Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

@Sotiredofthislife

The research would suggest that yes, better a child knows a poor parent than not know them at all.

Do you have links to that? I’m really intrigued. Completely serious, not being facetious.

I think people would have been totally sympathetic if the OP had been left in the lurch by a proper boyfriend or dh. As it is, this sounds like a blatant attempt at a "career". Would the OP have been so keen to have a baby/accidentally fall pregnant if the man had been a supermarket shelf stacker? I feel sorry for the child in this scenario as the father may not want it, but the mother wants it as a get out of working option.

Quite ironic Goldigger has came on the radio as I opened this.... I have 2 DC and get 12.50 a week for my 13 and 9 year old 6 you'll do find on the suggested amount.

Jesse if he didn’t want a baby and the expense of a baby he should have kept it in his pants. If a man has sex he has to accept it may end up with a pregnancy and that the woman has every right to decide what happens to her body. If she decides to have the baby, he should be financially liable. It’s about time the law was tightened up.

@queenfuri 12.50 barely buys milk and bread for two kids.
You may do fine on it but that’s a disgraceful amount of money so why the fuck are you calling other women expecting more golddiggers?
God I’m angry on your behalf!
Why are you so reluctant to stand up for change that would benefit you?

If this thread is legit, I think both the title and the post were badly worded and that is what makes OP sound like a "money grabber". I know when I read it I had visions of her family and friends saying "milk him for all he's got". And everyone seeing £££ signs flashing before their eyes! This may not be the case, but the OP hasn't added anything later to make herself look any better. I think people would have had a lot more sympathy if it had been worded differently, or at least she wouldn't have been so attacked.

£320,000 gross a year is £15,000 a month after tax assuming no student loan repayments. The state takes £140,000 a year in tax.

zxcvhjkl

I get exactly what you mean and I have toyed with the idea. As it adds up to £364 a year I thought it could go into the savings pot but at the same time I would rather have nothing from him as he has cut them out of his life anyway. I can just seem him going around telling everyone he pays for them and I don't let him see them that's the type of person he is! Although I would hope anyone with any sense wouldn't believe a word that he says. I know that I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face but while he's refusing to be a part of my children's life I would rather have nothing from him even the pittance I am entitled to. Especially as it won't make a dent in his pocket as he works cash in hand

those of us who have endured shit, none caring parents would disagree. I wish i'd never known my dad at all. It would have been less disappointing and emotionally traumatising, tbh

Yep. I can understand that. However, it seems to be the case that long term outcomes for children are better if they know what a disappointment their parents are than when they don’t. I guess the trauma of abandonment is the alternative, that and the living with some kind of made-up fairy tale amazing parent in your head. I did huge amounts of reading when I divorced and this is certainly a recurring theme. We have some kind of psychological programming that needs us to know where we came from - possibly why so many people who have been adopted, despite happy upbringing, seek out their birth parents? So for children of divorce, knowing the parent, even if disappointing, is better than them disappearing. Sucks.

That's literally what my dp brings home from his full time job. Which is the majority of our whole family income.

If what he has offered to pay is what he is obliged to pay by law then you are being totally unreasonable to expect him to pay more.it is both parents responsibility to contribute financially to the upbringing of a child, not just the responsibility of the one with more money and it is absolutely not his responsibility to support you while you study. It was your decision to study and also your decision to have the child, when making theses decisions the financial side of things should have been taken in to account. If you cannot afford to study and raise a child then stop studying and get a full time job. Educational instituations are not going to disappear overnight and you will be able to study again later when you are in a better financial position.

Genderfree

We don't know the circumstances contraception etc
Women always have a choice men don't in this situation
As a woman I would want the dad to want to have a baby
If he didn't I would not expect anything from him
The fact he is offered to give her the legal requirement
Why should he have to give her any more?
Do u think that's fair ?
It's bullshit she's using the kid as a way to get money
That's not right !
U know everyone goes on about equality but only when it suits
For all we know it could have been a one night stand and she said she was on the pill
Actually what of contraception had failed would he have gotten more of a say then?

IrmaFayLear

• “I think people would have been totally sympathetic if the OP had been left in the lurch by a proper boyfriend or dh. As it is, this sounds like a blatant attempt at a "career". Would the OP have been so keen to have a baby/accidentally fall pregnant if the man had been a supermarket shelf stacker? I feel sorry for the child in this scenario as the father may not want it, but the mother wants it as a get out of working option”

How do you know he wasn’t a proper boyfriend as the OP hasn’t clarified. As you the OP only wanting the baby so she doesn’t have to work, presumably she going to uni to improve her job prospects.

I wonder what people who claim that this amount is an absolute fortune are paying in childcare costs. Where I am, a full time place for under 1 is unlikely to be cheaper than £1.8K / month.

Looking after a baby IS work though.
Pretty full on work.
If you don’t do it somebody else has to .

my mom (says) if I take it to court I will get more per month

AHA!! There is a grabby gene.

@RolyWatts

You sound like you're coming from a somewhat pro-life perspective?

I think it is reasonable for a man to opt out of being a parent if they explicitly tell the woman they do not want to be involved from the offset, when she still has the option to terminate. I don't believe it says anything negative or "scummy" about a person to not automatically want to be a parent after an unplanned pregnancy. Him not wanting any involvement is surely no worse than a woman who doesn't want to be a parent so has an abortion, or someone who puts their baby up for adoption that COULD look after them, but just doesn't want to.

If these are all things you oppose that is your opinion, but there are many different ways in which parents can and do decide not to be involved in a child's life, it is a widely accepted part of our society.

Personally I think men get a pretty raw end of the deal in cases where the child was unplanned and unwanted given that they don't get the choice to opt out of financial responsibility to the child that the woman gets through abortion or adoption - if the woman decides she wants to keep a baby in an unplanned pregnancy, even if they don't, they have to pay.

Sadly this is necessary or else we would end up with a load of single parents who can't afford to adequately look after their child. But this man is providing more than enough for this baby that he does not want and had no choice but to keep, and yet will still forever be judged and hounded for more than they need because he happens to have it.

It just doesn't seem right.

I'm interested to know why the very few people on 16 pages' worth of posts think that this isn't a Schedule 1 Children's Act situation? It seems on bare facts to be precisely the type of situation it's intended to cover - where it is not in the child's interest for there to be such a substantial disparity in parental incomes. I'm aware of a number of instances where housing awards have been made for purchase of suitable London property while child is dependent (though mostly on substantially higher earnings than this guy's c.£300k). A one off payment awarded under Sch 1 would mean that the child is at least housed if the grandfather decides to sack his son for financial expediency eg (she'll still have to pay for upkeep of said property though and not be able to sell it)

Do you have the money for court/legal fees.

I know someone who has spent £80k on Legal’s in the last year, their ex partner is running a similar total.

All over maintenance.

You probably don’t stand a chance in court tbh.
The man , if he has this much money will be able to find an accountant that can cleverly fiddle everything. I’d bet that ex’s daddy can’t believe his own kids stupidity at boasting about his massive wages.
I’d still love to know which field he works in? Roughly!

I hate all this “I get £5 a week for 4 kids”. I get nothing, doesn’t mean a very wealthy man should get out of providing well for his children, in proportion to his income. It’s like saying footballers should pay £20 because that’s what labourer Dave pays for his kids. I wouldn’t bedgrudge putting 1/15th of my salary towards my DC no matter how much I earned.

Jesse I don’t really care if it was a one night stand. What I say still stands. Your argument is something an MRA would spout.

Exactly @namechange55
What else is the point of working for a mega income if you can’t support your own children adequately?

I wonder what the advice would be had there been a quick marriage here and the op was in fact married. And then he turned out to be a dick who didn’t want his child .

At the end of the day, there's are A LOT of non resident parents out there NOT PAYING what they should, because THE SYSTEM is flawed. I was having this very conversation with a friend today. Both of us have high earning exes. Both of them are choosing not to pay what they should. It's revolting. But going to court is more than either of us can stomach because of the up front costs. Until the cms and legal system acknowledges that absent parents who deliberately avoid paying maintenance in this way are being negligent in their responsibilities, nothing will change.