To think that my need is just as great

[TheBananaInPyjamas]

...when travelling on the tube.

Sorry I know there's a few posts about this historically but things reached breaking point today so feel the need to vent!

I wear a "Please offer me a seat badge" as I have scoliosis and it hurts to stand for long periods of time, especially on a train when needing to support my self and prevent falling.

This summer it has been ridiculous trying to get a seat. Yesterday I was standing for ages and got stares from at least 4 people, who ignored me. As soon as a pregnant lady got on, someone stood up for her. Just to be clear - I'm not saying I need the seat more than her - but it was frustrating that people took her seriously and not me.

Today, I got on at the same time as a pregnant lady wearing a badge, and again, someone stood up, gestured over my head, and offered her the seat. Again, totally get that she needs it and would never take a seat from a pregnant lady but it was so frustrating as people just gawped at me. Was also cringe as I didn't see her at first so smiled, nearly said thank you, then she moved from behind me and sat.

Also today I was standing, out of the four seats in front of me, two were disabled/pregnant, one was asleep, and one woman was doing her make up..... blatantly saw me but I guess decided her mascara was more important. I find it so difficult to speak up in these situations, as she may have a hidden disability so did not want to say anything but had to bite my tongue to not say "are you quite finished....?"

AIBU to think that the "please offer me a seat" badge should have the same gravitas as the "baby on board?" Would you stand up for someone with this badge?

Sorry for rambling, just tired, pissed off and in pain!

You need to ask for a seat.

I've never heard someone refuse to give up their seat, in any seat, let alone the priority ones.

Lucky you. Happens to us all the time.

And, let's be honest, it would be stupid to have four seats on every carriage left empty and people standing just in case someone else needed the seat.

Ahh, the same argument given when people use the last spaces in a car park that also happen to be blue badge spaces.

I wouldn’t notice a badge and I think it’s a bit pointless to wear one as anyone could wear one to be honest! I’d not just instantly move because someone was wearing a badge. Pregnancy is very obvious. If you want people to move for you then you need to learn to speak up. People aren’t obliged to search every passenger that gets on the train for signs of a badge! Sorry but I think you need to take some responsibility and just ask people to move for you and tell them why. Badges really are a bit ridiculous.

Badges really are a bit ridiculous.

Can we take it you’ve never needed one then? I have and it was a lifesaver. Plenty people noticed it and offered a seat so clearly lots of people do notice them unlike some of the self-absorbed people on here suggesting they’re far too busy with music or reading or sitting and shouldn’t be expected to look out for a badge.

I've never heard someone refuse to give up their seat, in any seat, let alone the priority ones.

It happened to me the second time I used my badge, there’s even a thread on here about it

He didn’t move until the other passengers booed him!

I've never heard someone refuse to give up their seat

I can assure you it does happen, and frequently. The various reasons I’ve been given are: the person is tired, they are hungover, they need the seat because they have a dog (pet not assistance) and, my personal favourite, I’m not disabled, just fat and lazy.

Sadly it does happen! Sometimes I get it, like people say "I've been standing all day" but sometimes it's nasty.

They can be really nasty. Then you’re stuck standing next to them, and everyone else who saw the exchange but didn’t give up a seat, embarrassed and in pain. So for anyone saying “just ask, it’s easy, you must speak up”, it’s not quite as easy (especially if you have ongoing problems and your whole day has been a long, painful struggle).

Thanks @plunkplunkfizz it really isn't that easy!

I remember once getting on the northern line southbound at Bank, which was horrendous. I had to wait for about 4 trains to even get on - the whole time standing to queue as if you sit on the seats on the platform you're always going to be last on and stuck by the doors.

Anyway, started having a panic attack on the platform (not fun) Finally got on, someone took the last seat and I just about managed to ask, was given a weird look because I just looked like this panicky horrible mess. Another lady stood up, and made sure I was okay. Honestly it is so draining! Especially having to ask when you're already feeling like shit and it's not an easy interaction!