I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

Oh great. Another stupid "oop north" comment.

I wear a smart dress for work every day.
I never wear a suit or separates and in colder weather I put on a cardigan.
A colleague once said I dressed too smartly but I ignored it.

There are often so many unspoken rules.

This is it exactly. There’s a lot of complexity that’s never spelt out. Some people are very, very good at picking up the nuances though.

Nuances and unspoken rules are what cause companies to be sued for indirect discrimination. Its why many companies moved towards having dress codes. So they are set down in advance and fairly apply to everyone. So that people aren't singled out for nuanced reasons. So that they can be justified if need be in court.

Some of the responses on this thread are like stepping back in time, to an era where women meekly complied with all sorts of little nuanced comments about their appearance.

Nuances and unspoken rules are what cause companies to be sued for indirect discrimination.

Never happened anywhere I worked. The powers that be are far too smart and subtle for that.

ex-pashspurt

Well said, QualCheckBot.

Those talking about nuance and how you have to just pick things up through being ultra-tuned-in or whatever, you don't sound like you're more sensitive/more clued up/better than the rest of us, although I'm sure that's the aim.

That's ridiculous. I often wear a dress and cardigan or blazer for work and even if I'm shopping in town or meeting friends etc
My job is fairly casual but I would rather overdress and my manager doesn't care
I would class a dress and cardigan as anything from casual to smart depending on the dress shape etc, but with flats that's pretty dressed down!

@Appletina in that case you sound like you're hitting a balance between being work smart and being too polished already...as a fellow short arse with ample curves I can sympathise because if you did dress down you'd probably look too casual or scruffy if you're like me. I suspect the person giving you feedback doesn't have the same issues with proportions and trying to look like you haven't dressed in the dark whilst battling a badger like I did the time I tried to dress casual for work

In that case I'd respond to the feedback with confirmation that this is just your style rather than you dressing up to look official. Unless you're breaching a dress code, let them complain. It makes them look like a tit, not you.

In our current society t’s up to your employer what impression they want you to give when you’re resenting them. Providing their requests are within the reach of those they employ and not in some way unreasonable (i.e. derogatory or unhealthy or impinges on the rest of their life) then it is their decision, not the employees. It doesn’t even matter what customer feedback is providing the standards are evenly applied. The employer has a right to decide what their image is going to be and to take the risk of getting it wrong. Asking you to dress down is no different from asking you to dress more smartly. For what it’s worth I wish it were different but I don’t think you have any leverage or moral ground here just because the request is to be less smart rather than more smart.

Regardless of what you think your employer is making a perfectly reasonable request of you. They aren't demanding you wear things ridiculously sloppy clothes just not as smart. It's not an unreasonable dress code.

Doesn't really matter what you or anyone here thinks if they think you are BU.

As long as you don’t wear ‘tunics’ I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Why do posters keep stating the comment came from her employer or manager? The OP hasn’t come back to clarify.

And men are often told to smarten up, ( a salesman I worked with was told to "iron your bloody shirts!") or sometimes the opposite. Haircuts, beards, posh suits in a casual environment have all been policed in places I have worked.

As PP say - you wear what you are told for work within reason. Anf we expect the same when we are receiving a service.

Haven't RTFT

Take on board what you've been told and dress accordingly. YABU if you think that you're above the dress code or instructions from superiors.

And also I find dress codes never really give the full impression as they’re never detailed enough or cover different scenarios as to when you need to dress up or down. It is something that has to be learnt.

Of course it depends where you work. But if say you worked in a children's centre, I would have been intimidated by a receptionist wearing a smart dress and cardigan.

TheUltimateGoober, the thing is, though (the nuance is, though...?), I used that phrase generally and not about any individual in particular, whereas the 'pop along' poster was addressing the OP specifically and telling her personally where she ought to be buying her clothes.

Haven't RTFT
That's very clear

But if say you worked in a children's centre, I would have been intimidated by a receptionist wearing a smart dress and cardigan.

Well Pooopypants perhaps you should read the thread before posting. The OP has not said the comment came from her superiors or that she isn’t following the dress code.

If you're just wearing dresses and cardigans how can anyone say it's too smart? Unless you're swanning around telling everyone how expensive your Hobbs dress is I doubt most people would care or notice.
I wear dresses and cardigans with either sandals or ankle boots and tights to work and I think it's a smart casual look.