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Original poster

Friends comment about my baby

230 replies

mumaw · 30/08/2019 10:08

Just the above. I have a friend who's baby is 2 weeks younger than mine who is already sitting up in a bumbo seat. She mentioned to me that it was worrying my baby still can't support his head properly - he's still really wobbly with it.

I've started to panic now. He's my first baby so I don't know if it is something to think about or not.

I have tried putting him on his tummy so that he can practice lifting his head but he hates it and starts to whinge until I turn him on his back.

Is this normal?

OP posts:
LtJudyHopps · 30/08/2019 10:25

Please ignore your ‘friend’ she wants to make herself feel good and put you down in the process. Babies do things at their own pace and cannot be hurried! You try food when you feel he’s ready Flowers

If she’s making you feel rubbish maybe distance yourself for a little while.

doodleygirl · 30/08/2019 10:26

Just ignore your friend. Unfortunately once you have a child the comparisons start and never stop. Just be confident in what you are doing and ignore. Smile and nod.

avocadoincident · 30/08/2019 10:26

Bumbos are a bit of a no no and don't require much development or skill to sit in one.

Try not to stress. You will come across these twats competitive mums just breezily ignore their comments. It's a shame it's your friend though. Maybe say something like "I don't think it's helpful or kind to compare babies" next time.

And remember that babies develop at their own rates. X

Jent13c · 30/08/2019 10:26

My son never really had a wobbly head but I'm pretty sure he had reflux and was practicing the whole time to get his head upright. Also he sat up early and couldn't be bothered rolling flat on the floor so never used the muscles for that which apparently delays their walking milestone and he was almost 14 months so that makes sense so it's not always the best thing when they are determined to sit up quite so early!

They all come to different milestones in their own time, it's really not a competition although some parents want to make it one. If you are worried about your little one check with the Hv but some babies are just more content lying on their back than others

madcatladyforever · 30/08/2019 10:27

They all vary. In the 1980s we were all told to put our babies on their tummies to sleep rather than their backs and my son was lifting his head up from birth. My friends baby didn't do it until well over 17 weeks. Who cares. They develop in their own good time. They both went to pre school at 4 and had caught up with each other in all aspects by then.

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 30/08/2019 10:27

She's just started him on solids too but my DS is still just on milk, which I don't think there is anything wrong with? He doesn't seem interested in food yet.

Neither of mine were particularly interested in food until 8mo. Ignore any comparisons any other person makes, unless that person is a doctor/nurse/health visitor. Your baby will do everything in their own time!

StarlingsInSummer · 30/08/2019 10:27

DS had a bit of a head lag, and then took ages to sit up straight. But he crawled before nearly all of his friends... then walked after nearly of them. He’s now nearly five and can do everything his fiends can do.

At 17 weeks I wouldn’t worry, especially about the sitting. Just keep an eye on it, but really try not to obsess.

Dljlr · 30/08/2019 10:28

I had a friend like that, she even blasted when her DC got teeth before mine. Hers did everything up to a year before mine, but they're both 8 now and guess what, DS can walk and talk and sit and feed himself and shit in a toilet and I honestly couldn't even tell you his exact age when he did any of it for the first time even though I remember stressing exactly like you are now. She's a dick, smile and ignore.

StarlingsInSummer · 30/08/2019 10:28

And 15 weeks is too young for food. Definitely don’t worry about your 17 week old being on milk only!

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 30/08/2019 10:28

My first baby did everything late, some of my friends babys were walking before she could crawl. It did worry me but she was fine. Also hated tummy time which I dont think helped.
Just talk to your HV when you next get the baby weighed. They see so many they know what is normal

Dljlr · 30/08/2019 10:28

Boasted, not blasted...

cheesydoesit · 30/08/2019 10:29

You and your DS sound like you are doing just fine. Your friend sounds like a bit of an idiot to be honest. Bumbo seats and solids at 15 weeks? Why is she in such a rush? I would distance myself from her, meet up much less and definitely mute her on social media.

Just relax. My two hated 'tummy time' too, they all get there in the end regardless.

Lipz · 30/08/2019 10:30

I hate people like this. Always trying to out do everyone. It's not a competition. All mine hated tummy time. It is recommended and does work and what I found, even for a few minutes a day was to get a couple of their favourite toys and place them in the floor in front of baby, get a large towel and roll it up tight and place under baby's chest, don't restrict their arms. It helps support them and they don't feel like they are struggling, they are propped up and they feel supported and more comfortable. Now they didn't love this either but were able to tolerate tummy time a little bit more. Maybe try this ? You are doing great and don't worry about solids, you'll know when your baby is ready. There's plenty of time for this. All babies will reach milestones in their own time, some later than others.

Mamma92 · 30/08/2019 10:30

It makes me so sad to read posts like this why does you're friend feel the need to be so competitive with her child ! Why cant women just support each other it's hard enough parenting without people like you're friend making you feel bad , take no notice of her xx

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 30/08/2019 10:30

She's started her 15-week-old on solids? Well.

She sounds like an annoying competitive twat. Just enjoy your baby. They all develop at different rates.

Maybe distance yourself from her if she's really pissing you off. But just tell her politely but firmly that all babies develop at different rates and yours is fine and to stop making rude comments.

wednesday32 · 30/08/2019 10:31

Bumbo seats are not recommended for babies that young.
I really would not let what your friend says worry you.
It sounds like she is insecure of her own child's development if shes making comments about others.

Disfordarkchocolate · 30/08/2019 10:31

I've had 4 babies and they all did these sort of things at different ages. One walked at 9 months, one could hold up his head when he was born. They did other things later than their siblings. Don't worry about other babies, yours sounds perfectly 'normal'. Some parents are obsessed with their baby being first to do things, even if it's not best for their baby.

Readytogogogo · 30/08/2019 10:32

Doesn't sound like anything to worry about. If you are worried though, have a chat with your health visitor.

This behaviour from your 'friend' will only get worse as your children get older. Either start minimising contact now, or learn to ignore the comments.

Allyo19 · 30/08/2019 10:32

Please try not to surround yourself with competitive parents. It'll make you miserable. If you have genuine concerns then ask gp or hv.

Crabbitstick · 30/08/2019 10:32

Ignore her or laugh off ‘well he’s not going to be at school still wobbling his head is he’.

They get there in their own time. She’s started him on food waaaaay before recommended time. Even if you go a bit earlier than 6 months, anything before 17 weeks can lead to stomach problems and possibly impair growth (too much food, not enough milk).

Tummy time - any time not on their back is good for development. So time carried, in sling also aids development of key muscles. Some babies like to be placed on a rolled blanket/towel, just to prop them a bit when on front.

Being a baby is not a race, try nip in bud her comments now. Or learn to ignore. Enjoy your baby!

Evennow · 30/08/2019 10:33

www.babycentre.co.uk/a6579/developmental-milestones-head-control

Your baby is unique. Forget the comparisons and competition which are rife among parents. Info at the link might help.

Tonnerre · 30/08/2019 10:33

You need to go into passive-aggressive defence mode. "Oh dear, didn't you know that putting babies this age into Bumbo seats is bad for their spines?" "Goodness, what a shame that your baby has had to move to solids so early, you did know that the recommended minimum is 6 months, didn't you?"

SinkGirl · 30/08/2019 10:35

One of my twins did everything physical at least 1-2 months before his twin. Babies progress differently. And bumbo seats are a huge no no, so she can suck it.

And solids at 15 weeks?! She’s mad.

TapDanceJazzHands · 30/08/2019 10:35

Gosh don't worry. Your baby sounds fine!
Your friend using the Bumbo seat is more of a worry tbh. It's not good for babies physical development as it forces them into an unnatural position they cannot support.

TrynaLiveInPeace · 30/08/2019 10:35

Ignore her, honestly some parents love doing this and I hate it!!!
Someone mentioned lying back and having baby on your chest, that's tummy time too.
Don't worry too much about when baby should be doing things and watch them surprise you.

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