Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone have anything positive to say about being a parent?

194 replies

Wiltshirelass2019 · 29/08/2019 10:55

Just about to have my first baby and all I seem to read is that being a parent is drudgery. Everyone with kids tells me my life is over and I’ll never sleep again. It’s really getting me down. Aibu or do people with kids never seem to have anything nice to say about parenting when you’re pregnant? I’m shitting myself 😭

OP posts:
MissB83 · 29/08/2019 14:44

I'm single and my son is the most important person in my life. He is absolutely the centre of my world and I love the very bones of him. Watching him grow every day is such a privilege. I've never loved anyone like that; I honestly don't think I understood what love was until he was born. My life is ten thousand times richer now he is around. That doesn't mean it's not bloody hard work but it is worth it.

TheGoogleMum · 29/08/2019 14:47

There is no feeling like making them laugh and smile (DD is only9 months old)

Waxonwaxoff0 · 29/08/2019 14:47

The love triumphs everything to be honest.

I do find being a parent difficult, I'm not really a "natural" at motherhood. But as DS gets older it gets easier (he's 6).

But I try my absolute best and the love I have for him is like nothing I've ever felt before. I can't ever imagine loving anyone else the way I love him. And I know he loves me because he tells me every day.

I wouldn't change my life for anything. I wouldn't be without him despite all the challenges.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 29/08/2019 14:50

I have 3 dc and love it. Gutted that summer holidays are nearly over. Baby stage is just that. A stage. Sounds corny but Enjoy it. It goes too quickly!

Helpel · 29/08/2019 15:16

The level of love is incomparable with any other in my opinion. I met my husband at 30, had plenty of boyfriends before that who I'd loved to differing levels! My husband was the best man (along with my dad) I had ever met and still is. We laugh all the time, think the same things, have shared values, great sex, he does loads around the house you name it - a perfect example of a romantic match (now showing off, just making a point!). I didn't think the love I felt for him could be matched. I remember thinking when I was first pregnant 'will I love this baby as much as I love my husband?' Then we had our children. Now I laugh about that thought. I still love my husband the same as before, but it is not on the same scale as what I feel about my children, which is all consuming. This means that any elements of drudgery or difficulty just pale away into insignificance in the long run. Best thing I ever did was having children and I was not someone that particularly wanted children until I met my husband. And yes, to repeat what others have said and I can only say for me personally, they gave my life real meaning.

duebaby2 · 29/08/2019 15:31

Your life is far from over, your simply about to start a new chapter.

You will sleep again eventually. We started getting full nights sleep with the occasionally wake up around midnight due to a bad dream or drink from about 10 months/1yr in.

Children keep your spirit alive. My toddler makes me angry but in the same breath makes me laugh out loud.

I get cuddles most days, even if he did go through a phase of not wanting to, it was just a phase and now I get kisses and cuddles most days even if I have to steal them lol

It's tiring but worth it! Seeing them grow and change is amazing

JuneSpoon · 29/08/2019 15:45

My 22 month old is an absolute treasure. We've loved every stage so far. Hasn't been a bad moment. He wakes in the night but will sleep in till 10am sometimes. We love him so much. Kids are fab!! Enjoy!!!

neverornow · 29/08/2019 16:33

Don't listen to them!
You will love that tiny human more than anything else in this world and won't care that your own needs are now second to theirs. You will sleep again, eventually.
They give back so much in return...love, cuddles, seeing the first smile is such an amazing feeling, they are hilarious at times and watching them grow and progress, knowing you've created them is a wonderful feeling.

Abracad · 29/08/2019 16:40

Mothering is my greatest joy and my greatest achievement and I enjoy spending time with my children more than anyone else. If I could have more, I would, without hesitation.

ThePolishWombat · 29/08/2019 16:41

My DCs are 4, 2, and I’m expecting DC3 imminently.
These kids suck every ounce of my energy on a daily basis. They have never slept well. They now fight with each other like cat and dog, and push my patience to its limits.

But at the same time, as cheesy as it sounds, having your own DCs makes you feel an entirely different kind of love than you’ve ever felt before.
Like yesterday: my 2yo was a nightmare from dusk til dawn. I could have happily strangled him. But then come bedtime, he looked at me after a story, asked for a “huggle” and said “Love you Mama. Sweet dwweeeaaaams” Grin and that right there, makes the hard slog all worth it.
No matter how shit you feel, you are the centre of those little peoples’ whole universe. And that is enough for me.

taytosandwich · 29/08/2019 16:43

It is tiring and there is drudgework. Sometimes you will regret it, for a fleeting second. But the good parts massively outweigh the boring crap parts, by a massive amount. It's hard to describe just how much.

katesalwayslate · 29/08/2019 16:46

I HATE the way most people scare others about having kids. It made my pregnancy so full of anxiety. And honest I found it’s all utter bullshit. I get 8 hours sleep a night, easily. My kids are literally my favorite people on planet earth, not just because I instinctively love them but because they’re so fun! I genuinely enjoy their company and have the most amazing time with them! I don’t have ANY family support and I’ve never left my child with a babysitter due to not living anywhere near family so it’s not like we have just had it easy in terms of loads of free time as we have none! But honestly I don’t even want any. If I have a weekend planned I’m so excited for stuff I can do with my kids. Don’t let the fear mongers get you down like I did!

katesalwayslate · 29/08/2019 16:49

Should add - might be worth abandoning some traditional British parenting if sleep is getting you down. DPs family are foreign and we chose to try raising kids how they do there (aka without strict routines and crazy early bedtimes like is common in the UK, and we also started co-sleeping). Literally the second we did this our sleep problems were over!

Zeusthemoose · 29/08/2019 16:50

Yep it can be hard at times but it's such a massive learning curve. Parenthood has genuinely made me a better/ wiser person. I was so selfish before it's embarrassing! My DC are tweens now but I enjoy it more as they grow. I love their opinions and personalities.

ElspethFlashman · 29/08/2019 16:52

My 2 year old has been cross all afternoon, constantly whinging and looking for snacks and getting pissed off when I repeatedly said no. Little madam.

But then she shouted at me "I HAFF TO TELL YOU SOMETING MAMA! I LUFF YOU I LUFF YOU!" and it was like a choir of angels singing, lol.

1Wildheartsease · 29/08/2019 16:58

Congratulations OP! Being a parent is a truly wonderful experience and one that keeps developing and changing as you all grow up.

LIke you, I noticed how everyone focuses on the 'work' part of parenting - and now think it is perhaps because it sounds smug to celebrate how amazing the rest of it is.

When happy and childless we looked ahead and thought about whether to have a family or to remain as we were. Both options seemed to have positives and attempting to peer up the paths to those futures, they each looked equally good.

Having chosen the family path I now see that we were wrong to think so. There are wonders we just had no idea about.

You have many many treats ahead OP. I wish you joy.

Roselilly36 · 29/08/2019 17:02

Best thing I ever did, loved it all, would do it all again in a heartbeat if I could. Enjoy OP.

Bubbletrouble43 · 29/08/2019 17:11

Congratulations! My kids ( 3) are all amazing and the best thing that ever happened to me. Sure, some days my twins exhaust me and I found the baby stage tricky with all 3 but that is compensated over and over by the surge of love and awe I feel when I look at them. I've never felt anything else like it. Sorry if that's cheesy! Plus, ime toddlers are THE MOST HILARIOUS people on the planet. I crack up every day ( even the days I cry too!) Enjoy Xxxx

Shooturlocalmethdealer · 29/08/2019 17:15

It's a love like no other. Your whole world changes for the good and sometimes not so good. Dont wish their small childhood away, enjoy it. Babies dont keep. They will eventually grow up. Then you can breathe a sigh of relief 🤣

DeniseRoyal · 29/08/2019 17:15

Being a parent is really tough sometimes, but I love being a mother. The love you feel for your children is like nothing else you will ever feel. I wish I had done it sooner!! Having a good support network can make all the difference, and finding a tribe of good mum mates. 😊

hlr1987 · 29/08/2019 17:58

My small kids love me more than anything else in the world right now, and the pure joy I get from someone being able to tell me they think I'm their universe would make me sound like I pity everyone else for not being loved this much! It's more socially acceptable to moan than brag about how much you love them, and how brilliant they are, and how much you wish you would rather listen to them talk nonsense than whoever is actually in front of you!

xtinak · 29/08/2019 18:19

I wonder what I need to do to feel the same way as everyone on this thread. I'm so jealous reading it. I wish I felt like that. I don't even quite get the earth shattering unconditional love part.

IdahoGreen · 29/08/2019 18:25

When happy and childless we looked ahead and thought about whether to have a family or to remain as we were. Both options seemed to have positives and attempting to peer up the paths to those futures, they each looked equally good.

Having chosen the family path I now see that we were wrong to think so. There are wonders we just had no idea about.

I don't agree, actually (was childless by choice until almost 40, when I had my son). I adore him, but think that had we stayed child-free, we'd have been equally happy in a different way.

And being a mother hasn't caused any fundamental change in my personality, nor do I regard my child as my finest achievement. He's his own achievement. I only want some minor credit for not throwing him out the window at some point when he showed up at 3 am wanting a story.

TinyMystery · 29/08/2019 18:27

Sometimes I catch myself grinning to myself about how lovely DS (1) is so it can’t be all bad! And often DH and I spend ages looking at photos and videos of him once he’s in bed 😂

gotmychocolateimgood · 29/08/2019 18:34

Today I watched my son swim across the pool in deep water for the first time. He was having a lesson and I was watching from the side. I was so proud of him (he's only 5 and only started swimming 4 weeks ago). He was beaming when he came out if the water.

Just a snapshot of the good stuff.