I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

Owner some of her colleagues wear dresses so short that you can see the top of their thighs. Are you suggesting she does the same?

Doyoureallyhavetoask I doubt it. She says she doesn’t work with vulnerable people and sits behind a desk.

“@Iamthewombat, maybe because her clothes aren’t appropriate for her working environment? This has been spelt out for you God only knows how many times.”

We don’t know that though do we and that’s been pointed out numerous times also.

Was it told as a mandatory thing, or a suggestion?

Such as the sort of person who would nitpick an employee over their wearing of day dresses and skirts, blouses and tops?
Nope. The sort of employee who would rather create an argument or issue out of anything than take on board constructive feedback or suggestions from colleagues. Quick to decide that their opinion and attitude is right, ignore advice and guidance but then claimed hard done to when they ran into issues (that managers and colleagues had anticipated and tried to help with but friend knew best).

As I've said, the issue isn't about someone liking dresses or whatever. It's whether it's reasonable for an organisation to have a dress code and give advice/guidance based on it.
If senior staff have felt that there was an issue or a gentle nudge to consider more casual attire and they mentioned it to me, I'd take it on the chin and be a little more casual in future. I wouldn't assume anyone was demanding I looked like a scruff, I wouldn't get her up with sarcasm about intimidating cardigans, I'd just reflect on my choices a little because that's part of being a reflective practioner who gets on in the workplace.

It's not about clothing price. It's about overall attire. I've seen some £300 jeans in a local department store that sum up scruffy to me. I've seen some suits in affordable high street shops that are more formal and business like than I would ever wear. A poster pages ago showed 3 different dresses from Hobbs all in the same price range. They all convey a different image and impression. It's really not unreasonable for any sensible adult to acknowledge that when choosing styles in future.

Do you like your job and the company you work for? Is the culture a good fit for you?

It sounds as if there’s a mismatch and maybe it’s time to look for something else. There’s a lot to be said for feeling comfortable in what you’re wearing - for many of us it helps with confidence.

So basically, you just came on here to brag about your wardrobe

It was a senior colleague, but not a direct line of report.

Then you can either ignore it, or go to your direct manager and express concern and curiosity about the comment.

Wow, that's unusual. Historically I have had the opposite problem! Perhaps you should go to S&B board and ask them for advice on more casual styling that you are still comfortable in. Look at sites like Hush, that kind of style may be a better fit?

Genderfree- no, I'm not suggesting this at all.
I am merely suggesting that you might want to just be a little bit flexible in the workplace, unless you truly believe senior colleagues are acting unreasonably in which case a discussion is needed as to what the issue actually is.

Owner I’m not the op.

Lolasmiles As I've said, the issue isn't about someone liking dresses or whatever. It's whether it's reasonable for an organisation to have a dress code and give advice/guidance based on it.
If senior staff have felt that there was an issue or a gentle nudge to consider more casual attire and they mentioned it to me, I'd take it on the chin and be a little more casual in future. I wouldn't assume anyone was demanding I looked like a scruff, I wouldn't get her up with sarcasm about intimidating cardigans, I'd just reflect on my choices a little because that's part of being a reflective practioner who gets on in the workplace.

I think by the time I'd reached the workplace, as an adult, I knew what was acceptable in my appearance and clothing sufficiently to trust my own judgment.

Likewise, my ability to deflect those people who subtly try to undermine your self confidence by constantly niggling away at it.

Whether that sort of resilience makes your work colleague anti-social in your eyes or not is really quite telling.

Obviously you can't generalise and there is often one awkward employee who doesn't exert the best judgment, but many workplaces are tolerant of individual differences.

Micro-managing someone's choice of perfectly reasonable clothing is altogether a different ballgame. Quite possibly bullying. I will repeat, there has to be a male equivalent or it will be unreasonable on the part of the employer (or vicariously, as it appears to have been done by a fellow employee and not a manager).

Genderfree- you just asked me if I thought that the OP should wear tiny dresses. I don't think she should unless a) she wants to AND; b) they fit with the company dress code

BrendasUmbrella
A lot will depend on the cut and styling of the dresses in question and also personal views on formality.
E.g. Some of my work dresses aren't corporate style but they are on the quirky end of more business-wear. I don't think they're especially formal, but they are more formal than many of my colleagues. If someone said it would be worth losing the blazer every day (advice I was given in one post), I'd take it with good grace in the specific contexts rather than decide my way of dressing is right.

I like another poster's suggestion of OP just asking their manager what they think of the comments (unless of course senior colleague is manager's manager). They may be able to offer some insight and guidance that's helpful.

I think by the time I'd reached the workplace, as an adult, I knew what was acceptable in my appearance and clothing sufficiently to trust my own judgment
Likewise, my ability to deflect those people who subtly try to undermine your self confidence by constantly niggling away at it.
Whereas I saw it differently. I know my workwear is smart, appropriate and suits my style.
I also know that if I'm new to an organisation that others may know more about that context than me and have the humility to know when sometimes it's actually worth listening to some gentle advice or hints without taking it as some paranoid attempt to chip away at my self esteem. My self esteem isn't going to be chipped away at because in one post a few years ago someone suggested that even soft waterfall blazers are still perceived as authority by some of the people we work with.
Part of healthy self esteem is also not taking potentially helpful or reasonable advice as a personal attack.

change jobs to get something that suits how you feel comfortable and professional..no need to devalue yourself to the lowest common denominator

I can only say that in all the firms and companies I've worked for, there has been a huge range of people. I have worked alongside eccentrics, autistic people, ethnic minorities, old people, school leavers, and so on who quite often dressed in a way that such nit-picking would find "non-standard", and no-one ever commented on it. Large people, small people - big public-facing organisations are full of them.

LolaSmiles you can keep niggling away, but it won't work. You like to undermine people's self esteem, and I know that's your game.

My BF is a stockbroker and even he wears jeans and a smart shirt to work. If your hair and nails are "crap" why not invest your smart dress ,money on extensions, great colour and blow dries, fabulous manicures and get sassy girl! You can't beat great jeans and a crisp white shirt for looking stylish and approachable yet still classy . If your boss has taken you aside to discuss your workwear, it's clearly an issue so I'd say conform...fabulously of course.

You sound like you your dress in an attractive way. Maybe they find your clothes formal/ casual. Those shops are a bit upmarket. Maybe try H and M they have smart casual at a good price and save your nice clothes for people who appreciate them!

You can't beat great jeans and a crisp white shirt for looking stylish and approachable yet still classy

Is it 1992 and have we strayed on to the set of Friends?

That has to be a wind up Pinkginhelps. Certainly gave me a laugh!!

Rarely come to this board but was intrigued by the title in my email round-up.

I bet she’s a GP or hospital receptionist. Her choice of clothes sounds both lovely and appropriate. My suspicion is jealous colleagues.

Carry on as you were OP.

We definitely need context for the comment, but the OP won't provide. It's all guess work

LolaSmiles you can keep niggling away, but it won't work. You like to undermine people's self esteem, and I know that's your game.
What?
My examples are largely when people have GIVEN ME advice and hints.

The examples with trainee/new teachers getting the balance of formality etc right (also accompanied with practical classroom tips) is also entirely appropriate and in line with what their training providers tell them. Of course, we could just not say anything in case someone claims it's bullying and ruining self esteem for anyone to suggest a tie over the open button shirt or that leggings as trousers arent professional dress to new teachers. Just like we probably shouldn't give feedback where overall approach (including dress where relevant) is creating barriers that will make a trainee's life more difficult. Let's ensure the training providers and the mentors and the school say nothing at all because it's mean. Hang them all out to dry rather than be helpful because some people will claim it's mean.

I just don't think it's a healthy approach to take feedback from senior colleagues as some attempt to ruin self esteem when more often than not there's actually something useful to take away from it.

Sometimes there's very real workplace bullying. Sometimes there are truly toxic environments. I've left one. Trying to lump reasonable advice and guidance from senior colleagues in with conspiracies about self esteem ruining is ridiculous.

Men's work wear is a lot more regulated than women's in the first place, so I can't see any place for indignation around "telling women what to wear".

Men are told what to wear, they have to wear a suit in most office jobs. They are dictated to even to the extent of whether they have to wear a tie or not.

So arguing there is a sexist elemt to this is ridiculous IMO.

Regards the OP, I would take heed if it was coming from management, and give it some consideration if it came from a colleague.

There are jobs where stuffy, business-like attire can be seen as overdoing it, and wgen combined with heavy make up and hairstyling can be a bit out of place.

Maybe you need to look at getting a better paid job where your good taste will be appreciated!