AIBU to consider trying for DC3 at 46?

[Hooliesmoolies]

I am not sure if I am being ridiculous to consider trying for DC3 at 46 (DC1 is 10 and DC2 is 8). I am not sure if my reasons are ridiculous. Honestly, I just don't think I'm ready for my kids to grow up, or rather I'm not ready to not have little kids. But then I worry that having any more is like replacing the ones I have, and I wouldn't want my children to feel replaced! They get old so fast, although I also love the age they currently are too. I was terrified that having my second would ruin the life of my first (although my reason told me it wouldn't). For my dc, I do worry that were I to actually be able to have a DC3 (which given my age is unlikely), that it would really ruin the lives of DCs 1 & 2 (actually, I think it would be more an issue for DC2). I came from a family of 2, DH came from a family of 3 and has always wanted more children (although not in any forceful way). AIBU to think about trying for DC3? Has anyone else had that 'my-kids-are-growing-so-fast-and-it-is-my-last-chance-to-have-them' feeling (actually, it was probably my last chance about 5 years ago), and had them? Or not? And has anyone been a sibling in that sort of situation and felt their life was ruined by the late new arrivals? A DC3 would mean very big life changes for everyone (in the way that a new baby changes anything!). We would get very little support from family because my parents are now quite old (not surprising given my age). But, I kind of think that I would happily give up on my career to spend more time with my kids (within reason, because financially I can't be a SAHM).

I had my third at age 42 with a 10 year gap between DCs 2 and 3.

The older DC adore their sister and our family is very unhappy. Older kids definitely not disadvantaged. I am tired and wish I had more time to fo me-things like yoga and cycling, but I wouldn't change it. She is snuggled on my lap watching frozen right now after an afternoon picking blackberries and it is divine. Older dc off with friends.

Damn. Our family is very HAPPY

I am only 2 years older, but the thought of having a baby is completely ludicrous to me. Mind you, mine are 21 and 17.

I am really fit, healthy and energetic as is my husband, but we feel way too old to have a baby and, shallow and silly though it is, I'd hate to be the ancient mum at the school gates.

Go for it! Life is too short. If it's meant to be it won't happen. As long as you are prepared for all the potential challenges. If you have the energy and money then go for it. There are always challenges whether you are 20 or 40. Good luck!

I meant if it's not meant to be.

I know people have posted anecdotes here but I honestly don’t know a single person who has fallen pregnant and carried baby to term naturally over 45.

I feel like this post is largely wishful thinking. Especially if OP’s partner is her age or older. Extremely rare to conceive and carry to term in late 40s.

I've already posted but just wanted to add that I had baby no.2 just shy of 40 and now at 50+ I am thinking of retirement. I wish I had them earlier, but it didn't work out that way. My DB is 55 and he has taken early retirement, all his DC are 20's and working and set up and he doesn't need to worry about them. He's off travelling the world.

DH and I won't be able to do anything until at least 63 when DC finish Uni and start their independent lives.

I know someone who had her youngest at 48. Natural conception, no issues. But v v rare obvs!

Yes I think YABU.

OP it is not for eveetone but would you consider fostering ir adoption? Two totally different options (different from each other) and both different from having a birth child as conception/pregnancy and birth (by you) not needed.

everyone but would you consider fostering or adoption ..

Ps I am am adopter and our son was born when born when I was 45.

Oh christ no. No, no, no.

My friend has a child three years younger than mine and days out are tricky enough with that gap. Everything has to revolve around the needs of the youngest, while the older ones either run feral or simply get ignored.

Each to their own of course! If you found pregnancy, babyhood and toddlerhood a lovely time of life then I can see why you'd want to do it again. I personally didn't so these threads always mystify me.

My DD is just 19 and we have a fab relationship. Preteens was hard, with hormones kicking in, but the teenage years have mostly been a blast. She's great company and we go to concerts together, cinema, meals, charity shop mooches! Plus she still comes on holidays.

I'm nearly 43 and I can't imagine starting over again. I feel I have the best of both worlds now, a lovely daughter and my independence back - I can't comprehend doing sleepless nights and packing up bags of baby stuff, just to leave the house.

I know you're sad to leave the baby years behind, but don't let that mean you miss out on the brilliant times ahead