Friends comment about my baby

[mumaw]

Just the above. I have a friend who's baby is 2 weeks younger than mine who is already sitting up in a bumbo seat. She mentioned to me that it was worrying my baby still can't support his head properly - he's still really wobbly with it.

I've started to panic now. He's my first baby so I don't know if it is something to think about or not.

I have tried putting him on his tummy so that he can practice lifting his head but he hates it and starts to whinge until I turn him on his back.

Is this normal?

This will only get worse. I mean, fancy finding some development to compare at 17 weeks. What on earth will she be like re crawling, walking, sitting (properly), talking.

Unless you are able to brush off her comments as idiotic I'd suggest you find some nice mum friends instead.

I have to say that when I see a very young baby sitting in a bumbo I don't see it as a positive in any way whatsoever. Not good for the baby, surely.

Also, what will she be like if your child does actually have an actual delay at some point? Hopefully that won’t happen but it’s hard enough seeing all your friends babies progress without a parent rubbing your nose in it.

So he’s sitting up at 17 weeks old. Your friend is either a lying hound or her child is a child should be in the Guinness book or world records

Oh lord! She sounds awful - I would try and distance yourself from her. Alternatively given that she has made you feel upset, perhaps its time for a taste of her own medicine. When she boasts about her 15 week old being on solids (i mean wtf ) I would berate her for being a twat and tell her this quote from kidshealth.org:
Babies who start solid foods before 4 months are at a higher risk for obesity and other problems later on. They also aren't coordinated enough to safely swallow solid foods and may choke on the food or inhale it into their lungs.

I dont like bumbos either - my dd was never a pukey baby but would throw up whenever I put her in one. Something to do with being a bit crumpled over I imagine.

The wisest advice another mum gave me was: "Well, have you seen any child crawl to school, in nappies, with a dummy in its mouth and a bottle of milk and pureed lunch in its bag?"

In other words, most children will eventually reach all the milestones...so don't worry and don't compare your child to another child, especially ignore competitive mums, even better, ignore them.

OP, don't worry. Discuss any concerns with a GP or HV only. Don't get into a game of comparisons with her- if she starts, change the topic.

Every baby is different. Your kid may well talk earlier than hers, or grasp reading quicker. Shs should not be making you feel this way. Plus I think a lot of try hard mums over exaggerate what their kid can do to sound better. It's annoying.

Ahhh... competative parenting.
Ignore her.
As I always say - be careful what you wish for.
Your DS will do things in his own good time.
Don't rush anything.
Enjoy each stage when your DS is ready.

If you want to help build his strength up but he hates tummy time try laying him on your chest and wave a interesting toy around to incourage him. My dd hated tummy time so I did a lot of alternatives

Ask her what age she started sitting up unsupported. She'll have no idea. It doesn't matter.
(Or if she does reply, say 'oooh I was sitting a few weeks earlier than you!'- just demonstrates how ridiculous she is).

Genuine question- is this "friend" an NCT friend? In which case she's not actually a friend but an acquaintance that happens to have a child the same age as yours and apart from that you may well have absolutely NOTHING in common.

Ignore her. Or if you can't, take everything she says with a LARGE pinch of salt.

Ignore your friend she is an idiot. In the blink of an eye they will be walking, talking 5 year olds and no ones going to give a monkeys who's head was more stable at 15 weeks. My first born held his head from the second he was born, my second at 4 months is still very wobbly. No one cares.

My first was 'slow' in everything- sitting up, walking, talking etc. My second was super sonic at all of these things. They have both grown to be perfectly normal- it's just that different babies take different amounts of time to get to certain places. Ignore you're friend. She's full of shit.

Is it her first baby also? I found a couple of friends who were first time mum's a bit competitive we had our babies in the space of a few months apart and there where 6 of us. So I know the feeling and it's hard not to compare with first especially but it does you know good. Some first time mum's almost want to rush thier babies through the milestones (I even did this at the beginning to some extent) but I was reminded by my older sisters and mum it goes so fast and enjoy your baby being a baby. So maybe your friend is doing this and always looking for the next milestone. If you are concerned talk to a HV but as everyone said they all devlope in their own time. The super competitive mum I know, we don't see much of now but when we do she is still the same and her child acts like she's much older and talks down to adults and our kids.

My son walked a lot later than some of my friend's children the same age. But he talked a lot earlier. They're all due to start school next week and they all walk and talk perfectly well.

Btw to my 1sy baby only was really interested in eating solids at 11/12 months..yes I stressed, but he eats really well and is not a fussy eater at all at 6 years...my friends babies where all eating earlier but it makes no difference xx

My mum gave me this absolute golden nugget when people kept asking if DD was walking yet and I was getting down about it... “They’re all different and will do it at their own pace. You don’t see any 4 year olds crawling in to school do you?” She had 4 of us and it did snap me out of it.

It’s horrible feeling like this, OP, at would should be such a special time.

I would personally distance myself from this friend for a while if I were you.

@mumaw don't do this to yourself, I know people grow tired of others telling them all babies develop and grow at there own pace but it's so true!

My DD1 was 'behind' with so much and always waited till the last minute to do something new.

I teach 11-18 year olds and I really can't tell you of out any of the students I teach who

• sat up first
• spoke first
• was breast fed or bottle fed
• walked first
• had big tantrums as a 2 year old

I CAN however tell who has a supportive and loving family, so that is really all that matters. Oh, and who enjoyed books as a child - that does affect language acquisition I am sure.

I don't mean for this to sound patronising, I worried about milestones when my 3 were young too.

Tell your friend OP that you are not worried, all babies do different things at different times X

We had a competitive one like this in our baby group. She alienated all of us over these types of comments and her child lost out as all playdate invites dried up very quickly. Life is a marathon not a sprint so whether they sit first, roll first etc has no bearing on their future abilities. Ignore her and enjoy your baby

There are questions surrounding the safety of those Bumbo seats and recommendations that I read (DC is now school age) were against them.

I don't understand parents who think that every milestone their kid hits is some sort of competition, and TBH, derive little benefit from being around such parents.

Many babies hate 'tummy time'; try doing this for very short periods to start with, and build up.

Your friend is a dick, and bumbo seats are a great way to slow down a baby's progress with sitting up.
All babies do everything differently. You aren't going to have an 18 year old who can't support their own head. Just relax and enjoy it.

Step away from the friend or tell her it’s not a competition. Do not involve yourself. Enjoy your baby - do not be involving yourself in anything he can do I can do better!!

Tell her that your baby is too busy doing Differential Calculus in his head to be bothered with mundane things like looking up

How long has she been a friend? If recent - I'd move away from because she is probably going to be a nightmare.

My eldest had head control from birth - which is pretty common in Breech babies.

You are recommended just milk for 6 months - early weaning are associated with digestive problems and allergies.

Vary early walking is correlated with SEN, I'm not sure if it is Dyspraxia or Autism.

And sitting early, early weaning, or early head control are in no way indicative of intelligence. But a parent who goes on about it probably has low self esteem and will desperately compare their child to yours causing all kinds of problems (either making you feel inadequate or freaking if your child does something first).