Cleaner cancelled last minute due to childcare

[UmmUmar]

I've found a fantastic cleaner, single mum by the sounds of it, brings her daughter with her (I don't mind), you can tell she is struggling financially and with her little one.

Today she cancelled on me 10 mins before the appt because of childcare. I understand that with a kid, things get a bit difficult with work but a heads up would have been nice!

Since my house has been a tip I've got to do it all by myself (pregnant + toddler, and dh works long hours)

AIBU to be upset?

Skittlenommer
It may be a luxury but if I’m paying for a service I expect it to be done! We’d just hire someone else if our housekeeper became unreliable. Lucky for us our housekeeper is amazing so it’s all hypothetical!

You sound like an absolute gem. I assume you and your hardworking husband have never been sick, never taken a day off, as your employer/clients no doubt pay for you to do your work and expect it to be done.

I can't decide whether Skittlenommer is taking the piss or not. Either way, great goading skills!

@UmmUmar - I really can't believe what a hard time you're getting. Well, actually I can as there is an cohort on here who seem to object to anything middle-class as a matter of principle.

No, you're not unreasonable to be annoyed. We all get a bit irritated when we are disappointed at the last minute.

You would be unreasonable to have shouted at her or fired her for a one-off incident. However, you didn't do that.

You are also not unreasonable to have a cleaner and you don't have to explain why you have one. I have a cleaner because I hate cleaning and I can afford it. My cleaner works as a cleaner because she finds it the best way to make a decent living given her skillset and her commitments. She makes a decent living because she is effective, efficient, reliable and trustworthy.

@Drabarni DH and I worked hard to get to a place where we don’t need to lift a finger at home. We’re not about to start doing chores now

That's nothing to be proud about, it sounds bloody stupid to me. Work the least you can and look after yourself. Silly to do that much work and still need people to manage your life

We don’t ‘need’ people to manage our lives we ‘choose’ to hire people to do so so we can spend more time enjoying ourselves. Getting home after a long day and being able to get into PJs and binge watch Netflix for 8 hours if we want to is bliss. Or being able to pack up and leave for a trip at a moments notice. It’s all made much easier when everything around us is already taken care of.

Well once he's gone to bed at night then

Op, people on aibu are really nasty to those who can afford cleaners, I think it is just jealousy. Or perhaps they are just nasty people altogether.

It's always the way on Mumsnet that if you disagree with something or someone you must be jealous. I have a cleaner and maintain that OP was being U. Not jealousy, more a different opinion which, I'd hazard, OP wanted when she posted on here.

Thread officially over

OP has managed to outwank Skittlenommer. C’est incroyable!.

@IamWaggingBrenda It may be a luxury but if I’m paying for a service I expect it to be done! We’d just hire someone else if our housekeeper became unreliable. Lucky for us our housekeeper is amazing so it’s all hypothetical

You sound like an absolute gem. I assume you and your hardworking husband have never been sick, never taken a day off, as your employer/clients no doubt pay for you to do your work and expect it to be done

I’ve never cancelled with ten minutes to spare for a stupid reason like OP’s cleaner. I understand things happen but I’m not too sympathetic to ‘childcare issues’ as an excuse. It’s all too convenient an excuse a lot of the time.

people on aibu are really nasty to those who can afford cleaners, I think it is just jealousy

I think it's discomfort with the idea of "hiring staff" rather than jealousy Getting someone to plumb in a new tap or cut a tree down is different because they are experts and have the right tools. But people can clean themselves - though again it is easier if you have good cleaning equipment. I would feel very uncomfortable about employing domestic staff. Not for the likes of me!

I’m not too sympathetic to ‘childcare issues’

Oh really? You hadn’t mentioned...

@Skittlenommer you think a problem with a child is a stupid reason !!!!!!

Well that tells me everything I need to know about you. And I’m glad I’m not ur cleaner and I clean for people who are actually nice people and have some humanity.

I believe in Karma as in arseholes always get their come uppance eventually!

@Skittlenommer if you are childfree then you have no experience of having to juggle childcare especially as a single parent. If my child wakes up one day and has D&V then I will have to take the day off work as I have no one else who can look after him at a moment's notice. Thankfully I have lovely employers!

Giving you just 10 minutes notice is a bit off though.

I hired my housekeeper for lots of reasons but the fact that she was childfree (like me and DH) was a huge contributing factor

Dude, that's illegal

Nothing wrong with having a cleaner but you're not going to get much sympathy about having to clean your house yourself, like everyone else has to. Childcare problems happen.

Sorry, but you’re coming across as a bit of a brat. If you’re house is a tip, you need to bloody well sort it out. Stop being so precious.

@berlinbabylon - I think it's discomfort with the idea of "hiring staff" rather than jealousy

Why would you feel uncomfortable about that? Do you feel uncomfortable about hiring someone to mind your children when you could do it yourself?

What gives you the right to decide that it's not right? My cleaner does a great job. Her clients treat her well. She makes a very decent living. If she wasn't cleaning, she would more than likely end up in a job where she earned a lot less as she has no qualifications so would be limited in her choice of work.

@IamtheOA I hired my housekeeper for lots of reasons but the fact that she was childfree (like me and DH) was a huge contributing factor

Dude, that's illegal

To hire someone who best fits my situation? 🤔 As I said I hired that specific lady for lots of reasons but her being childfree was a serious bonus having been let down by my last lady who was forever cancelling due to childcare reasons.

I would be unhappy about the cancelling and very short notice. At least you don’t need to pay her. I have got rid of cleaners for flakiness

I don't think it's jealousy about other people having cleaners - it's the outrage at the idea of doing their own chores that rubs people up the wrong way when the majority of people just crack on with it.

The thread officially over post just means I have to post, my fingers won't let me scroll on by.

I consider myself to be a non judgemental, cleaner hiring mum.

However, I think YABU. How much notice of 'kid is unwell' do you expect? And because I am non judgemental (well, I try), I make allowances for that. Maybe I might say 'see how she is tomorrow and come then if you can'?
I also appreciate my home being cleaned but recognise it is a luxury that I can cope without on occasion if my cleaner is having problems.

As an aside it amuses me how people get so uptight about cleaners. I used to have a cleaner as l worked a lot, getting a cleaner meant l was less stressed and had more time for other stuff

Do you give her a key? IF she can't come because her child fell asleep (is that right? child not actually ill but asleep? doesn't she have a buggy??), as she's so rigidly beholden to nap times maybe she needs to have flexible hours and come when she can?

I think this is more about the job, rather than the inconvenience tbh. If this was a solicitor you'd hired, a private doctor, or a tutor having to cancel their appointment at short notice, would you feel as pissed off? Or is it because it's a lowly unqualified cleaner who's let you down, you feel annoyed?

I concur with what @IsobelRae23 said !