Cleaner cancelled last minute due to childcare

[UmmUmar]

I've found a fantastic cleaner, single mum by the sounds of it, brings her daughter with her (I don't mind), you can tell she is struggling financially and with her little one.

Today she cancelled on me 10 mins before the appt because of childcare. I understand that with a kid, things get a bit difficult with work but a heads up would have been nice!

Since my house has been a tip I've got to do it all by myself (pregnant + toddler, and dh works long hours)

AIBU to be upset?

The child wasn’t poorly.

@KikaWhite oh yes. I have had that. Oh don’t bother coming. The night before. People don’t realise I rely on this money so much.

But typically an employer would expect more than 10 minutes'notice

But
A) an employer usually does get a short notice in the morning. Unless employers are prepared to be woken up during the night. And before mobiles it would have been when opening up. You can't book the flu.
B) people with cleaners don't usually assume employer's duties, such as sick pay, holiday pay, maternity cover, NI contributions, contracts, redundancy pay, etc...

@amispeakingenglish - to clarify, you think people who are infertile, have lost a child, don’t want children, aren’t in a situation to have children etc should pay more tax. Even though parents benefit from eg schools, child benefits, free dental and medical care during pregnancy.

So if I had a child and it, sadly, died, how soon would I be informed of my tax raise? Would it be backdated to the day of the child’s death?

Would the higher tax rate be paid from the first day of a job or would it kick in on the day a person finds out they are infertile?

If only one person in a couple is infertile does only that person pay the higher tax? Or both?

I haven't read past page 2 either. I can't believe this post. The cleaner had an issue and informed you OP. Doubt if she did it on purpose. Shit happens. You say she is a fantastic cleaner. Absolutely no reason why being pregnant with a toddler stops you cleaning your own house. Jesus wept.

Also 'DH and I worked hard to get to a place where we don’t need to lift a finger at home. We’re not about to start doing chores now' is not only the most wanky thing ever on mumsnet, it's the most wanky thing I've ever read anywhere ever.

I am pregnant, I have 2 children under 5 and I am a cleaner! Sometimes I struggle to do our housework at the moment after working and dealing with the kids so you know what happen? My husband helps or more often than not comes home from his work and tells me to put my feet up while he hoovers, etc!
I also had an issue a few weeks ago when I was just about to leave my house to go to one of my cleaning jobs when my 4 year old launched himself off his bed and hit his head hard on a book case! I had to let the lady I clean for know I wasn't coming as I had to take him to get checked even though she was expecting me to arrive any minute but she was very understanding and knows that my children take priority! And do you know what she said?? Don't worry I'll do it myself and see you next week!

Don't be such a snowflake, suck it up and get your big girl pants on !

Every mother on here who works understands that childcare shit happens, and it's no-ones fault.

How many people in this thread treat their cleaners like proper employees? So, sick leave, holiday pay, health & safety? No? Thought not.

But they aren't employees. They are self-employed people who can choose whether or not they go to work that day. Set their own rates. Work for a range of clients. I have a cleaner. I am the client. She is self-employed. That is how 99% of cleaning arrangements work.

Don't be such a snowflake, suck it up and get your big girl pants on

So you pay someone to perform a service, that person lets you down at very short notice and you're just supposed to shrug your shoulders and get on with it? There have been countless threads about joiners/plasterers/plumbers not turning up, or doing a shit job. But it's ok to have a moan about that because they're men?

What's blindingly clear from this thread is that some posters have a real issue with the idea of having a cleaner in the first place. A sort of moral judgement on those of us who do. newsflash - if everyone stopped having domestic cleaners working on a part time, self-emplyoed basis there would be a lot more people out of work.

ImogenTubbs:
Unfortunately, ad hoc staff such as cleaners are self-employed and as such are responsible for pay, health and safety, insurance, tax, national insurance, medical costs and all other requirements. They are not employed by the householder but merely contracted to them.

It really is a race to the bottom with the majority on this thread.

I'd let it go as a one off, but find someone else if it becomes a recurring thing. I had something similar with my cleaner, I tried to be understanding, but she let me down too many times and in the end it was stressing me out never knowing if she would turn up or not, so I found someone else.

Would a “good employer” be ok with their employee phoning in 10 minute before they were due in work to say “sorry my kid has fallen asleep so I won’t be in

Fuck no. I probably wouldn't sack them, but I'd definitely be pissed off and not be inclined to be flexible. Where does this assumption that womenmwith children should always be treated as special come from? Unless it is a genuine e,regency then if you're being paid to work then work.

BrooklynNoiceNoice

Women on the whole lose more than they gain materially, wages are lower and pensions..not to mention the toll on the body, so a bit of free dental care etc is nothing and medical care is free for everyone not just those who are pregnant. We would become extinct if we didn't have children, obviously!

All the issues you mentioned would need discussion and solutions and of course some cases are not a deliberate choice but some are and those people are often the ones complaining about paying for things such as education, they fail to see that if OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN didn't rack up huge student debt they wouldn't have doctors, solicitors engineers etc etc .Who then go on to pay pensions for those older than themselves. We are supposed to be a society. I have actually heard a childless woman complain about having to pick up workload as a mother was with her young child in hospital and they actually said, why does the mother need to be there as the young child is in hospital with nurses there!!!!! Making your inflammatory comments shows you have not thought objectively about this issue and by the way not everyone gets child benefit anymore. Keep up!!!

They are self-employed people who can choose whether or not they go to work that day

And if they cancel for spurious reasons (like a child falling asleep on a bus) at short notice - as a client I can choose to not employ them again. Their loss, not mine.

@amispeakingenglish there are no words to describe the vitriol that you are spouting towards women without children.

Note to self - must make sure I send a large amount of money to the tax man backdated to the day of my fourth miscarriage along with a massive apology to all the mothers for daring to live in this fucking society.

@amispeakingenglish - well as you made your (ridiculous) comments, I assumed you had thought them through obviously not.

When parents are so, so hateful towards childfree and childless people I assume it’s because they hate their own lives.

When childfree and childless people are so, so hateful towards parents I assume it’s because they hate their own lives.

I think some people on this thread need to do some self-reflection. Everyone has to make choices, if you made the wrong ones, you need to try and make peace with it, not behave in a terrible way towards the people who made the choices you wish you did.

Have you ever had clients tell you 'no need for you to come next week, we are on holiday... Oh what about you, are you taking any holidays this year?' 😤😤😤😠 and you don't say anything because you scared of losing your job if you do.

I was a single mum, pregnant and cleaning 8 ppls houses every week to make ends meet. The ppl who I cleaned for would often cancel my visit the night before not realising I was dependant on that cash. It swings both ways. Yes you can afford a cleaner, I've no problem with that, but without a contract, you have no hold over them should they cancel for whatever reason.

Quite apart from the fact that the op sounds spoilt, why did she post such a non problem on AIBU and then be outraged by people's opinions?

Use the time spent on here doing your housework..............

Leighhalfpennysthigh

BrooklynNoiceNoice

Hit a nerve did it? I have no animosity toward those who are childless at all, so its not vitriol, it is you who is interpreting it as that, not my words. My post is just an opinion, with a few facts, which we are all allowed to have, really don't see why you're getting in such a state over it, compared to some of the name calling on this post mine is not rude, it doesn't attack , no swearing and no name calling, so what is it then?? Maybe you should think about that and why you are so annoyed.

@amispeakingenglish - I’m ‘annoyed’ (though I would describe it as disgusted) because I have empathy for women who are infertile, have problems getting or staying pregnant, have lost babies and have had their children die. I don’t think they should be financially punished and looked down on and judged.

It hasn’t hit a nerve as I’ve never had fertility issues or lost a pregnancy or had my child die. I just think you and your views are despicable and you shouldn’t air those views on a website where women come for support when they are going through fertility problems or when they lose a child.

And I would assume @Leighhalfpennysthigh is ‘annoyed’ because she has been through four miscarriages and you think because of that she should pay ‘more tax’.

Erm, I think this is getting unnecessarily nasty now. And too personal.

I'd work as an animal artificial inseminator without gloves rather than work for Skittle
What an arse