To not speak to my husband over Brexit!

[telvg]

So does anyone virtually want a divorce because their partner agrees with No Deal? I feel like telling my husband, when we have no money and food prices are sky high, or if someone we know can’t get medicine they need, that it’s his fault for supporting Brexit and No Deal. I don’t understand why people are so short sighted and can’t see the bigger picture. Everyone my age (mid 40s) and younger, who went to University, is anti Brexit, or at least anti No Deal. Even the most staunch, Middle Class over 60s, don’t support No Deal. The only ones who do, appear to be uneducated, ignorant or racist, homophonic, sexist etc type people. So why does my husband agree with it? I feel he’s not the man I married. So am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

People are allowed different views and opinions, yes even if they are married to you

Of course. People are also allowed to decide what opinions are so fundamentally different from their own that it makes a couple no longer compatible.

@JacquesHammer so it's acceptable to split up a family, potentially including children over it? My view (yes it differs to yours) is that's madness and not thinking if the bigger picture.

@Littletabbyocelot

But how do your remain morals align with this?

www.spiegel.de/international/europe/following-the-path-of-the-paris-terror-weapons-a-1083461.html

Where did the weapons used in the 2015 terror attacks in Paris come from? Files from the ongoing investigation now make it possible to follow the trail. Years of EU shortcomings helped the firearms on their way.

The first day was May 21, 2008, the day the European Union announced it was planning to push through stricter rules pertaining to assault rifles

But then nothing happened -- for six years and 233 days. Worse yet, blank-firing guns and other so-called alarm weapons weren't included in the proposed regulations

s early as 2013, though, Slovakian police had warned Europe how easy it was to reactivate such modified weapons so that they could once again exert deadly force. The EU knew about it, talked about it and recognized the danger. But did nothing

In total, Islamists wielding firearms killed 150 people and wounded 400 in Western Europe in 2015

As the attacks in Brussels on Tuesday have once again made clear, Europe and the Europeans have lost their sense of security: The hope that they could keep terror at bay has been exposed as an illusion. The symbol for this lack of security is the illegal weapons market -- a market that the authorities do not have under control

And of course the "phenomenon" of sex slavery etc exploited by criminals using open borders.

• thinking of the bigger picture that should be.

so it's acceptable to split up a family, potentially including children over it? My view (yes it differs to yours) is that's madness and not thinking if the bigger picture

Of course. But then I don’t see a marriage ending including children as a particularly big deal if it’s handled well.

@JacquesHammer bloody hell. I have nothing more to say.

You sound incredibly bigoted, and not actually that bright (as is anybody unwilling to accept the opinions and thought processes of others).

This.

It's fine that people hold different views, but when my ex voted leave and I voted remain, it brought into focus that he is a racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic arsehole to a degree I'd never seen before from him. Another reason to leave him.

The thing is, of course it’s acceptable to vote however you want.

However if the reasons behind the vote are fundamentally at odds with your own, it isn’t hard to see why one would want to distance oneself from the holder of said views!

TM’s WA is a BINO though. And was seen to be such. That is why it failed. Instead of trying to create a proper clean Brexit she tried to fudge it, instead of collaborating for our future, many of those in power have wasted their energies trying to overturn Brexit entirely. That is why we may well leave without any kind of deal and that is why we are possibly less prepared than we could be. That is not the fault of the electorate.

How on earth could i be expected to maintain a relationship with someone that agreed with Katy hopkins and nigel fuckin farage. It would be ultimate proof that my husband was a thick shithead.
Totally acceptable for this to be a dealbreaker. Id be more likely to forgive an affair than this

I wonder if thick shit heads understand the difference between common ground and lowest common denominator? Or if insulting people means you don’t have to think for yourself?

I would leave my husband if he supported Brexit or voted Tory. Values are important to me and I couldn't be with someone who didn't share my values. I've yet to find someone who could convince me Brexit is good for anyone except people who want to tear down our protections and rights to exploit us, and racists.

DH and I were on opposite sides during the Indyref but we both had good reasoned arguments for our positions and respected each other. I would love someone to be able to give me a decent argument for Brexit that could be held up to scrutiny, but in 3 years, nada!

The only ones who do, appear to be uneducated, ignorant or racist, homophonic, sexist etc type people

And your evidence of this is ?

@Aderyn19 in my opinion and experience yes it does mean a dislike for Europeans but it's all very 'shhhh let's not talk about it '

Autumintheair as you will know, historically, the UK in particular and Member States insisted that the EU had no role to play in the control of weapons and military issues in general. This recent legislation is just the start of the recognition that the EU has to play a role in this area in a coordinated way, as actions by individual Member States are never going to be sufficient.

@edwinbear - struggling to understand how anyone educated in economics and working in the financial services industry could possibly support no deal. Can you explain? Aren’t you concerned about loss of passporting rights?

It depends very much on your circumstances and what is important to you in a relationship. DH and I have many different interests, but shared values is essential to me. If we didn't have children and his views on something that was very important to me were diametrically opposed to mine, I would probably leave.

@Autumnintheair because as I said, there are big issues on both sides. I don't believe the EU is an amazing option but I believe the cost of leaving with the right wing ideology we have now will be unacceptably high. So the EU government talked up an important issue and then did nothing leading to avoidable deaths... Are you convinced the UK government would do differently? Sex trafficking is not restricted to people from other countries. What about exploitation of girls leaving care? What about students forced into prostitution by austerity? Neither argument outweighs the huge harm no deal is likely to do.
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No deal is not essential. It could and should be avoided by negotiating properly without pissing contest red lines and if the ERG stopped playing games because they want a no deal.

I actually think the likeliest outcome of no deal is we will rejoin the EU as a full member with non of our current opt outs. Because the US won't deal with us if we mess up the gfa (Trump might want to, but the US isn't a dictatorship) and nor will the EU. I really don't want that outcome either. Either remain and work to fix it, or find a deal.

Hi @edwinbear please could you explain why you voted leave and why no deal is a good idea? Not being goady, promise, just sounds like you have an interesting job and different insights and I'd be interested to hear your points of view. Most stuff I read says the opposite but I'm aware that I get sent links to articles mostly from other remainers. Thanks

Gosh all these posts will people saying things like 'I have a phd and want no deal,' and 'All my friends are incredibly intelligent and want no deal,' are soooo convincing aren't they? .

Eeyore's post about how there's actually no such thing as no deal says it all. What do all these learned people have to say to that?

Autumnsintheair just because there is one issue that the EU has historically not handled particularly well, why does that mean we have to take this massive step of leaving? Are you so convinced that these matters would have been handled better by our own governments over the years, and particularly the brilliant one we have in now, if they remain on power, and strengthen their power (god forbid, but things just seem to get relentlessly worse now, so will probably happen) going forward?

OP YANBU and I'm shocked so many people think strongly differing political views in a marriage are no big deal, particularly if they come as a shock when a new issue arises. It would make you question just how well you knew the person and it will only get worse if no deal does happen and your family suffers as a result.

PhilCornwall I think it's widely accepted now that a well-handled divorce is better for children than parents staying in an unhappy marriage just for their sakes.

Oh, and I'm so reassured that the investment banker isn't worried about no deal - all the lolz, as someone said up-thread.

Finerumpus the fact of the matter is that the EU as a whole is our biggest trading partner, and if we want to continue to trade with them on similar terms to what we have now we will be tied in to their standards and certain conditions. We can’t have our cake and eat it! We will still want to collaborate with the EU on lots of things. So we will end up with BiNO in most people’s eyes anyway ! But it will take much longer of wrangling and the pain and financial hardship for some people will be awful. Blow Job and JRM don’t give a shit about the hardship for people - they’ll be absolutely fine.

How on earth could i be expected to maintain a relationship with someone that agreed with Katy hopkins and nigel fuckin farage

I was the same with my friend when she voted labour the last election after both Storefront and the BNP endorsed Corbyn

I mean that's the same right, guilt by association

Bit presumably you left you ex because he was an misogynistic arse. His voting is neither here nor there. Unless you think there are no remain voting husbands in existence who are also misogynistic arses?