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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Comment about sick leave AIBU to report?

143 replies

Fireinthegrate · 28/08/2019 15:37

Had to take Tuesday off work as I had a streaming cold over the bank hol weekend.
Went back today and a colleague commented about how I had had a lovely extra long weekend in the sun.
I had been to a country park on the Sunday morning and had put a pic of my dog swimming in the lake.

However I spent the rest of that day, and Monday and Tuesday on the sofa and didn’t go out again .
I am rarely off sick unlike other people at work who seem to take weeks off at a time for ‘stress ‘.
I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it.
I take one day off and get comments.
Was I unreasonable to have reported this to my manager? My manager is not my colleagues manager.
Colleague and I don’t do the same job.

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 28/08/2019 16:49

YABVU and goady AF. Also it's always a stupid idea to have work colleagues on social media.

ElleDubloo · 28/08/2019 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

360eyes · 28/08/2019 16:54

If trolls could fly, this thread would be an airport

pooopypants · 28/08/2019 16:56

You sound like an arsehole OP. You should have spoken to your colleague at the time, instead of tattling like a 12 year old girl.

And FYI.... there are three amazing inventions.... glasses. They're bloody awesome. The wonders of technology.

I pray that you have no direct input into people's health care, care plans etc, because your attitude towards MH fucking stinks.

KarmaStar · 28/08/2019 16:57

I really don't understand why the op reported the colleague.
Was it from guilt?personality clash?revenge?what was your motive op?
Most people would just laugh or shrug this comment off surely?
What did you expect the outcome to be?
Genuine questions as I'm baffled as to why you would do this.

holly30 · 28/08/2019 16:58

I sometimes work from home (i'm allowed). My manager makes comments all the time about how i'm going home to sit on my balcony and sunbath. It used to annoy me but now i just laugh it off...I think it was a bit petty to report her over that.

Rachelover40 · 28/08/2019 17:01

Grassing up colleagues for something so trivial is not on.

MoaningMinnie1 · 28/08/2019 17:03

To add - WTF were you doing posting pics of your dog having 'a lovely time' on social media when you were off sick? Who is going to be interested anyway but you really asked for that comment.

BettysLeftTentacle · 28/08/2019 17:07

To be honest OP you’re just as bad as them with this comment:

I have plenty of things in my personal life going on to make me stressed but I just get on with it.

Nimchimpsk · 28/08/2019 17:07

Yanbu to expect that comments shouldn't be made, as nobody really knows what someone is going through.

You've had lots of replies along the lines of 'don't be rude if someone's off wirh stress', but I get the impression from your OP that you wouldn't think it appropriate to say these things to the people involved, and that even if you suspect someone is taking the mick or could manage to work, it'd be out of order to say otherwise.

All those studiously defending the rights of those off for weeks for stress, should be at least as thoughtful about your time off., as they're not qualified to judge your ability to work when ill.

Although an unpopular opinion, GPs do seem to be quick to offer to sign people off work for a couple of weeks at a time to help 'stress', when there are lots of other options to support different elements of ill mental health.

I presented to my doctor with headaches, extreme anxiety and lack of energy, and due to questioning about high workload, I was offered some time signed off. I didn't take it, as the element of having the bare minimum of my work covered and having to pick up excess when back would have made me more anxious! Turns out my diet was able to relieve lots of the symptoms and talking therapy helped me to deal with underlying issues.

Wtongly or ightly, now if I have a mental health wobble on occasion. I actually tell my employer its a cold/flu/bug for a couple of days!

adaline · 28/08/2019 17:11

You reported them for what, exactly?

If one of my team came to me and reported someone for this all I'd nod and smile....

DameMargaretofChalfont · 28/08/2019 17:11

Wow - just Wow!!!!!

OP - You are beyond unreasonable!!!!
Thank goodness I don't work with such a humourless, petty individual.

Give yourself a bloody good shake and go and withdraw your report/complaint to the manager and get on with life!!!

Waiting1987 · 28/08/2019 17:11

Well at least your manager will get a laugh at your pettiness. Plus everyone will know to stay well clear of you in future. Win for everyone!

Ginger1982 · 28/08/2019 17:12

@MoaningMinnie1 I don't think OP was meant to be working on her Sunday, just the Tuesday when she was off sick

I can't stop laughing at you expecting your colleague to be spoken to about her comment OP. You sound very defensive. Perhaps because you weren't as sick as you made out?

Derbee · 28/08/2019 17:13

YABU.

But at least your manager will know that you’re a trouble maker, in case of future problems with colleagues. So you’ve probably done them all a favour

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 28/08/2019 17:13

Off-topic but I wish colleagues would take a day or two off when they have heavy colds. No one wants to catch their germs!

OP, you've taken this far too seriously and it was ridiculous to report your colleague.

charliedawg · 28/08/2019 17:13

As a manager, I am always suspicious of people who are ill just before or just after a Bank Holiday. Maybe their comments were justified, maybe you are being overly sensitive.

Boswellisdead · 28/08/2019 17:14

To take time off because you had a cold - very reasonable imo. Meant you got over it quicker than soldiering on, and less chance of passing it on to colleagues.

To report a colleague over a poorly judged comment - not reasonable. You're an adult, presumably, couldn't you have sorted this out yourselves?

To dismiss people going off with 'stress' and saying how you just 'get on with it'. ODFOD.

Intruiged · 28/08/2019 17:14

You dislike them enough to report a comment toa manager yet friends with them on Facebook?

littlepaddypaws · 28/08/2019 17:14

it's odd that op has jogged off, i doubt she is a front line mental health worker with that attitude, at least i hope not. i'd be reporting her if i was a patient.

ElizaPancakes · 28/08/2019 17:19

YABU totally to not just say ‘hah, I wish!’ and brushing it off.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 28/08/2019 17:21

It wasn't the best time to be I'll. presumably you had taken everything you

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 28/08/2019 17:22

It wasn't the best time to be I'll. presumably you had taken everything you could and still felt rough.

Anyway, your comment about "stress" has lost any sympathy you had from me

Jas1985 · 28/08/2019 17:23

YABU to make comments about people being off with stress and “just getting on with it”. You realise that GP’s will write stress on all sick notes related to mental health unless the patient states otherwise. This allows the patient to choose how much to disclose about their diagnosis to their employer. I was signed off with stress when I’d overdosed in a suicide attempt and came dangerously close to being successful. But I suppose I should have just got on with it.

Hope you’re feeling better and that this experience has taught you an important lesson in not judging others when we don’t know the whole story

lawnmowingsucks · 28/08/2019 17:23

Your colleagues comment hit home as there was an element of truth in it Grin

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