11 yo DD & Hotter Shoes

[TheClitterati]

X took DD school shoe shopping. We discussed getting DM,s or Clark's. DD now has a pair of Hotter black school shoes. Aren't they for the over 50's?
Will this potentially ruin dds first year at high school?

WIBU to raise the matter and suggest we return them?

NB: This would also mean I'd have to spend this weekend looking for School shoes.

AIBU?
WWYD?

Are they wide fit? Perhaps they're comfy.

@iamthere123
Are you serious? She made a jokey remark but that’s her now nasty and probably a bully?
My DD is a mentor at her school and is more than aware of the things kids get bullied for, yes in your fluffy world it wouldn’t happen but it does, and if as a parent you can guide your child and not set them up as a target then that’s all for the better. Teenagers can be cruel and speak without thinking, even a casual ‘oh look at the granny shoes’ can devastate a child even if it’s not meant nastily.
You know nothing about my child so unless you have brought up perfect children keep your ignorant comments to yourself; it’s ironic that you can’t see your own bullying attitude.

They just look like black lace up shoes to me am I missing something.

They do look a bit "soft" however. Not sure they will stand up to the school stamped.

The kickers look like trainers so those wont be allowed

They do look a bit like trendy bowling shoes, if you don’t know the reputation of hotter... different laces and a red hot trendy backpack that she adores and will confuse potential bullies who look for people who don’t fit their insecurity driven template

Is there such a thing as “trendy bowling shoes”?

If the students at our local school are anything to go by, all the girls will be wearing completely unsuitable ballet flats in all weathers (with a few pairs of loafers or DMs being worn by the brave ), so anything outside of this is going to invite comment.

@iamthere - bookworm's DD is voicing her secondary school experience. Back down FFS (oh I know I'm a nasty bully).

I don't understand how people say they look like trainers and keep linking to popular shoes that are so different!

@Bookworm4 what your daughter does is commendable and she probably wouldn’t dream of actually saying anything to a child at school. But you are her parent and it is your job to teach her that her attitude is not correct. Also you’ve still not answered my question? Is it ok “in your world” for the disabled child to be bullied for her footwear or do you think that adults should be ensuring that their children know that fashion isn’t everything and maybe there is a reason for the shoes they wear? I bet that your daughter, if you were to mention it to her, would be likely to be aware of that as part of her mentoring job. Instead her mum seems to be avoiding the issue of whether it’s ok for a disabled child to be accused of wearing ‘granny shoes’ because the adults round them won’t step up and mention to their kids that it is wrong and their might be a medical reason for ‘unfashionable’ shoes.

The irony of someone on here name calling whilst complaining about name calling....

Why are you picking on Bookworm? 99% of everyone posting (including me) are saying the same thing.

Dd said they are bloody awful and she wouldn't be seen dead in them, she said it to me after I asked her, it doesn't mean she'd say it to anyone wearing them, and I'd have words with her if she did.
Having an opinion doesn't make you a bully.

@iamthere123
The child here does not have a disability, it was a discussion about shoes but in MNland we always have ‘hidden disability’ ‘mh’ ‘sen’ brought out during the most innocuous discussions.
My DD is well aware of ‘hidden’ issues but plenty kids are not that, very few teenagers are woke to that level and stop and analyse before blabbing some remark.
Please can you just stop with your agenda it’s really not appropriate here, you haven’t remarked on any of the countless adults horrified by the shoes but targetted a short reply I made jokingly, can you still not see the irony in your behaviour? You yourself have targetted and namecalled a 14 yr old you don’t know.

I wear hotter shoes to work on my feet all day because comfort and durability, and I'm 35. But they are an old people's shoes brand and I wouldn't buy for a school child, no.
You can at least put some insoles in to hide the hotter logo.

I once got a pair of patent leather shoes for school thay I loved. Got picked out and teased for it straight away. I can't remember being overly scarred for life about it, not what if anything I actually did about the shoes.

All that matters with shoes is comfort and what the wearer thinks of them.

I'm 44 and really like some Hotter shoes. I wear Gabor heels for work - like air stewardess shoes basically. My flat feet are much better with a small heel. Despite being knock-kneed, flat-footed, misaligned hips, one leg longer than the other and a big toe going inwards on my right foot, I still get compliments about how nice my feet are. Good. I really bloody look after them.

You're overthinking this, they're plain black shoes, I doubt anyone will be paying that much attention.
You're also assuming that these 11/12 year olds will have heard of the brand and associate it with old ladies - I hadn't heard of it before today.

Wow so many replies - thanks all for your thoughts. There's a bit of a split of opinion isn't there?

I think choosing to wear these ugly Hotters shoes when you are 30 or 40 is entirely different to picking them blindly at age 11. Even at Y8, once she knows the lay of the land at school I wouldn't be worried if she chose them. But kids can be ridiculously cruel and I really can't afford to buy another pair if it all goes tits up.

I've spoken with XP and DD this morning - as I suspected these were chosen in a state of shopping fatigue, and as most other options in DD's size were unavailable. They had been shopping for 5 hours - took 3 hours to buy trainers!!! I know I know.

DD really wanted these Kickers - they were not available in her size in the shops -hardly suprising at this time of year.

www.kickers.co.uk/adult-tovni-lacer-p6309?awc=16625_1567068356_2b2e4df124da83e6d45d061367356bcd&utm_source=aw&utm_medium=affiliate

She thought the Hotters were as close as she could get to the Kickers and they just wanted it all to end.

DD has had Kicker boots before and wasn't really keen on them so it's not that she needs to wear a certain brand.

School is quite strict re uniform - no trainers, no boots.

Neither I or DD are particularly brand focused (I make most of my own clothes ). I'm the queen of fugly comfy shoes & have ankle issues so never wear heels. I have three pairs of Ecco boots & they are gorgeous.

DD's new PE trainers are Nike and are the first pair of branded trainers she's ever had. She is really thrilled with them .

DD will be walking to school so comfort is a priority and I've vetoed the ballerina style shoes as impractical - not that she would ask for those anyway.

So the Hotters will be returned - she's not particularly devoted to them at all. She thought they were as close to the Kickers as we would find. The Kickers are available online and are quite a bit cheaper that the Hotters.

Can't believe I had a fairly sleepless night over this!! I started high school a month late and my Mum brought me the wrong shoes - I had worn them before we knew this and so they couldn't be returned. There was no question of buying a new pair. I had to wear them for THREE years getting bullied/made fun of by kids and picked on & hassled by teachers (like I could buy myself new shoes age 13!!) - it was horrible. So yeah, I really don't want DD to experience anything like that - its unnecessary.

Oh & I raised the matter with DD very gently - I didn't "shame her individuality" as some here thought I might be doing. I said we could exchange them and get some Kickers if she wanted to & she hugged me, thanked me and told me I was the best Mum ever.

Seriously op
Those will likely get her sent home.

Too trainery And with tabs.

Dont know why they care so much however I would advise you re think.

My DD14 looked at them and said is her mum having a laugh? I did say the dad was responsible 🤣

Thank you @Bookworm4

Thankfully her Dad is absolutely into changing them and getting different shoes so he is somewhat redeemed.

@SmellMySmellbow sadly DM's are no longer what they used to be. I've worn them all my life but doubt I will buy another paid as the quality is now so bad. The leather is very hard and they take A LOT of breaking in.

Having said that I did like the look of the DM school shoes but they are more than twice the price of the Kickers and I don't think they would be as good.

@SarahTancredi I've actually emailed the school to ask if they are OK before I buy them.

Its so silly as they say no "trainers" but allow silly ballerina flats etc. Hopefully the Kickers will be OK - they aren't trainers as I think of trainers. And if those Kickers are declined for being trainers then the Hotters we have would fail the same test & I'm back to square one.

@TheClitterati
Sensible choice 😉 My awful nasty DD has lace ups docs shoes, bit hard to break in but they last forever. Good luck to your girl at high school ⭐️

thank you and thank you DD for he advice.

her

Hotter shoes are grim 🤣