Friends comment about my baby

[mumaw]

Just the above. I have a friend who's baby is 2 weeks younger than mine who is already sitting up in a bumbo seat. She mentioned to me that it was worrying my baby still can't support his head properly - he's still really wobbly with it.

I've started to panic now. He's my first baby so I don't know if it is something to think about or not.

I have tried putting him on his tummy so that he can practice lifting his head but he hates it and starts to whinge until I turn him on his back.

Is this normal?

Honestly it's not a race. Bear in mind while her baby is working on sitting up yours may be working on something else, that is not so obvious but still important for development. They will get there in the end.

I've got three kids and you know what? All babies are different. My last kid was 16 months before he walked, talked or even got his first tooth. He's 7 now and other than him not bothering to try doing anything before 16 months he's completely fine. Just a regular little boy who's doing well in school and everything. (I put it down to two doting sisters doing everything for him as a baby that made him lazy )

Don't worry. Your baby is very young yet for sitting up. Don't compare your babies and shit down immediately anyone who tries to make comparisons.

Tummy time isn’t great either.

Forcing babies to do things earlier than they are ready to isn’t kind to them. In fact, it can be really harmful.

www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/the-case-against-tummy-time-guest-post-by-irene-gutteridge/

www.janetlansbury.com/2009/12/dont-stand-me-up/

Your friend sounds like a twat.

How about full on bitch mode...

‘You seem to
Be in an awful hurry for him to grow up... is everything ok hun?’ Head tilt.

Take no notice and in fact shut down all the comparison.

This. When she starts being Little Miss Competitive (because that's what it sounds like, the kind of little girl in primary school who would go bouncing around shrieking 'What did YOU get in the spelling test? I got them ALL RIGHT and Lisa Smith got TWO WRONG!!!') say 'Oh, mine has opened his eyes yet' or 'Mine's still attached to the placenta - I hate rushing children!'

Mine HASN'T opened his eyes yet, that should have read.

Oh and your baby doesn't need anything other than milk at this age! Early weaning isn't recommended for good reason. She's pushing her baby too fast just to be first. Relax, take your time, let baby take his time and enjoy this. We didn't even start trying foods until after 6 months and my kids have never became fussy and they eat like champs at 12, 9 and 7.

The only good way to compare babies and children is competitive complaining. Even so... it should be done with humour.

Tell her that you baby has just said its first words "mind your own business"

I would distance yourself from “ friend” . All babies are different. Find yourself a nice group surround yourself with people enjoying their babies not one that it’s a competition.

My Ds has delayed speech . Now 12 he barely shuts up. And not one person who didn’t know him as a baby would know.

I would say didn’t realise it was a competition to any of these ridiculous comments

They all develop at different rates n times. But I get it's hard to ignore comments or compare. I had it with dd1. She hated tummy time, never crawled and was 22 month before she very tentatively started to walk. Fast forward 5 years you'd never know. She's currently taring round the trampoline park n asking to do parkrun tommorow

The position a baby sits in in a bumbo is supposed to be bad for the spine. I also think I read that because the bumbo is supporting them, they aren't using their muscles so aren't developing core strength. So they look like their sitting but it's actually holding them back from learning to sit unaided. I suspect there is a difference between using them occasionally for ten min and for ages at a time.

Your friend clearly has some need to get one up on other people to feel good - ignore her!

Find a new friend - she sounds dreadful. If this is what she's like at 4 months, imagine when they're four years old, or fourteen years old!

Everything happens at different times for every child - enjoy you baby!

mumaw my 7 month old has only just sat up properly and isn't interested in food. My son sat at 5 months and couldn't get enough of food, he'd steal it from our plate!

Please stop comparing, all kids are different.

Dont worry about it (or speak to your HV), your DS will soon be doing things her baby isn't. I had a lot of comments as DD was always behind with her physical milestones. At 1 she is only just getting ready to crawl. However, she waved, clapped and had her first word before her peers. She's pointing, talking and using baby signs whilst some of her friends havent had their first words. She is also fully weaned. Maybe physical milestones just arent your baby's thing. I doubt DD was born to be an athlete but she's fiercely bright

A good friend had a baby three weeks ahead of me and I tormented myself for years because he reached his milestones months ahead of my DS who was months behind on everything. He walked at 10 months, DS didn’t walk until 15 months. He knew nursery rhymes at 2 and a half years, DS ate board books until he was 3 etc etc. Luckily my friend was a lot kinder and more tactful than your and would always reassure me that DS was fine.
That was 30 years ago. Coincidentally they both entered the same profession and DS is now even more highly qualified than the friends son. That might give me a bit of a proud glow but I now know it’s unimportant just as my friend’s son being more advanced was unimportant back then. What matters is that they are healthy, happy young men and that the families have a friendship network going back such a very long way.

Agree that it's time to make new mummy friends that don't make you feel bad. Will make mat leave much more enjoyable! X

Unfortunately, some friendships don't survive the arrival of children. Someone you thought was on your wavelength etc suddenly turns into a parent from hell or has a personality change (or you do). It's a sad truth. My SIL's best friend since she was 18 is still her friend, but their relationship is not the same after they had babies 2 months apart and realised they just had completely different approaches. As the babies have got bigger, it's got easier, but it's not the same.

And your friend should not be weaning her child at 15 weeks. That's madness. Even old-school guidance was 4 months IIRC.

I think it's worth chatting to your health visitor if YOU are concerned about your baby's development. 17 weeks does seem quite old but it might also be what you consider holding their head up. Pop into a local drop in clinic if you're concerned.

Delete her from Facebook and stop spending so much time with her. You are going to spoil your baby’s early months if you carry on letting her upset you like this. Your relationship with your baby is way more important than the bullshit that she is spouting, so do yourself a huge favour and step away.

If you want your baby to be able to sit and watch you get a bouncy chair, they are much better for their spines. Bumbos are horrible; I hate seeing tiny babies all scrunched up in them. Hold him on your hip facing out, against your shoulder, or bounce him gently on your knee. This will all help strengthen his neck muscles and he’ll probably like it more than tummy time! Speak to your health visitor about solids, and follow her advice. She can take your baby’s weight, development, gestational age and other factors into account. She’s the expert.

With any luck her baby will be walking at 9 months and she will be wishing she hadn't encouraged the sitting up and walking. Ultimately if there isn't an underlying problem all children will be walking by the time they get to school.

Fwiw DD didn't sit unaided till she was 5.5 months, walk till she was 13 months or talk till she was 2.2 years.

Ds otoh could feed himself at 9 weeks, walked at 9 months and didn't talk coherently till he was 4years old.

They are both normal teens.

Every child is different.

@mumaw don't listen to everyone saying bumons aren't recommenced.
They aren't illegal.
You are the parent so you decide.
The only reason I never got one is cod I couldn't afford one at the time! I just used pillows
Stacked against the bottom of the couch

Bumbos*

If your friend is normally not like this, and you can't think back to competitive shit about boyfriends or life-events etc and have a little epiphany about her, then I'd be a little concerned about her. (Not so much that I'd put myself in the firing line to be torn down, but I wouldn't throw out the friendship entirely and be prepared to forgive when she regains her senses). Because like my SIL she may be experiencing PND and be masking it with this shit. That's only if it's completely out of character, tho.

Ignore your friend. I'm pretty sure bumbo seats aren't recommended anyway because they restrict natural movement. My baby is 19 weeks and she can't sit up at all, her head control is good but can't steady herself at all sitting. But she can roll over and is showing signs of crawling. They all develop in different ways at different times. Don't worry about it!