Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

The fact that he’s rich and from a rich family is irrelevant . If he chooses to offer more money over the years then that’s entirely up to his goodwill . It’s good that he has offered what he has and others in here have checked the child support website and confirmed this is reasonable . I’m sorry you’re in this situation but it is what it is . Good luck with your degree and I hope it leads to a good career / job for you so you can support yourselves .

@bonjour she won't always be a jobless student. She will be a women who is in a better position to contribute equally financially.

For years 0-3 (degree course) the responsibilities look like this.

Mum ALL THE CARING RESPONSIBILITIES
Dad ALL THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

From then on

Mum ALL THE CARING RESPONSIBILITIES AND HALF THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES

Dad HALF THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES.

Can you not see that even what Op is asking for places her in a position that will ultimately mean she is contributing more.

**considering he didn't want the child, and op knew that, I think she has to accept that its on her to do everything for her child physically.

if she wasn't happy with that she shouldn't have continued with the pregnancy. You cant force someone to be involved. He is paying what he is being told to.**

^Completely agree with this. OP decided to continue with the pregnancy. She needs to take more responsibility

Please be aware that just because he will give you that amount now, does not mean he will always be rich and able to pay you or always willing to pay and not find a way to hide his money.

That sounds generous! Take it. You need to support your child too.

if they do not want to parent a child they should compensate the parent who is parenting the child not just provide the bare minimum

Two people make a decision equally (have sex).
An outcome occurs (pregnancy)

Two options are available: continue with pregnancy or terminate.
Only 1 person has the decision-making capacity.
Other person can influence by stating their ongoing involvement (hands-on or uninvolved) but not decide.

Why in this scenario then should the person who wished to NOT become a parent need to compensate the person who WANTED to become a parent?

They need to provide for their child (consequence of their initial decision to have sex), absolutely.
But they don't need to smooth out all the consequences of the decision on the other adult, as they did not take/agree with the decision that person made.

Morally, I think it's grey.

But regardless, in this particular situation I think the OP needs to know that high earners - particularly high earners who are reluctant fathers - can behave very badly indeed and sometimes the pragmatic thing to do is to play the long-game.

More responsibility than what? Walking away and chucking money over once a month. Well she's already doing what you want then eh?

£1273 is considered Dad's share of the financial responsibility regardless of OP's employment situation. He can't pay less because OP is earning more can he?

0-2 years Dad pays £1273
Mum pays £0
Taxpayers pay subsidised childcare, child benefit etc

2 years+. Dad pays £1273
Mum pays £1273

Is this post for real? It's disgraceful that you think for one moment that this guy should support your student venture. Have you always been avaricious? He doesn't want anything to do with the child, but is willing to pay for him/her. Count your blessings and concentrate on loving your child.

roly financial responsibilities for that, though?

because £1200 a month will easily bring up a child

he has no responsibility to house or pay for OP.

OP is a grown adult, capable of making her own decisions.

He is contributing TO THE CHILD.

Op is looking after the child FT because she wanted to carry on with the pregnancy knowing she would be a single parent.

you cant then say oh but PAY ME FOR MY WORK

doesn't work like that.

if you have a child knowing you'll be a single parent then you have to deal with it im afraid.

His money is to support his child, not to put you through uni. Seems like quite a reasonable offer that he is making, really.

If you can't afford to live in London, move out of London.
If you can't afford to study in London, apply elsewhere.
If you can't afford a baby, don't have a baby.

What would you do if his family business suddenly went bump and he's no longer working?
You're choosing to have a baby, you need to bring that baby up properly, yourself.

You sure knew what you were doing OP

Not that I have any sympathy for him. He clearly rolled the dice and now has to contribute 50% to the cost of raising a child. Not the child plus you.

I'm just curious what you would have done had he been poor, lesser paid or had lost his job in the mean time.
Taken more reliable contraception, termination or not even slept with him in the first place.
He knows his rights, and will pay accordingly. He seems to be a smart man so maybe accept the figure and not rock the boat.
Baby is now your priority, not studies...and thinking of the above.. it is up to you to contribute to your babies upbringing.. just as you would have to do if he learnt less...

if they do not want to parent a child they should compensate the parent who is parenting the child not just provide the bare minimum

We have a system where CMS have calculated a sliding scale of money according to what percentage the NRP does practically. It's not going to cover cleaners etc in most cases but unless your the Duchess of Cambridge or something, you'd be doing cleaning and washing as that's what adults and parents do for free. Parents are supposed to sit and do homework, wash uniform etc for free

OP would have been in a stronger position if she was married but she's not so can only expect the CMS amount.

q

The decision about parenthood happens at the point of conception. Many women have no choices beyond that moment.

if you have a child knowing you'll be a single parent then you have to deal with it im afraid my argument is that if you have a child knowing you'll be an absent parent then you have to pay for it I'm afraid.

Parents are supposed to sit and do homework, wash uniform etc for free yes they are. He isn't doing it. Leaving her to do it all.

For those of you in relationships and who have children. Do you live in households where you work full time and do all of the house work, do all of the child care, do all of the school stuff, all of the shopping, all of the cooking, all of the emotional support. If your partner said here's half the expenses but I'm doing fuck all else. What would your response be? But it's ok for single mothers to accept this.

The decision about parenthood happens at the point of conception. Many women have no choices beyond that moment

Women in this country do, which is what we're specifically talking about.

if you have a child knowing you'll be an absent parent then you have to pay for it I'm afraid

yes, and he is. What more do you expect? for him to pay for OP as if she were his child and his responsibility? She isn't.

For those of you in relationships and who have children. Do you live in households where you work full time and do all of the house work, do all of the child care, do all of the school stuff, all of the shopping, all of the cooking, all of the emotional support. If your partner said here's half the expenses but I'm doing fuck all else. What would your response be? But it's ok for single mothers to accept this

this is entirely different, as well you know. I live in a household with dp and ds, we chose together to have a baby. Consequently we share all responsibilities. If he said here's half the expenses but I'm doing fuck all else, that would change the dynamic and we'd no longer be a family. He would move out and contribute financially. Just like ops ex is doing.

They're not a family. They will never be a family, and so op cannot expect for them to operate as one. She knew this when she chose to continue the pregnancy.

@Hanny3 Speak to a realistic solicitor before you do anything else. The Children's Act doesn't seem overly relevant here... I can't find any precedent for your situation, although I've only glanced.

Very careful that you don't piss him off, because as wrong as it is, it's very easy to start hiding money so he only has to pay you peanuts.

Also, he doesn’t have to give you a brown penny until the baby arrives. You have (hopefully) 6 months to buy the bare essentials for your baby.
Can you do that without his money?

if you have a child knowing you'll be an absent parent then you have to pay for it I'm afraid

He is paying. For his child. But he's not obliged to pay for the impact the OP's choice to become a single parent will have on her life.

OP didn't have to be a single parent, she had a choice and she decided to continue with it.

Some single parents start off with involved partners who then fuck off and don't contribute even financially, that's worse and those are the women I feel for, but even then do I think they should get extra maintenance for washing the dishes? no.

I think you are having a laugh! If you choose to be a single parent there will be benefits you can get to help I am sure but asking him to support you further is just unreasonable. I get £215 a month from my ex. I would think I had died and gone to heaven if he ever contributed more!

Jesus Christ on a bike... I live off £1500 a month with two children (that's including maintenance) and I rent and work part time.

What the fuck even is this thread.

Two options are available: continue with pregnancy or terminate.

Slightly off topic, and I'm absolutely NOT suggesting anything, it's just I can't help wanting to point out that for anyone there's actually a third option: adoption.

Not saying it's easy or it's what anyone should do. I just hate it when people are presented with keep or abort - with no mention of this other choice.

As for OP, it's a reasonable amount of child maintenance he's offering. Bear in mind that family money isn't guaranteed. He could fall out with his father tomorrow. Shame for the child that he doesn't want to know.