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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Comment about sick leave AIBU to report?

143 replies

Fireinthegrate · 28/08/2019 15:37

Had to take Tuesday off work as I had a streaming cold over the bank hol weekend.
Went back today and a colleague commented about how I had had a lovely extra long weekend in the sun.
I had been to a country park on the Sunday morning and had put a pic of my dog swimming in the lake.

However I spent the rest of that day, and Monday and Tuesday on the sofa and didn’t go out again .
I am rarely off sick unlike other people at work who seem to take weeks off at a time for ‘stress ‘.
I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it.
I take one day off and get comments.
Was I unreasonable to have reported this to my manager? My manager is not my colleagues manager.
Colleague and I don’t do the same job.

OP posts:

HeckyPeck · 28/08/2019 16:15

If you're well enough to go for a stroll in the park, you’re well enough to go to work.

I’d rather my colleagues didn’t come in and spread their colds around thanks very much!

user1493759849 · 28/08/2019 16:17

Shocked at your comments tbh @Fireinthegrate

Do you really work in mental health? Even with your attitude to people having time off with stress?

I seriously hope that your superior at work tells you to jog on with your silly complaint about nothing!

And as some posters have said, 'you had a COLD.' And yet you have the nerve to diss people who have time off with stress. Stress is a killer disease. Did you not know that?

FFS.

Baguetteaboutit · 28/08/2019 16:17

Just sounds like hayfever anyway with those symptoms.

Shoxfordian · 28/08/2019 16:17

Your colleague probably just assumed you booked a day off. You're being unreasonable

WishMyNameWasWittyNotShitty · 28/08/2019 16:17

Did your colleague not mean the long weekend in general....you know the 3 day one that all workers who don't aren't required to work weekends or bank holidays have just had?

If you don't work together your colleague may not have been aware you was off sick on Tuesday and was merely passing the time of day with you.....something that I imagine they will now actively avoid if it was the case.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 28/08/2019 16:19

In some of the places i''ve worked, our sickness programmes would flag it as highly suspicious that you had one day off sick immediately after a bank holiday with a "cold".
The fact that you apparently work in mental health and feel it's ok to behave like this, including your other comments about other people's time off is very depressing.
Hope that helps.

Pretendapony · 28/08/2019 16:20

How can you have a day off with a measly cold and then make a flippant comment about stress! I was stressed in a previous role that made me suicidal. I’d be driving home from work wishing I’d just crash the car and die so I didn’t have to make the decision myself. It’s a horrible place to be and I wouldn’t downplay it. You don’t know what is going on in people’s lives.

CreatedBySombra · 28/08/2019 16:23

A "cold" that didn't appear until after you'd gone to a park and conveniently ended a day after a one day extension to a bank holiday weekend is far more suspicious than someone off work with "stress".

I'd probably make a backhanded comment like that to you too...especially as you don't have a leg to stand on in terms of making a complaint.

Wind your neck in and stop being dismissive of other people's health problems. Maybe then you can complain about other people being dismissive of yours No wonder mental health services are struggling with attitudes like yours being part of the workforce!

Cheeseoncrumpets · 28/08/2019 16:24

YABVU, and petty. Get a grip OP.

360eyes · 28/08/2019 16:24

Some of you need to have a look at your own spiteful comments before branding the OP as hysterical

QualCheckBot · 28/08/2019 16:24

I think you're pushing it on both issues OP. Surely everyone is aware by now that employers can go through FB and flag this sort of post up to interview you about. And then reporting your colleague about this. Do you like creating extra work for people unnecessarily?

Saddler · 28/08/2019 16:25

What are you going to report them for? 😂

C0untDucku1a · 28/08/2019 16:28

You had a day off work because you wouldnt be able to wear your contact lenses?

You sound like a proper nob op.

ChicCroissant · 28/08/2019 16:29

YABU, OP and I hope this isn't real!

steff13 · 28/08/2019 16:29

You were very unreasonable to report that comment. If this person isn't in your department, how do you know he/she even knew you were off sick? Maybe they thought you had just taken an extra day off.

And, even if it was a snide comment, so what? I really think people don't let things go as often as they should. No wonder everyone is so stressed, getting upset about such petty slights.

Tableclothing · 28/08/2019 16:31

I work in mental health

Please tell me you're an administrator.

By reporting the comment to your boss, you

make it into a much bigger deal than it is
look incredibly petty
alienate said colleague
risk getting into trouble, tbh, if your boss views your Facebook posting/absence in the same light as your colleague.

If you must have colleagues on Facebook, you need to be a lot more careful about what you post.

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 28/08/2019 16:31

Actually if I had a colleague who was well enough to go for a long walk on the Sunday and then by the Tuesday couldn't come into work, but was fine by the Wednesday, I'd be a bit too. You couldn't wear your contact, but surely you have glasses?

I think it was a jokey comment but for whatever reason you've taken it and ran with it. Unless there is a huge backstory your not giving us here, a lighthearted comment about having an extra day for the bank holiday isn't really worth reporting. It's annoying yes, but that's what some people are like - maybe like you, she too feels annoyed at other people taking the mick with the sickness policy?

The comment about stress and piss taking is just woefully ignorant and absurdly judgemental of other people's problems. MH work is some of the hardest, most thankless tasks and to belittle other people's reasons speaks volumes.

StarlingsInSummer · 28/08/2019 16:36

I am rarely off sick unlike other people at work who seem to take weeks off at a time for ‘stress ‘.
I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it

YABU for this comment.

FuckFacePlatapus · 28/08/2019 16:37

Oh for goidness sake @Fireinthegrate get a grip, who phones in sick with a cold? If i was your boss i would do nothing about it but tell you to move on.

SunshineCake · 28/08/2019 16:40

Some people have no thought process. She was well when she went to the park THEN subsequently became ill. So next time you get Poorly with something after you've got home from work that day be sure to remember this thread and go in the next day .

Funghi · 28/08/2019 16:42

You should probably report yourself to your line manager for the ‘stress comment’, seeing as though you feel so strongly about coworkers not taking sick days seriously.

Nottheduchess · 28/08/2019 16:46

Probably hay fever from being in the country park all weekend, should have taken an antihistamine. Itchy eyes and constant sneezing? Probably not a cold. YABU about phoning in sick with that anyway, as well as being U about reporting your colleague.

Drabarni · 28/08/2019 16:46

I doubt you work in mh you wouldn't have been so nasty towards people with stress.
I hope your manager backs your colleague tbh.

NeatFreakMama · 28/08/2019 16:46

If one of my employees came to me with this I would advise them to go and speak to the other person directly. You're both adults, it is not the job of your manager to referee small arguments.

beccarocksbaby · 28/08/2019 16:49

Jesus this has got to be the most petty complaint I've ever seen. Especially if you dumped your colleagues in the shit with the sick day off. Roll your eyes and get on with your job.

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