Does anyone have anything positive to say about being a parent?

[Wiltshirelass2019]

Just about to have my first baby and all I seem to read is that being a parent is drudgery. Everyone with kids tells me my life is over and I’ll never sleep again. It’s really getting me down. Aibu or do people with kids never seem to have anything nice to say about parenting when you’re pregnant? I’m shitting myself 😭

I had severe PND and hated every minute if the first 6 months but I'd go through it all again to end up with my wonderful, funny, infuriating, loving, brilliant DD. She's 19mo and the absolute joy of my existence, even when she's driving me bonkers.

I got the same when I was pregnant. So negative and annoying. I'm so careful now that I only ever say positive things as it is a positive thing!!**

I am absolutely in love with my little boy, the cutest, funniest thing in the world, and I can’t wait to have my little girl (34 weeks pregnant at the moment). I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t any drudgery involved. It’s tough, exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming. But it’s so worth it.

I will try to think of one positive.

I know!!! You get to see birthdays and Christmas through your children’s eyes and that’s golden ♥️

Loved the baby stage- easy baby
but now I have a toddler and am back at work full time its so hard. I dont think people are negative on parenthood, but being a parent with all the other demands of life is serious drudgery at times,

It's so so hard at first, but it's not for very long. Get over the first 3 months and then it just gets better and better. I have an 18 month old and he is everything - so happy and excited by the world around him. He flings himself at me for a hug whenever I collect him from nursery and blows me a sloppy kiss goodbye when I leave for work. He is blissfully happy just to be around me, doesn't need to be doing anything expensive or life changing as long as he's got company and interaction. The only times he shingles are when he's left too long to entertain himself!

Oh, and he started sleeping through 10pm - 6am routinely from 13 weeks, and now does 7.30pm - 6.30am most nights. You can crack it.

I don't know what you've been reading but steer clear of it in future.

Sure there are tough times, and the very fact it's absolutely relentless is exhausting (though my view on that may be slightly skewed as I have fibromyalgia and other conditions), but it's completely worth it.

My dd is 4 now. And I can honestly say each stage of development seems amazing and fills you with joy. From murmuring & babbling noises, steps, rolling over, full conversations and playing games to when they correct you on your grammar etc.

There are frustrating times like anything else. But I honestly wouldn't change it. I would go back and relive these past 4 years in a heartbeat!

Good luck.

(P.s. I advise packing baby nail clippers in your hospital bag. Mine came out with long nails and was constantly scratching her face. She had to live in onesies with in-built mittens for longer than I can remember!)

*whinges. Not sure where shingles came from...

I love how happy he is to see me in the mornings - when they start to recognise your face as a baby and you hear that little gurgle as you look in. Now he’s 3 and hops out as soon as he sees me go in!

He’s a little comedian and when they can talk it’s just hilarious. Asking you to play with them is just wonderful and just laying and having kisses and cuddles could make my heart pop!

I didn’t like some bits at all and there are times I find it horrendous now but overall it’s awesome. I’ve been lucky in that he’s been a good sleeper on the whole. We had an awful couple of months where we had to sit on his bedroom floor till he fell asleep and even now I feel he takes me hostage a lot as it’s so hard getting out of his bedroom after bedtime stories some nights. But then the other times he says thank you for things or when he just comes and sits and puts his hand on your arm while he watches telly or giggles at something he sees make it all better!!

It’s hard - dear lord it’s hard. But it gets easier. And the excuses for fun at Christmas and Halloween make it all the more amazing.

My DS is 13 weeks tomorrow and it's honestly been the best 3 months of my life. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I haven't washed my hair in almost a week. Yes it's 1.30pm and I haven't showered yet. But, he's incredible and so bloody worth it.

I thought the newborn stage would be so boring but he literally learns something new every day or does something different and it melts my heart. His newest thing is when he opens his eyes after a sleep and sees his dad or me, he immediately smiles. It makes me so happy.

He's absolutely fantastic and worth every sleepless night.

I love my son more than anyone else in the world. I think people say it to be nice, in their own weird way, because it is hard at times... though I do think some babies are more difficult than others. You will never know a love like it

I honestly wonder what I did for entertainment before kids, they're so funny. I wasn't sure I was the maternal type before having kids but I LOVE being a mum and have never been as happy. It's bloody hard work, but worth it.

I think anyone who says they have loved every minute must have souls made of endless patience.

It’s usually only about 9am when I’m bored of my kids saying poo and chucking my sofa cushions on the floor. Yeah they’re only little things, but the little things add up!

Mine are 12, 10 and 5.

The sleepless nights, exhaustion, boredom and loneliness of the baby years are a distant memory. Instead I remember the laughs, the love, the cuddles. I finally know what it feels like to be so proud I could burst. I have 3 little friends who love me unconditionally, who look up to me, who want to be with me all the time, who come running to me whenever they have exciting (to them) news. I have made so many new friends through my children's circles. It's honestly the best, most important thing I have ever done.

I love being a parent! I have 1 DD who's 3 and she's hilariously funny, sweet and loving and so cheeky. She makes every day so much better. Being a parent has brought the best out of me as a person and in my career as well so that hasn't suffered in any way.

If it was so bad, everyone would stop at 1

My daughter is 16 months. I love nothing more than being a mum! I hate the fact everyone used to tell me all what you've been heard but it is how you make it !

Enjoy the 1st year. After that, you won't be sitting down haha! Honestly nothing beats it !

Maybe everyone just has nicer children than me

Watching them grow, learn and change is such a heart warming experience. It never ceases to make me (internally!) burst with pride.
I love my tiny humans, no regrets even though some parts are hard.

Having my daughter is the best thing I've ever done in my life. I only wish I'd done it sooner. Sure, there are tough moments, but they are completely overshadowed y the sheer joy they bring to your life.

I'm having my 2nd daughter next week and cannot wait. The sleepless nights are so worth it.

You will be absolutely fine, ignore the people trying to worry you, you are about to start an amazing adventure.

There are aspects of parenting that I've found really, really hard and I actually wish I'd had people around me during my first pregnancy who were more brutally honest about the downsides. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt a failure because I didn't feel "blessed" every minute of every day.

There are times when I look at my DC and my heart feels so full of love I swear it's about to burst. But there are also times when I feel so exhausted or overwhelmed that I want to run away and hide. DD is so quick witted, clever and full of curiosity about the world, she makes me so proud every day. But she's also stubborn, strong willed and knows exactly how to push my buttons. DS is wonderfully mischievous and funny, his smile melts my heart and his head smells amazing. But he also wakes multiple times in the night every night, often refuses to nap and is up for the day at 5am. I love them both and would do anything for them. But I would be lying if I said there weren't times when I feel a pang of longing for the freedom and spontaneity of my old 'child-free' life. For me parenthood brings a lot of joy and laughter but also a lot of worry. Everyone is different but personally, I find the baby and toddler years particularly tough but I think it gets a lot easier from age 3 onwards.

Ok so, unplanned pregnancy, really bad antenatal depression, partner didn't want child, horrendous birth (84 hours, EMCS) and then when he was one i discovered I had a birth defect, I couldn't walk or drive at all and needed an emergency hip replacement. Its been the hardest nearly 3 years of my life and at times I've struggled to even look at my son.

BUT..... There really is something amazing about it. Loads of boring, drudgey, messy and knackering bits.... But you discover a part of your heart you would never have felt otherwise. They teach you things, things I can't even put my finger on, and make you a better person.

I adore my son. I'm a good mum. Is it really hard sometimes, yes, but does it make life worth living. Fuck yes.

Hang on in there. Some bits will be crap and you'll hate them but they pass. Some moments will be so wonderful you won't be able to hold back the tears.

Its a rollercoaster, and it's a huge part of life, you'll feel a lot more human having participated.

Good luck and just keep going, you're winning

PS feel absolutely no desire to do it all again tho...

I think people love to moan and won't normally take to the internet or forums to brag about how happy they are and how they don't need help.

It depends on your personality, I went from a full time career and studying to just being at home, staring at 4 walls waiting for DH to come home. It wasn't until I applied my personality to the situation that I actually started to enjoy it. I had something planned every day, wether it was a baby group, meeting up with my mum for lunch, or driving to a particular park for a walk or meeting a friend (didn't happen often, they were all at work!) and I gave myself a Friday off. It sounds bizarre but once I applied a structured routine I felt much more in control and less negative about time in general.

I get enough alone time with DH, I can go out for dinner with a friend because DH will be home and vice versa. It is what you make it.
Seeing the world through your child's eyes is wonderful.

There is a lot of routine and drudgery but you are keeping small people clean, fed and stimulated. That means laundry, cooking and playing games. You eventually find your groove and it isn't that bad at all.

Accept all offers of support and lower your food and cleanliness standards for the first year

It's wonderful OP, don't worry. Yes it is hard, harder than I imagined, but the love, fun, and joy they bring into your life is just... soooo worth it.

I say this from my current position in the trenches with a testing 3 y.o. and a baby who doesn't sleep. So if I can see the positives then they must exist!

My DD has just gone back to school today (she’s 14) and I missed her before if even dropped her off. My first years with her were very challenging, but even back then I wouldn’t have been without her.