Hmm, where to begin? I genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable here so would appreciate the feedback.
The short version is this...I have moved to a whole new part of the UK with my partner and my teenager. Teenager settling in fine, phew. Me, not so much but willing to stick it out.
We moved because of my partner's job. I gave up my business and income to move which was really tough as I'd put my heart and soul into it, but he earns a lot more than me so it made practical sense. I do feel some resentment about that, which I felt I could get over, but it's being fuelled by recent discussions.
We have only recently started sharing finances. We are both divorced and have maintained ourselves independently until now. I am not currently working, am setting up the house and getting everyone else settled, teenager into a new school, unpacking and generally making everyone else's life easier.
We have been here less than a fortnight and DP has started banging on about me contributing to the household by a set amount each month (albeit not much, just a few hundred, but a few hundred I don't have coming in) and also getting back to work.
This is grating and upsetting on a number of levels.
A) I had a perfectly good full time self employed business where I was which I gave up to support his career and not live apart. I was completely financially independent for years! I feel he's making it sound like I'm living off him, which in turn makes me feel crap.
B) I still own a property where we lived and am solely responsible for paying the continuing bills there, so am already spending savings on that. The plan is to return there for holidays etc. He doesn't contribute to its upkeep, that's all on me.
C) He has started going on about how we need the money and I need to be out working. I feel like he resents paying for me and my child. He earns 6 figures. He does have a costly outgoing as he (admirably) supports 2 children from his previous marriage (one is an adult so continuing to support his ex wife for that child is in my opinion ridiculous, but that's not worth an argument as bringing that up never ends well). I understand there is a lot of money going out, but some of that is his choice and I feel like while he doesn't mind spending on his kids, he somehow does mind spending it on our own family.
I'm really quite upset about this in the light that I've personally lost over £2k a month because of this move and now he's going on and on about pimping me back out to the labour market.
The thing is, I want to set up again here in time, I DO want to be working and out meeting people, I just didn't expect him to be so focused on getting me back out there, not to mention asking me to contribute hundreds of my savings a month when I'm not earning.
Am I right to feel like this is off, or should I be out there getting a job immediately? I'm very confused by his attitude and it's not helping with my homesickness.