Does anyone have anything positive to say about being a parent?

[Wiltshirelass2019]

Just about to have my first baby and all I seem to read is that being a parent is drudgery. Everyone with kids tells me my life is over and I’ll never sleep again. It’s really getting me down. Aibu or do people with kids never seem to have anything nice to say about parenting when you’re pregnant? I’m shitting myself 😭

It's not easy and there is definitely a fair whack of drudgery especially in the beginning but on the whole I'd recommend it.

Yes there are dishes to wash and clothes to clean and floors to sweep and more picking up of toys than you would care to imagine but there is also lots of lovely tender moments and proud moments and laughing and general good times too.

And you will sleep again and do adult things again eventually.

It's exhausting and a bit scary and makes you grow up (even if you already thought you were grown up before) but it's also bloody brilliant.

I didn't enjoy the baby bit at all. Once she started talking it all improved dramatically. She is the sunshine in my day! We both love a hug and if I could I'd just sit her in my lap 24/7 with my arms wrapped round her sniffing her head (she is 8 so this really isn't possible!!!)

She is away this week with her Dad and whilst it is nice to just be a grown up for a bit I really miss her and I am looking forward to cuddling her on Sunday when she gets back.

Parenting is tough but so very worthwhile!

The absolute unconditional love you will feel and receive. Seeing your child smile at you is the best feeling in the world. Watching them grow into proper people, who are a mix of you and their dad and seeing flashes if your families characteristics in their expressions and thinking 'I made that person'.
They are funny and interesting, even when they are being stroppy and rude.
Nothing prepares you for the level of worry though - you will never be just you again. Everything you do will be through the prism of what is best for your child and even when they are grown up you can only really be happy if they are happy. I wish I'd known that but even if I had,vi don't think I would have understood it.
Having my children was the best thing that ever happened to me.

He's a funny wee thing and my house looks like the Lego factory vomited

We may share a seven year old, @elQuintoConyo. Including the arriving in your bed in the small hours, fussy eating, Minecraft obsession, and Brazil-sized imagination.

Do you sit around occasionally and just admire yours, as if you'd created the Messiah or something? I find I do.

Also going to second a pp, the first six weeks suck balls (and hurt) but it's all up from there really

DS 22 months is an absolute delight! We live on a fairly busy road and he points out every car/bike/tractor that goes past! Has us in stitches how he can find it so interesting to do it for as long as he does, he’s also just started saying the colours of them too!🤣 he cuddles me, tells me he loves me and every bedtime says “kiss kiss night night” (however he does still wake through the night) it’s the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done!

I love being a parent. It's only drudgery if you make it that way in my experience (4 babies). It's full of joy, amazing, very cuddly, like reliving your childhood when you show them things you used to enjoy. That's not to say it's not tiring and hard work but it you pick the right partner it's a lot easier.

Oh thank you for replying everyone. It means a lot 🥰 I’m feeling better about things already x

I've got two under two currently and I'm nearly 35 weeks pregnant with #3.

They're a handful, and it has its moments of utter stress, but they're hilarious! They seriously bring you so much joy and hilarity sometimes, and watching a tiny human develop is extraordinary.

You learn so much about yourself through them - even from the tiniest facial expressions - my daughter squints at me if I say something she thinks is daft, something I didn't realise I actually do to people myself (husband pointed that out).

The unconditional love is a whole other level, I love having cuddles and kisses and just their undivided attention when I'm doing something as mundane as chopping veges.

It's worth it, 100%

Congrats

I absolutely love parenting. It is the best thing I have ever done. Dd in her teens now, and I have loved watching her grow. Every stage is different and I enjoyed that variety. I only have one, so maybe that's easier.

I enjoy looking after her, and seeing her happy. To watch her grow from a squishy newborn into a young woman has been an absolute privilege. Children are so innocent, and to watch the world through their eyes brings a whole new perspective. I feel like the luckiest person on the planet most days (of course we all have hard days!).

Agree with another poster- never predicted how much I'd laugh. Dd is really funny, and since she was a baby we have laughed together so much. We don't have much money, but we are rich in love and in adventures. So grateful that I have her.

Also, they are fascinated by the most ordinary things, which is funny and makes you see the world through children's eyes sometimes and that's a nice feeling. I remember having to cross the road with 4 year old ds so we could look into the hole the workmen were digging on the pavement.

I was exhausted and so busy and didn’t really have my brain to myself any more...but for the first 18 months of my daughter’s life I honestly never shed a tear. I was just so happy with her. I then got pregnant again (17 weeks now) and the new batch of hormones brought the water works back lol!

But my god my daughter is the best best BEST thing that ever happened to me. I would do it again and again to have her in a heartbeat. She makes me laugh and my heart burst every day!

Being a parent has made me fundamentally less selfish. Because nothing else matters as much as her.

People won’t tell you how amazing it is half the time because it sounds like bragging! And we Brits don’t do that do we. And to be honest it is a slog. But the best kind of slog.

Congrats on your pregnancy, OP.

Also you will see yourself in your child and it is so surreal and amazing. Just a gesture or a look and you think wow you really are mine and no-one else’s (well and the father obvs.)

The other day my daughter picked up a stick and started hobbling around like the grandma in Moana! Just silly funny things she does. They get excited when they see a plane go overhead! You see the world through fresh eyes (theirs), it is so refreshing and innocent and simplifies everything in the best way.

My children give my life meaning, they make my short time on earth a wonderful experience. Don't bother about people's negative comments, your love for your baby will get you through anything.

Christmas, Halloween etc soooo much more fun!

I have had at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night since about week 2

Ha ha. Only a mother would think that 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep was something brilliant.

OP - yes - you will be deprived of sleep for a while and having a newborn in your life changes everything but I promise you that it's worth it.

I have four and I do not regret it at all.

You'll enjoy (most of) it.

Once I got to understand how to do the baby stuff, I loved it! It's definitely the best thing I've ever done and I had an interesting, varied life with an exciting professional career prior to my own family so I'm not making that statement without anything to compare it with. I am not particularly self conscious and I enjoy the playing and singing that toddlers/infants seem to thrive on. My own childhood was full of books, musical instruments, having family Christmas Carol performances so to some extent I've replicated that a bit. My two are older now but loved the Julia Donaldson song books and we'd make up actions to the songs, I was in my element then! Now they're older I have the funniest conversations with my 12 year old and my youngest is lovely but not conventional. I was accidentally pregnant with my 3rd a couple of months ago and was over the moon but unfortunately I had a miscarriage. I genuinely feel privileged to have my children so even when it is not plain sailing it doesn't matter.

Agree @Bridget1983 they give every season a new meaning and excitement. I’m already looking at Christmas excursions!

I love it, maybe i got lucky but other than 3 weeks of reflux before we were given Gavison she's been an easy baby, she only fed 3 times in the night and soon fell back to sleep after a feed.
I did have bad baby blues for about 3 weeks though so cried a lot, keep an eye on that if it happens and if you get concerned speak to your HV/GP.
Every new milestone is amazing, their first smile, when they smile on seeing you is just the best way to start the day, as they try new foods, start with baby babble, baby giggles, crawling around at super speed.
As toddlers they are utterly bonkers! Have the best imaginations.
She ends my day at her bed time with 'love you mummy' :-)

It's tough, for sure. I have days where I wonder about my choices. But then my 3 & 6 year old cuddle me, tell me they love me & laugh. There's absolutely nothing like the feeling of your kids yelling & running & throwing their arms around you when you arrive. I've never felt so loved.

On a really tough day I wait, then watch them sleep. I'm not sure why, but your sleeping child washes away everything bad from the day! And yes, they do eventually sleep!!

The negative comments used to really annoy me as well. Accept parenthood will have difficult times, boring times & awesome times. And ignore the negativity, unfortunately it keeps coming.

All the cuddles - from snuggling with a newborn baby to the giant hugs I get from my sons who are now in their twenties and all taller than me.

The things they do that make you laugh - like ds3 calmly telling me that he had thumped ds2 'because he was looking grumpy, mummy!' Or my friend's younger dd getting irate because she thought her sister was telling lies about her - her sister had come to us and told us that 'dd2 said the F-word, mummy!", and she shouted from the other room 'NO I DIDN'T - I SAID FUCK!!' Or the time ds1 was having a huge tantrum, and I was on the phone to dh in tears, only to find when it went quiet that ds1 had found some leftover tortilla chips we'd put in the kitchen bin the night before, and was eating them. I was horrified but fearful that, if I stopped him from enjoying his snack, he'd start screaming again, so I let him carry on until he got bored - then I hid the bin.

Or the joy you feel when they achieve things - everything from the first steps and the first words to learning to read, to exams and degrees. Or seeing them become good friends both to their siblings and to their friendship groups. One of the things I love about ds2 is how good he is at choosing presents for friends and family - he has a sixth sense for the perfect gift.

Yes, the baby and toddler years are hard work, but there are so many compensations. I will confess that it is easier to see them in hindsight than at the time, but I promise you they are there - it can be hard to see the wood for the trees, but it is there if you look.

Good luck with your upcoming labour, @Wiltshirelass2019, and with all that follows it. You have so much joy to come, I promise.

I LOVE being a parent! I've got plenty of other sources of joy in my life (DH, amazing family, fab lucrative career, hobbies, friends) but I feel like my life has been doubly enriched since having DS. He's just 2, and he makes me bubble with happiness every day

Oh OP I feel you.

When I was pregnant with DS all people wanted to discuss was either how big I was, what sex he was or how awful parenting is.

You cant go out, you dont have freedom, you cant do this, they're a pain in the arse... blah blah blah... negative negative negative.

We only had one person say "Oh you're gonna love it, its awesome".

And it is. As far as I'm concerned.
You know you'll be tired (but you'll get through it), you know you'll be stressed (but you'll get through it).

Parenting is fucking awesome. DS is now 2 and he is brilliant!! That moment when he was put on my chest to feed. The moment I saw him in his father's arms. The moment my family came up to see us in the delivery room and marvelled at this little baby who had arrived. Those were amazing, unique moments and I wish I could have taken a picture to show you. That amazing feeling carried on and developed.

We fed him in the wee small hours if the morning. We played peek a boo. We watched him try to crawl. We watched him taking everything in. We watched him grow. I cried, I laughed (lots), DP and I argued, we made up, we did all the things that make you close as a family and we're still really close knit today. Not perfect (nothing ever is) but close enough for us.

Every day continues to be amazing. Every day brings new wonder and excitement. He still astounds me. I look at him while he sleeps and feel overwhelmed sometimes with how much joy and happiness and love he has brought.

It will be hard, sure. It will be an adjustment. But so far, in my experience, it has been one hell of a ride.

It's sheer joy most of the time. The rest of the time is worry (but that might be my character!). I agree with BohemianDream and am still sad I was only able to have one child, who is an adult now, but who still gives meaning to my life.

Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's not also rewarding.

I mentioned positives before. Most of mine come in the little things:
-Baby's first smile
-When one of my children used to male me (foul) luke warm cups of coffee when she heard the baby had kept me awake a lot at night.
-When my children refer to each other as 'best friends'
-When a toddler gives me a spontaneous sticky hug and says "I love you"
-Seeing my child master a new skill, whatever and whenever that might be - one of my favourites is when each has realised that simply closing their eyes doesn't mean they can't be seen during a game of hide and seek !
-When another parent tells me about/thanks me for a situation when my child was kind to or stuck up for theirs
-Each child's first nativity play

• looking at one of my children and it suddenly hitting me what a great human being they are growing up to be
• seeing the pure joy on my child's face as they do something they really enjoy
• Some of the challenging questions children ask and realising how inquisitive they naturally are
• Having a genuinely interesting conversation over dinner

That may seem a true list but those types of things are the positives for me. They far outweigh the negatives. They get me through the days when my children behave like little devils who have been sent specifically to torment me. Parenting involves a lot of boring, thankless repetitive work. And I'm not a parent who clings to the hope that my reward will be that I have the cleverest, most high achieving children who will end up in amazing world changing jobs. I take my positives in the head and now and hope I manage not to screw my children up too much and that they grow up to be decent human beings. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that's true for most parents.