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Original poster

Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:20

The very first post by the OP states he doesn’t anything to do with the child

For now....

Ilikethisone · 05/09/2019 18:21

@Bonjourfreddie as a single parent, if was her I would accept the money and talk about how he can provide practical support as well.

Better for the child to have 2 involved parents. And better for OP, so she can finish uni and het her career off the ground. Far better for her AND the child.

I say that as a single parent. The fact that I am a high ish earner, made being a single parent infinitely easier.

CandyLeBonBon · 05/09/2019 18:22

Ah is it only women who need to manage contraception then?

pallisers · 05/09/2019 18:22

Plus- the child will not know their father and so will not be aware of any disparity.

The child will not know their father but he will know who his father is, what he does, and where he lives - or is the mother supposed to hide this from her child? He most likely will eventually realise that his father has married or had other children whom he does see/mind/spend more money on.

I must say I wouldn't continue a pregnancy in this situation - but that is me. That a woman should be grateful for doing 100 percent of the child rearing and getting the legal minimum is odd. What is weirder is the people saying "you'll get free childcare/child credits etc". The father of the child is very well off but people think it ok that tax payers pay for his child? How is that considered ok?

Ilikethisone · 05/09/2019 18:25

The very first post by the OP states he doesn’t anything to do with the child.

Thank you. I read it 3 times and missed it. It's been a long day.

But he could change his mind. Many men do, when they realise it could reduce maintenance.

And he has the money to pay for a good legal team.

Genderfree · 05/09/2019 18:26

“Mine however is fine thanks and I will raise my daughter to be more sensible when it comes to contraception and men”

Well Jesse I’ve raised my son to understand if he has sex and she gets pregnant that he is morally obliged to provide for his child to the best of his ability, not pay the minimum he can get away with or walk away like a piece of scum.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:26

The father of the child is very well off but people think it ok that tax payers pay for his child? How is that considered ok

Because hes paying his contribution. Op cant pay hers because shes a poor student. Its not up to him to subsidise her choices.

Justgorgeous · 05/09/2019 18:27

Speaking from personal experience it is very difficult to get ‘court top ups’ especially if the person in question is self-employed and very clever at hiding money; putting assets in family names and off-shore accounts. The best thing you can do is forge the best relationship you can with him and take things slowly, maybe negotiate up to £1,500 plus half of items you need. I presume if he wants nothing to do with the baby he wants nothing to do with you ?

pikapikachu · 05/09/2019 18:27

The father of the child is very well off but people think it ok that tax payers pay for his child? How is that considered ok?

The parents of the child haven't entered into a financial union.

sue51 · 05/09/2019 18:28

Student lone parents do not receive universal credit as their maintenance loans are seen as income.

Genderfree · 05/09/2019 18:29

CandyLeBonBon

  • “Ah is it only women who need to manage contraception then?”

Quite.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:30

genderfree well we have no idea who used what in this situation do we Hmm

fluffyjumper · 05/09/2019 18:32

Can you not request to transfer to another uni to finish your studies. Somewhere cheaper. I also think that you need to contribute to your childs costs. I get the sense you feel entitled to more money from him. Could you not go to the council and say you cant afford somewhere to live. They wont leave you homeless, even if it's a b&b it's something. You want to carry on your studies you need to make sacrifices.

sue51 · 05/09/2019 18:34

Also childcare allowance is 80% of the cost of nursery, you still have to find the rest. My daughter was recently a student loan parent and she struggled financially. I have only recently found out that she had a werk when she couldn't afford both food and sanpro and was too fiercly proud to tell me.

pallisers · 05/09/2019 18:35

The parents of the child haven't entered into a financial union.

A child needs to be supported. The first people liable for this should be his parents. Do you honestly think it is ok for a wealthy parent to pay half the costs and the poor parent to rely on the state to pay his/her half? Shouldn't that state support be for children who don't have any parent solvent enough to pay for them.

Ilikethisone · 05/09/2019 18:36

The first people liable for this should be his parents

Yes parents. That includes op

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:39

Do you honestly think it is ok for a wealthy parent to pay half the costs and the poor parent to rely on the state to pay his/her half?

No i think op should get a job but failing that yes its not down to her rich ex to subsidise her.

Rules like that would be an incentive for people to stay at home and sit on their arses on both sides.

Genderfree · 05/09/2019 18:41

Bonjourfreddie

“gender free well we have no idea who used what in this situation do we”

No we don’t but so what.

If a man has sex with a women of child bearing age, pregnancy is the risk he takes. He can reduce the risk by using contraception himself, rather than just relying on her, but should realise that this can fail and he has responsibilities. It isn’t rocket science.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:41

but should realise that this can fail and he has responsibilities

Yep and hes paying maintenance...... so?

nononever · 05/09/2019 18:42

The parents of the child haven't entered into a financial union.

There is no child and there won't be for another 6 months. The financial agreement is hypothetical right now.

Justgorgeous · 05/09/2019 18:43

@QueenFuri. Just noticed your comment. You are clearly bitter that you had children with a complete prick that thinks £12.50 is all his children deserve. That amount is not fine, it’s a disgrace. Maybe the OP doesn’t live by your particularly low standards. Calling her a Goldigger is a low blow.

Genderfree · 05/09/2019 18:45

What he pays towards his child should be equal to his ability. He’s on a good salary and the amount should reflect that.

I’ll say it again op is going to university, I’d hardly call that lazy.

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:45

I’ll say it again op is going to university, I’d hardly call that lazy

You've not met many students then Grin

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 18:46

Id say the amount does reflect that. It doesnt cost over 2400 a month to raise a child.

RolyWatts · 05/09/2019 18:48

good luck with that.

It would be good though wouldn't it. 🤣 All those low life's who contribute nothing, sweeping the streets or fixing the roads.

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