Is it me or him?

[Firstedition]

DH have a very loving relationship we only have two ongoing disagreements/arguments.
We both FW, I'm 32 weeks pregnant and we have a dog (which was my idea). I've never liked cleaning and have been always fortunate enough to have a cleaner until not that long ago, so cleaning is definitely something I don't excel at.
The house stinks of dog there's no denying that. Yes, I could do more but I'm either tired or don't feel like it. It doesn't help that I don't like where we live and have no love/pride towards it. I however do things here and there. He usually goes on about how the house isn't clean and it smells. We have opposite working schedules, this only lasts for 6 months, but while it does we only see each other after 6 every day. I feel like he puts me down about it and always end up in tears. Just yesterday for example I said that I hoovered the day before but he just dismissed by saying I used the shitty one rather than the one that works. I also cleaned the kitchen floors, empty the dish washer do the dishes (not always but when I can I do), the laundry (most of the times) and always take out the rubbish/recycling. I just don't think he's being fair on me, but maybe it's the hormones.

Dog needs at LEAST an hour of walking per day, morning and evening and access to outside (or a dog walker) in the middle of the day. Put down a wipe-clean floor rather than concrete which soaks up the wee.

Or rehome the dog - it's about to get an awful lot worse when the baby arrives, especially if the dog is underexercised and bored.

As much as you won't like this and it's just my opinion though the option I think it's best you give the dog to someone that has time for it, that's no quality of life for a dog, just like a child it wants love and attention and from what I've read it isn't getting what it needs. Walking and training it's a big part! Working plus being pregnant and trying to be a house wife is obviously to much for you, your husband shouldn't be putting you down he should be helping especially with the dog. You sound really down in the dumps, I would have a look at rehousing the dog

Your lifestyle it totally manageable. My DH and I both work FT, rarely getting home until 5pm on a normal day, one of us sometimes much later in the evening. We have two DC's aged 6 and 4 and 4 dogs, as well as various other animals, yet our home is always spotlessly clean and the dogs are walked at least 4 times a day, as in for at least 40 minutes at a time. We also have a dog walker twice a week to allow them some additional exercise.

I admit we are a fairly outdoorsy family and often find activities where the dogs can tag along, but event so walking the dog a couple of times a day shouldn't be too much to ask, even while pregnant! D

I agree with @spanglydangly get in a routine now! Can't you clean before you leave for work?
I tend to clean and walk the dogs before I leave for work and pop the kids on the bus and then just tidy up and hoover the dogs room in the evening. Saves a lot of time and you get more time with DC and DH in the evening that way.

As pp said things will only get harder to maintain when baby arrives. I would rehome the poor dog and tell your husband to pull his weight.

He sometimes helps with....

This is the problem. You both see it as your job and he helps sometimes.

Get it sorted before baby comes along or you’ll be a regular poster with this stuff.

He shouldn’t be having a go at you because the house isn’t clean. It’s his house too and only a misogynistic arse thinks ts the woman’s job to deal with it.

Sorry I also think you should rehome the dog. You don't walk her enough now; you'll have even less time and energy when the baby arrives.

Poor pooch.

We can't afford a cleaner, I was made redundant and have to live on one MW and half his salary because half his salary goes to CM/ commuting. So we live with the equivalent of 1.5 MW.

I walk her for 30 mins when I get back, longer ones over the weekend.

Yes , it's not unusual to only see each other after six, but we don't spend the weekends together so we never have time together when we're not tired and could have a better go at the house.

You need to pay somebody to come and walk that poor dog during the day.

Why do you have a dog if you can’t look after it?
The dog pissing is going to get even worse when the baby is here and it’s left out and ignored more than it already is. Plus when the baby is moving it’ll be crawling and walking through dog piss.

You both need to sort yourselves out. Not walking a dog because you both can’t be arsed is neglect

Why is the cleaning more your problem and responsibility? He lives there as well and is just as liable.

But yeah if you walked the dog more then there would probably be less issues with wee and dog smell

Is CM child maintenance?
I hope you own your home and don't rent. The concrete floor will be impregnated with dog urine.

I usually don't have enough time to clean before I leave (around 730). All cleaning is done when I get back as that's when I have the time.

Sounds like you need to rehome the dog, neither of you are looking after her properly. Then you need to split the chores. You are both in the wrong

Unfortunately we do rent. The wee is all outside so not a real problem with baby, but definitely a problem before we move out to a house we own.

You have failed to train your dog properly OP. That is what's caused the issues with taking it to work and the pissy floor.

So are you going to train your dog now or let it go to somebody that can be arsed to put the work in with it?

I would genuinely call RSPCA if I knew where you lived because leaving a dog inside all day and letting it piss all over the floor is utterly vile.

Agree with thetrollfairy 100%

I agree with Yabbers and others , DH is the one who is just not doing enough housework. I also agree with GreenFingers andChodeMcwinkle that the dog will settle in more happily at a new home, with plenty of walking and training.

I could not live with a misogynistic Dh that critisised how much housework I was doing, yet he did less than half what I did and thought that was OK.
Find doggy a new home with plenty of time & love to devote to him, and consider taking some time out from your nitpicking Dh.

In the last couple of months she's become a lot better. She was a puppy and with seven dogs in office to run wild it was a recipe for disaster. Her recall is a lot better. It's just the pissing in the actual garden the main problem now.

The dog doesn't live inside! Nor is she surrounded by piss. She has the whole garden and house to herself the whole day. We just need to get a walker for two walks before I get home.

You are both too lazy to clean or to look after your pet properly!
You haven't taken the time to train your dog so how do you think that is going to work with a new born?.
As for 'i' m so tired' get over it! You fully admit you were like this even before you were pregnant but at least you could pay someone to pick up after you before.

My dad's dogs do their business inside and it stinks. Ido think if it's your dog you need to sort it.
Maybe get a dog trainer in before baby arrives. That is not hygienic around children at all.

Sorry it is a difficult time for you, hope you can start sorting things soon. Sending these cos I do remember how difficult it can be towards the end of pregnancy.

The rest of the household cleaning needs to be shared. If you can't sort it realistically your going to need to share cost of a cleaner to do at least the basics

I don't have a cleaner because I couldn't be bothered. By exH could be bothered in the slightest and I definitely couldn't handle that anymore. My previous flat, was a lot cleaner but I lived on my own and took pride of it because I loved living there.