be childfree. Fair enough if that's your view but she finds a way to wedge it into every thread including a recent one about childhood abuse and DV. Didn't even see her name on the first wanky post on this thread to know it was her.

Why do some posters have such a problem with people having cleaners?

There are all sorts of things I could potentially do for myself but prefer to pay someone else to do. Painting and decorating. Tiling the bathroom. Servicing the car. Cutting my hair. We don't have a dog, but people pay groomers, dog walkers, dog sitters.

Is that all wrong too because you're capable of doing that work yourself?

There's nothing wrong with paying for a service. And it's not unreasonable to expect that when you pay for a service, the person comes and does the job you're paying for.

Oh, missed the last post about sleep.

I wonder next time could you maybe lock the woman’s sleeping child in your spare bedroom and refuse to let her out until the cleaner has cleaned everywhere to your standards? She might think twice about disappointing you again.

Thanks everyone who actually answered instead of judging. Will express that letting me know 10 mins before appt is disappointing, of course I'm going to ask her to come again. Just a little warning would be nice, not about the cleaning about the waiting.

Thread officially over.

Thanks fellow cleaner-hiring, non-judgemental mums out there!

To all judgemental mums: isn't it common -sense- courtesy to consider that a person is reasonable before finding out they are not?!

I guess i'll get my rubber gloves on then!