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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ignored wishes

76 replies

Dogdrama · 29/08/2019 19:56

A relative very very kindly offered to look after our dog while we went away for a few days with another relative as the dog hates the kennels.

Relative can be a bit unsteady sometimes , not around the house but definitely on long country walks and uneven ground so we said just to let her in the garden and not walk her. Especially as dog is a rescue and recall can be an issue.
Relative said this was the best and agreed.

I've just found out that they have actually been taking her out every single day on long walks and lying to us and the relative we were with knew and had said nothing.

I don't know how I feel tbh

I'm grateful they looked after her, I'm not even that against the walk I was just trying to make it easier for them, dd is very upset!

OP posts:
Geschwister4 · 29/08/2019 19:58

Did anything happen? Did the dog run off? I can't see an issue otherwise.

Lockheart · 29/08/2019 20:00

So nothing actually happened and the dog is safe and well?

If so, I'd say nothing, be grateful for the dog sitting, and simply not let them look after the dog again.

IAmALazyArse · 29/08/2019 20:01

Why is DD upset?Shock

ShirleyPhallus · 29/08/2019 20:03

Nothing happened though did it?

ItsGoingTibiaK · 29/08/2019 20:05

🤷‍♀️

Sparklingbrook · 29/08/2019 20:05

The dog's ok (it got lots of walks that's good right)? And your relative is ok?

It has been very hot though, is that your concern?

ALoadOfTwaddle · 29/08/2019 20:06

No harm, no foul.

Sorrysorrysosorry · 29/08/2019 20:17

The dog got exercise, was well looked after and the relative didn’t fall so wasn’t injured so if your worry is about what could have happened? Just don’t let them look after the dog again.

Nicknacky · 29/08/2019 20:18

So what’s the problem?

CrocodilesCry · 29/08/2019 20:20

I do get why you're upset.

I wouldn't let DFIL look after our dog if we went on holiday as we couldn't trust him not to walk her - though my concern would be she'd be stolen or lost/knocked over.

But there's no harm done and your relative is ok, I just wouldn't leave the dog with them again because you would worry.

Pinkyyy · 29/08/2019 20:20

You're upset because the people who looked after your dog FOR FREE took it on walks?

AguerosAngel · 29/08/2019 20:23

No harm done, I bet the dog had a ball!

Confused
Namenic · 29/08/2019 20:24

The intention was probably good, so thank your relative and you can decide if you want to do it again

Apolloanddaphne · 29/08/2019 20:30

Why is your DD upset? The dog is fine and your relative is fine. Seems good to me.

MrsLinManuelMiranda · 29/08/2019 20:35

Is DD upset because now the dog will expect long walks? If not I think you should all be feeling grateful and nothing else!

Rachelover40 · 29/08/2019 20:37

I don't know what you are upset about.

HypatiaCade · 29/08/2019 20:40

I get why you're upset. You were lied to, deliberately, and the relative you were with conspired to hide the truth from you. If they were willing to lie about this, what else are they willing to lie about? How can you trust them again?

And, it could so easily have gone wrong! What if the dog had run off, pulled the relative over, etc, etc. All the what ifs must be running around in your head.

ElizaPancakes · 29/08/2019 20:50

Just because relative is sometimes unsteady, it’s up to them to decide whether they’re ok going out to walk the dog.

Unless you explicitly said “I do not want you to walk the dog, just let him out in the garden” I really don’t see what the issue is. I suspect what you actually said was “no need to go for walks, just let dog out in the garden” then what you said was a suggestion not an instruction.

@HypatiaCade get a grip. Grown adults are allowed to decide what they are capable of.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 29/08/2019 20:51

So you've saved yourself a tonne of money on kennels and your complaining that your dog has had some lovely long walks in the nice weather and no harm has come to either of them????

HollyBollyBooBoo · 29/08/2019 20:54

There are some mental threads tonight, what is going on?!

Original poster
Dogdrama · 29/08/2019 20:56

Dd has autism and is upset that relative promised her specifically that she wouldn't take her for a walk as dd was worrying about it.

Relative currently has two large cuts and marks where they have recently fell.

We have had meltdowns because she is now panicking that the final days we are here relative might fall or be pulled over and both hurt themself and or lose the dog. Like others have said its also been very hot.

I am extremely grateful they looked after the dog of course I am.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 29/08/2019 20:59

I can see why she is upset. Can they send you some photos on the phone of the dog so she can see it's ok.

TiredOldTable · 29/08/2019 20:59

It is not fair on the dog not to walk it.

longtimelurkerhelen · 29/08/2019 21:02

In this heat it is not fair to walk the dog. I would be very angry. You asked them not to walk for their own safety and also that of the dog. Can you speak to them and explain how upset your dd is and tell them not to walk the dog for the remainder of the holiday?

Nicknacky · 29/08/2019 21:04

long How do you know it’s hot where the op is or when this was?

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