Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

Termination is not legal in all parts of the UK. Also many women do not discover they are pregnant until after it is too late to terminate. Men should not rely on a women's legal right to abort.

@RolyWatts she's 3 months pregnant - she has time if she so wished.

Women shouldn't rely on rich men either but here we are.

roly but that's not the case here is it?

I am not saying that men should rely on it, but women DO have a choice. They are free to make that choice. They don't HAVE to become a single parent.

And as PP mentioned, you can give up a baby for adoption as another option should you so wish.

What im saying is, women have the choice. They don't have to be single mothers in situations like ops.

@plunkplunkfizz thank you. I hadn't heard of that act before. Definitely something I have to read more about!

And for sure he'll have already sought legal counsel to make sure he pays the maintenance and nothing else. He's already one step ahead of you.

If your partner said here's half the expenses but I'm doing fuck all else. What would your response be? But it's ok for single mothers to accept this

I’m a single
Mum whose ex is absent and doesn't pay, still think the op is being unreasonable she went into this knowing she would be a single parent, she made a choice, you can’t force someone to be a parent. At least this man WILL be paying!

£1273 from him + £1273 from you via whatever income you have is plenty to provide for a baby.

If your baby is entitled to more then you can always put in a claim for it.

I guess he dodged a bullet....

Anyway i hope he decides to go for 50/50 care then he doesn't have to pay a penny and op still needs to find a flat.

Men should not rely on a women's legal right to abort.

Women should not rely on the hope that if they were to fall pregnant and continue with the unplanned pregnancy, the father will voluntarily contribute more than he is legally required to.

You will still be eligible for Universal Credit & maintenance payments aren't taken into account. So it's a decent amount on top of benefits. Some single parents will get a fraction of that or possibly none. It's similar to my teaching salary & so I would say a decent contribution to your baby.

I work part time, have never received a penny in maintenance (works cash in hand out of country). 1300 is more than I have coming in and that's to pay everything and run a car. Take it and run fgs. You have to support the baby too, he's paying a damn sight more than most, more than a months wage on minimum wage. Stop being grabby and take responsibility for your decision too, he has. Maybe you have to out off studies or get a part time job. You will be entitled to 85% childcare back under uc I think.

There are a couple of things here, trying to study and live in London with a baby is beyond most people, single parents or in a couple so most people in your position would have to make a choice about where they are going to live and study. That's not because your super-rich ex isn't supporting you, its because it's stupid expensive. On the money he's offering and with the maintenance loans and subsidised child care you could live quite comfortably in other cities (with top class universities). Many universities even have "family" accommodation that it's worth looking into.
It is undoubtedly shitty that someone who could afford to pay more for his child isn't willing to do it but it doesn't sound like you'll get any more if you take him to court, and it doesn't sound like you could afford it anyway. In your position (if I decided against termination) I'd be looking at how to make it work with what I'd got. Good luck with the pregnancy

@Hanny3 maintenance aside, have you thought about what you will do with your degree once you have it?

Working as a trainee solicitor involves ridiculous hours, often for free, if you want to get anywhere in a firm. With a small baby and no family support it's going to be incredibly hard....

No and they don't. They, like many on this thread, accept and actively support men doing the very bare minimum.

Did you think the baby was your ticket to financial freedom. If so you're in for a rude awakening. 1200+ while not huge relative to his income, it is huge when taking into account costs for raising a child.

You need to forget your studies for now and focus on getting a job that will sustain you into and beyond the pregnancy. Studying at this moment is a luxury you can't afford

Sorry, ignore me. I thought I'd read you were studying law but I can't see where I've read that now!

Interesting that in almost 10 pages of comments, the only one that OP has replied to is the one comment that suggests how she may be able to get more money from this man.

I sincerely hope that, assuming this is all true, OP is continuing this pregnancy for the right reasons.

Wow what a lot of horrible responses here. Why not just answer the question? Why does the OP need personal jabs also. Bullying from behind the keyboard

Op please don't give up on your career. It won't be easy but find a way to make it work. Even if that means transferring out of London. Do your utmost to build a life for yourself and your child, despite him.

roly again, you cannot force someone to be a parent.

If you have a problem with the "bare minimum" start a petition against the CMS or something.

I’m still not sure how you being a student in London sheds any light.

I had DD when 17. No child support as her dad was at uni at the time. At uni (in central London) I managed on grant and benefits. It wasn’t a glamorous life and DD didn’t have her own bedroom but we made it through and now we are very comfortable.

Say you were going to UCL, there are plenty of studio and 1 bed flats in Camden (easy walk or bus) for under £1000 a month.

Some universities also have subsidised housing for parents.

On top of your £1270 a month you should get approx £1200 a month in maximum London maintenance loan and special support grant. You’ll also be eligible for a childcare support grant on top of this which you won’t have to pay back. Plus often universities have other grants available you can apply for once you’re there.

I’m not sure I’m seeing how this is so impossible?

Alternatively if you’re that worried you can always halt your studies for 2 years and then come back then - on a low income you’ll be entitled to free childcare hours from 2.

How many contact hours does your course have? Mine had roughly 30 as I was lab based so still not as much as full time working parents have to pay for. I believe mine was at the higher end too - the arts degrees students didn’t seem to have many at all.

Or I could talk about it on a parenting forum @bonjourfreddie. 🤷‍♀️

you could roly but it wont make a shit of difference because none of us can do anything about it...

No one should ever be expected to count themselves lucky that the NRP pays towards the financial upkeep of a shared child. It’s the bare minimum they should be doing really.

However OP, that’s a decent chunk (although it’s the minimum amount it seems so he doesn’t get a clap on the back from me and shouldn’t from anyone else either) and don’t forget, child support payments don’t have any bearing on claiming tax credits, housing benefit etc so if that’s still not enough (I don’t know your living arrangements so won’t assume either way) you can and should claim these if you are entitled.

As for taking him to court, I didn’t know that was an option tbh. Courts generally won’t get involved in this sort of thing unless a couple is married, splitting up and divvying up the martial assets as far as I’m aware.

Given you aren’t married I think it’s unlikely you would get more and he could make life really hard for you. So I would accept it. You may be able to get other help from the government such as student childcare grants to help. Also see if your uni has any family accommodation. Another option could be asking to go part time on your course and spread it over more years so you can support yourself more easily.

As for taking him to court, I didn’t know that was an option tbh. Courts generally won’t get involved in this sort of thing unless a couple is married, splitting up and divvying up the martial assets as far as I’m aware.

Agree with everything you've said. However, this is wrong. Courts do get involved even where couples are unmarried and in relation to a child's up keep. She does however have to pay for her own representation and as she is already struggling it would be a waste of funds as there are no guarantees that they will find for her.