Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

YABVVVU and grabby! Of course you won’t be able to claim more! Why would he have to pay more just so you don’t have to make literally any sacrifices or get a part time job? You’re SO lucky to be getting what you’re getting. You know it’s your baby too, right? If you can’t take care of the baby and also study then you’ll have to put your education on hold until you’re in a position where you can. Having a child means making sacrifices! You can’t expect your ex to fund you to have an easy luxurious life. You also need to contribute!

Depends. Morally I am not sure it's fair he pays more but I have to pay 5 lots of school and university fees - it's in our divorce order - whoever our childrenl ive with - sothat's £50k + or when we had full time childcare as I work full time I was paying £30k a year for that alone (I am female).

What? He is paying a good amount towards his child... he's not supposed to be supporting you as well.

That amount of maintenance is my wage.. in central London, working a 50 hour week

I doubt this is real, but if it is, take the money OP.

Honestly, he could pack in his job with the family and claim to be unemployed and pay you nothing. He could still reap the benefit of having a rich family support him but with no actual income/payslip - you'd be entitled to nothing at all. Take what he's offering and be happy knowing you'll be getting a lot more than most will ever dream of.

@LIVVI1234 CMS only assess on a maximum of 2.5 or 3k a week (I can’t remember which) so he if earns 15k a month after tax then she would very likely be entitled to more. Cases like this go to court and they decide on the amount over and above the CMS amount. Removing any should/should not etc from it that is the law, she would be entitled to more from a court decision.

I should have added that I’m studying in London and need to get my own place. I now live in a shared house. As everyone knows rent in London is very high. So i don’t see how I could manage to do that without getting a part time job. I don’t have any family who lives close to London, so I would need childcare when working. I know I get support for childcare, but that would need to be used for childcare during the day. So working would be pointless since i would have to pay for childcare

Well...babies are life changing. You can’t just expect the baby to arrive without any inconvenience or incurring additional expense! You have well over a grand a month coming your way - unlike many single mothers - and if that’s not enough to cover your rent in London because you are a student then you’ll need to put your studies on hold and work.

I’m genuinely amazed that you seem to think he should be paying enough to cover a flat in London and for you not to work so you can have childcare and study. Or have I misunderstood?

You sound grabby af! He’s under no obligation to support you and you’re not personally entitled to anything. Take some responsibility for yourself and your child. His offer is beyond generous.

When I looked into going to university 3 years ago, as a single parent I would get my full rent paid for by housing benefit (UC now) plus a student loan, maintenance grant, childcare grant, child tax credits and child benefit. Assuming things haven't changed you will get help towards your rent. Although I know things may be different now with UC.

Another one here from the £7 a week club! Take the money OP and stop being ridiculous.

You should consider making an application under Schedule 1 of the Children Act. If he is as wealthy as you believe he may be ordered to provide a home for you and the child to live in. But you won’t own it. And it will revert to him once the child grows up.

The maintenance level sounds about right.

@AE18 no contraceptive is 100% effective. The minute he orgasmed into a woman's vagina was the moment he decided that having a baby was a possibility for him.

I just think when all is said and done, contributing less than 10pc of your net pay towards a child, is shit.

A child can have a great life on £1500 (10% of £15k per month) and had the parents been in a marriage would presumably benefit from inheritances from grandparents etc on top

With 2 parents contributing £1.5k each, the child would have an even better quality of life.

Just because you earn £15k per month doesn't mean you have to spend say half your wages on your child. It's perfectly fine to save 80%, spend 10% on the child and 10% on expenses.

Had the parents been in a marriage, OP might have been able to negotiate extras like private education but being unmarried leaves her with limited choices.

Why are some posters suggesting her to get legal advice to get more out her ex that she wasn’t married to?? When people claim benefits there is no actual system in which they check for maintenance payments so in theory she could not declare all that money going into a separate account and be entitled to claim housing benefit, free council tax being a student and her child tax credits, it seems as if OP is money grabby so probably wouldn’t put that past her to do that lol and people are suggesting she tries to get more money out of him. I actually feel a bit sorry for the bloke, he could just say he earns nothing, which a decent account would probably say to him to avoid his cms bill!!

Oh get lost @RolyWatts

He's accepted his part and is offering a lot of maintenance for a child he wants nothing to do with. He called be making things a lot more difficult but he's taking responsibility.

It takes two and that decision is at consensual sex. If he doesn't want to be involved fine but he needs to as the legal minimum
But that IS what he is doing!
He's agreed to pay what he should as per CMS.
Do people not read TFT?????

Jesus. Thats what our single-income family of 5 earn a month after tax!!! And you think that isnt enough CHILD SUPPORT?? Consider yourself lucky, most don't get anywhere near that and you're getting a full-time minimum wage jobs worth there...

@RolyWatts yep, knew that would be the response I'd get 🙄 🙄🙄

Yes, that is why he has offered to pay what he has.

To suggest that he should morally pay more even if they had an agreement about contraception, which is all any of us can do, and also said he would prefer a termination, lays far too much blame on him for the situation.

Yes he had sex. So did she. And she had a choice whether to keep the baby afterwards and chose to do so. He did not mislead her about his intentions to be involved so she did so knowing he would not be there for her beyond the payment he's offered.

If he didn't use contraception or check if she was it would be as much his responsibility as hers, but if he did, I really don't think it is.

it seems as if OP is money grabby

Agreed, honestly my first thought was she got pregnant by "accident" after finding out his wages...

What would you be doing for money if you weren't pregnant, OP?

That's more than I get for three children op. And I'm at university AND I work.

Apart from anything else cms will only calculate up to a maximum income (of £100k or something???) after which you have to go through court.

You can perfectly manage on that unless you have a ridiculously expensive lifestyle in which case perhaps you need to re-evaluate?

OP you do realise he could quit work?

Become unable to work, dur to illness or disability? Change jobs? Decide to take a break from work and live on savings?

Less scrupulous people, may sli8p the country. Speak to their dad and arrange to earn less 'on paper', science he works for his dad. Theres loads of reasons, its mor a good idea to rely on this money.

Also, doesnt matter if you want to live and study in London. That's down to you, not him.

He needs to provide for the child. Not to help you finish studying or live somewhere different.

Why are some posters suggesting her to get legal advice to get more out her ex that she wasn’t married to??

Because the law is that when someone earns more than the CMS assessment level the case can be taken to court for them to assess if there should be a top up of the maintenance in account with the income earned.

When people claim benefits there is no actual system in which they check for maintenance payments so in theory she could not declare all that money going into a separate account and be entitled to claim housing benefit, free council tax being a student and her child tax credits

Completely irrelevant. There's no system in place because maintenance is not declarable for benefits.

And the primary reason it's not declarable for benefits is that CMS is shit and as soon as a NRP starts fucking around the chances of getting anything are tiny.

it seems as if OP is money grabby so probably wouldn’t put that past her to do that lol

And she wouldn't be doing anything different to anyone else who claims housing benefit or tax credits whilst getting maintenance

I actually feel a bit sorry for the bloke, he could just say he earns nothing, which a decent account would probably say to him to avoid his cms bill!!

Lets not feel too sorry for him - he's already threatened to hide his income to reduce maintenance so he's far from perfect, and his offer is being made on the basis that the OP not apply for what would be legally payable on his whole income if she applied for it in the right place.

Dn worked in a hotel in London, the bar of which was a haunt of a premiership football team. There were literally lines of women hustling to get in to meet these men. The footballers were after a shag; a lot of the women were after a pregnancy. Ker-ching!

OP I found out I was pregnant living in London, at university with no family for 200 miles and no maintenance. I went part time on my degree and worked full time- was it tough, fuck yes!!

I know most people are not going to agree but the best advice I can give you is MAKE SURE YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR CHILD WITHOUT HIM. He may lose his job, decide to travel for 10 years, get sick, whatever it is....

Financially I'm in a much better position (high earner bracket) and although I love my DD and she is my world if I knew how hard it would be I'm not sure I would have had her.

Back to your question, I wouldn't take him to court, he's being very fair. He is supposed to pay 50% towards his child and you the other 50% (are you putting £1200 towards your child?). He may pay for extras along the way. If you go to court, I imagine he will become self employed so you get £0 and it will be expensive for you. You need to work with him for 18 years at least, don't start off on the wrong footing. If he and his family see you as a goldigger you may be putting your child in a worse position in the long term.