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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment about sick leave AIBU to report?

143 replies

Fireinthegrate · 28/08/2019 15:37

Had to take Tuesday off work as I had a streaming cold over the bank hol weekend.
Went back today and a colleague commented about how I had had a lovely extra long weekend in the sun.
I had been to a country park on the Sunday morning and had put a pic of my dog swimming in the lake.

However I spent the rest of that day, and Monday and Tuesday on the sofa and didn’t go out again .
I am rarely off sick unlike other people at work who seem to take weeks off at a time for ‘stress ‘.
I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it.
I take one day off and get comments.
Was I unreasonable to have reported this to my manager? My manager is not my colleagues manager.
Colleague and I don’t do the same job.

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 28/08/2019 15:40

YABU to have reported them over a comment that was probably half jokey

NoBaggyPants · 28/08/2019 15:40

Very petty to report a trivial comment.

You do realise that stress related illness can be very debilitating, and left unresolved can result in severe mental illness?

TitianaTitsling · 28/08/2019 15:40

Sorry but do you make statements about people being off with 'stress', that's also quite unkind!

EmeraldShamrock · 28/08/2019 15:41

I think it was lighthearted.

IAmBannedAgainTheBastards · 28/08/2019 15:41

I wouldn't report them. Did you say something to them at the time?

BlueCornsihPixie · 28/08/2019 15:43

I mean what do you expect if you take the Tuesday off after bank holiday? Yes you were sick, but you are going to get jokes about it

You sound like a dick about the stress.

Birdnerd · 28/08/2019 15:43

This reply has been deleted

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PurpleDaisies · 28/08/2019 15:43

Did you really report that comment?

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 28/08/2019 15:44

I think it was lighthearted

It doesn't sound lighthearted to me.

It sounds like the OP doesn't understand or care about people with mental health disorders.

IHaveBrilloHair · 28/08/2019 15:45

Very petty

IsobelRae23 · 28/08/2019 15:45

Wow you are so perfect you’ve never taken time off with stress, well done resilient you. Just remember for future reference that not everyone copes the same. Therefore you only had a cold, you should have been in work, much easier to work with a cold than stress.

TheCatsACunt · 28/08/2019 15:45

You’re being ridiculous.

What do you expect your manager to do with your “report”?

IAskTooManyQuestions · 28/08/2019 15:47

I had been to a country park on the Sunday morning and had put a pic of my dog swimming in the lake.

See, this is what pissed your colleague off, If you're well enough to go for a stroll in the park, you’re well enough to go to work.

I'd be wary of making a vexatious complaint about your colleague - I’ve seen people disciplined over innocuous facebook posts, just like yours, and drummed out for a gross misconduct

ButterflyOne1 · 28/08/2019 15:48

YABVVU. It's a petty comment. You need to grow a thicker skin. I would never dream of calling in sick with a cold. I've been in work when I've had a chest infection and on antibiotics before.

HariboLecter · 28/08/2019 15:48

Went back today and a colleague commented about how I had had a lovely extra long weekend in the sun.

Sounds like something that we would say where I work (as a joke/light-hearted comment)

Original poster
Fireinthegrate · 28/08/2019 15:49

I work in mental health so do understand about stress, but I’m afraid some people take the mick with time off.

The comment she made was not in a jokey or lighthearted tone of voice

I could not have gone into work with ‘just a cold, because I could not stop sneezing, my face was itchy and I couldn’t wear my contact lenses because of the sneezing and streaming.

I don’t expect my manager to take my complaint higher but I do expect my colleague to be spoken to about it.

And No I don’t make comments to other people about being off work with stress or anything else.

OP posts:
Expressedways · 28/08/2019 15:50

Between the comment about stress and reporting a colleague to management for a trivial, lighthearted remark YABVVU. Glad I don’t work with you!

dollydaydream114 · 28/08/2019 15:50

YABU to report such a tiny comment and YABU to sneer about other people having time off with stress. You're getting into a right state over a ridiculously trivial remark.

Cauliflowerpower · 28/08/2019 15:50

Colleague probably didn't even realise you were off sick if you don't do the same job. Just noticed you weren't there and commented on your long weekend...

Poor thing!

Disfordarkchocolate · 28/08/2019 15:51

I wouldn't have reported it, and I'm deeply offended by your comment about colleagues with mental health problems. They are very unreasonable.

Sarcelle · 28/08/2019 15:52

It can be said in a jokey way, it depends on the relationship in the team. My team is toxic so comments like this are said all the time, chipping away at people's confidence in a piecemeal way. They are "innocuous" enough in isolation but taken altogether they can be corrosive.

dollydaydream114 · 28/08/2019 15:52

I work in mental health

Bloody hell.

NoBaggyPants · 28/08/2019 15:54

Please tell us you don't have an input on patient care.

It's your ignorance that needs reporting to your manager.

MamaFlintstone · 28/08/2019 15:54

Unless there’s a massive backstory it’s a petty thing to do to report that comment. On the other hand, if I heard comments like those you’ve just made about stress, I’d report that.

PlinkPlink · 28/08/2019 15:55

I had 3-4 months off work. I had a mental breakdown at 25 years of age. I'd been assaulted a few years previously and hadn't dealt with it properly. I did not discuss this with my colleagues (because I didnt have to) and there were several who had stupid ideas in their heads about why I did take time off.

It would be unwise to criticise others for taking time off for stress.

Some people would frown on you taking time off for a cold, which in the grand scheme of things can seem quite minor to others.

It sounds like your colleague was either being a dick or just making a joke. Either way, it really didnt need escalation to your manager. It just needed a shrug of the shoulders because it is none of your colleagues business what you take time off for or are ill with.

If they kept making a joke and making an issue out of it then yes, escalate. But just the once does not warrant escalation.