AIBU to make ds13 go to a private school?

[Hsaansnsn6776]

Dp has had an increased salary which now means we can send dc to private schools. Dd is going into year 11 so obviously can’t move her however, if she wants to move come next year we have let her known that option is available. But anyway, we have offered ds the chance to go to private school. He was um about it the whole time and the school have agreed taster days for the first 3 days of September but ds is refusing to go. He is quite lazy, doesn’t get into trouble but does absolute basics. He should achieve well, particularly in certain subjects but currently is not on track so we hope that he would be able to achieve higher if he was to move. He also does no extra curricular activities out of or in school so we hope this would be changed.
Anyway, back to the point, he is refusing to go and we can’t seem to change this.
AIBU to (try as much as possible) make him go and any advice for trying to persuade him? Thanks

Seriously, you’re a fully grown adult throwing sly comments on a parenting page!

What sly comments? If you don't agree with my opinion then fair enough but there is no throwing of sly comments fgs.

didn’t ask for advice on keeping him at his current school, I asked for advice on persuading him to move and if it was right.

I think you will find the first part is very much connected to the second and that asking a question about one will naturally bring about comments about the other.

It's not done to have a go, it's a natural track in the discussion.

I would spend the money on tutors and extra activties out of school. It will be alot more cost effective. What are interests? You can go on trips and special outings.

I meant his interests.

I do laugh reading threads like this and wonder why the fuck the op actually asked for opinions

Your DH must have got a HUGE payrise if you can gonfromm no kids in independent schools to two, one of them being a sixth former....

I hope you have done your sums properly and can afford 2 X green plus all the extras that come with independent schools. (Expensive uniforms, trips, music/speech and drama/coaching lessons, paid activities, exam fees)

And that's assuming the school has meals and text books included...

Oh, plus the possibility of direct into sixth form levy they often have!

@00100001
The pay rise isn’t actually big, it’s minimal and we always could’ve payed for private school but combined with us having payed off our mortgage etc we now feel confident in being able to do this. Not that it’s related to the thread, the advice I was asking for or your business!

Jesus OP

Calm down dear...

You'd clearly already made up your mind to send your boy school he doesn't want to go to in an attempt to somehow magically solve his Xbox addiction.

Good luck with that. You clearly don't want to listen to anyone who questions you...so why fucking bother posting in AIBU in the first place?

I haven't rtft so I'm not sure why the op is now getting such a hard time...

OP I am going to share my experience, when I was about to go to secondary my parents mooted the idea of me going to private school, as an idea. I had had a lot of disruption to my education, moved schools and finally had a set of friends that were going to the same state secondary school as me and I didn't want to start all over again so was not keen on it.

They didn't push it and I ended up going to a really shit secondary school which really affected my self confidence and grades (I did much better at a different sixth form college and uni than my gcses would have predicted).

I actually feel quite resentful towards my parents for not pushing private school more and really making the decision to send me there on my behalf. I was 11,i didn't know how the world worked, the opportunities it would open, it was just scary and unfamiliar to me so I rejected it.

It's natural for your son to not want to move but I think you have to get him to go to the open days, to see the facilities it offers. Are there any sports or interests you could plug that the school offers? Can you talk to the school about the issue and see if they'll buddy him with a nice kind peer?

Get him to go to the open days and then go from there. The school will want your fees so hopefully will make those days as good as possible for him.

YANBU to insist that he goes to the Taster Days so that he can make an informed decision.

However, YABU to think that an expensive school will change his ‘obsession with the XBox’ - this is called parenting.

@MoonageDaydreamz thank you for your advice and your story!

@00100001 not sure when I gave the impression that I was not calm. I have taken certain posters advice on, however the advice I have been receiving has not been encouraging nor always helpful but thanks to those who’ve helped.