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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Comment about sick leave AIBU to report?

143 replies

Fireinthegrate · 28/08/2019 15:37

Had to take Tuesday off work as I had a streaming cold over the bank hol weekend.
Went back today and a colleague commented about how I had had a lovely extra long weekend in the sun.
I had been to a country park on the Sunday morning and had put a pic of my dog swimming in the lake.

However I spent the rest of that day, and Monday and Tuesday on the sofa and didn’t go out again .
I am rarely off sick unlike other people at work who seem to take weeks off at a time for ‘stress ‘.
I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it.
I take one day off and get comments.
Was I unreasonable to have reported this to my manager? My manager is not my colleagues manager.
Colleague and I don’t do the same job.

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 28/08/2019 15:55

I hope your attitude to stress doesn't spill over into your work in mental health? Judging by the fact you are so easily offended and so judgemental about other peoples mental health I wouldn't d be surprised if it does though.

TheCatsACunt · 28/08/2019 15:55

I don’t expect my manager to take my complaint higher but I do expect my colleague to be spoken to about it

User what policy?

Really bugs me when people “report” shite to management but don’t want anything done about it. Your manager can’t tirn around to the other employee and say “Grate is very upset about what you said but don’t worry about it, she doesn’t want me to escalate it. Just FYI, so forget about it now”.

TheCatsACunt · 28/08/2019 15:56

^Under what policy, not user.

AryaStarkWolf · 28/08/2019 15:57

I work in mental health so do understand about stress, but I’m afraid some people take the mick with time off.

You're assuming they're taking the mick, how is that any different to what your colleague did then?

Sirzy · 28/08/2019 15:58

If you work in mental health then I hope someone recognises you from this post and reports you for your attitude.

EmeraldShamrock · 28/08/2019 15:58

I mean the colleagues comment was light hearted, not the OP.
OP is clearly highly strung strong and not very light hearted at all.

Waveysnail · 28/08/2019 16:00

This reply has been deleted

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ElfridaEtAl · 28/08/2019 16:01

I work in mental health so do understand about stress, but I’m afraid some people take the mick with time off.

Get a new job, preferably something where you don't have to interact with anyone ever.

Your colleague sounds jokey, you sound god awful.

Onceuponacheesecake · 28/08/2019 16:02

I bet you're popular at work

MO21305 · 28/08/2019 16:02

YABU!

And extremely dismissive of people suffering with stress. I actually can't believe you work in a mental health capacity. Disgusting attitude. You obviously have no idea how stress can affect somebody. So what if they take days off willy nilly, you don't know what they're finding stressful & what is going on in their lives outside of work. Could seem trivial to you, but to them it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Cheeserton · 28/08/2019 16:04

You assume people 'take the mick' with time off for stress, but want to grass someone up for making a comment when you've put photos of yourself out at the weekend up? Yeah, OK... You need to have a serious word with yourself. YABU.

Clangus00 · 28/08/2019 16:04

YABU to think that a COLD means that you have to lay around on the couch as well as having an extra day off your work!

Finfintytint · 28/08/2019 16:05

Did you report them to somehow validate your own skive?

Hobbesmanc · 28/08/2019 16:06

So you have this colleague on facebook presumably? But you're happy to complain about them formally? What exactly do you want your manager to do? What possible misconduct has been committed. If s/he pissed you off then raise it directly with her but prepare to look petty

Just unfriend them and get on with life

IsobelRae23 · 28/08/2019 16:06

If you work in mental health then you would know, that it has a very high sickness and absence for staff because of the work people do. I spent 8 years delivering stress awareness training to those who worked in low, medium and high secure services. So I’m well aware of the stats etc. The harder the service users the higher the absence rate.

Ffs you sound like a joke.

DarlingNikita · 28/08/2019 16:08

I think YANBU and the colleague was a tit.

I mean what do you expect if you take the Tuesday off after bank holiday?
People not to assume the worst?

These 'minor' things all add up to a culture of presenteeism and martyr syndrome. They need chipping away at.

Geminijes · 28/08/2019 16:09

YABU.

You complain about your colleagues 'taking the mickey with stress' yet you couldn't even cope with a trivial comment from a colleague. You had to go and report them.

I think you need to grow up and learn to brush off trivial comments.

Likethebattle · 28/08/2019 16:10

This reply has been deleted

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BackforGood · 28/08/2019 16:11

YABVVVU, even before I got to the bit you said about other people taking the mick with being off for stress.

Pot, kettle ?

I'm glad I've never worked with anyone so ridiculous as to report a one off comment like that to a manager. Surprised anyone at work speaks to you, tbh.

Baguetteaboutit · 28/08/2019 16:11

Unless it was part of a sustained campaign of low level shitty comments from this colleague, I think you were a bit of a snowflake to report it.

augustagain · 28/08/2019 16:12

Reporting over a trivial jokey remark would make it look like "she doth protest too much" iyswim. At the end of the day, you say your sick record is good. You really were ill and needed that sick day and your manager believes you were ill and isn't questioning it. That's all that matters surely?

It would be hard for you to "prove" to anyone you work with that you were genuinely ill. Same as it is hard for colleagues to "prove" to those they work with their stress is real. That's between them and their doctors. Something to bear in mind next time you don't believe in a colleague's illness!

PositiveVibez · 28/08/2019 16:12

Yabvu for taking a day off work with a cold.

Were your eyes not streaming when you went the country park? Could you wear your contact lenses in the country park taking pictures?

zackly · 28/08/2019 16:14

I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it.

I was with you until this and then your comment that you work in mental health.

I mean really??

During a stressful period in my life I was having pains in my upper arm (over a period of time) that eventually led to my GP calling an ambulance for me because she thought I might be having a heart attack!

Thankfully heart is fine. The ultimate diagnosis? Stress.

But it wouldn't have happened to you eh, because you just get on with it

edwinbear · 28/08/2019 16:15

It was petty to report your colleague, if you the day after a bank holiday off sick you will attract comments like this.

Tink88 · 28/08/2019 16:15

You sound like hard work to work with. I couldn't even imagine taking time off sick for a cold.

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