I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

Dress down, spend less on clothes, wear comfortable stuff - win!

All these companies that deal with all sections of the general public where it’s ok for employees to flash their thighs but it’s inappropriate and against the dress code to wear a smart dress and cardy. Nah nothing to see here, perfectly normal.

I think it is important who has asked this of you. I am wondering if you are ‘showing someone up’. If you are going into meetings looking more professional than your line manager they might feel self conscious or perhaps they feel you look in charge when clients enter the office.

Depending on who it was who had this conversation with you then you might be able to bypass them and go to HR or a higher manager to discuss your dismay and you may be told it is not a real problem.

Pinkgin it wasn’t her boss.

I liked the rest of your post for it’s craziness. You were joking weren’t you.

where it’s ok for employees to flash their thighs

Why is this continually brought up? Who knows what has been said to these people?

In any case, when issues are raised about you in the work place, the appropriate response is not ‘but what about so and so?’

If the OP was in an appraisal and told that she needed to work on written expression, it would not be appropriate to say ‘but x can’t spell’

The OP needs to focus on herself.

All those saying to try H&M etc - about two years ago I got so fed up with fast fashion disintegrating in the wash after a few months, clothes would go baggy and misshapen, seams would tear, and so on, that I decided to spend a bit more money on clothes that last and wash well. High street clothes are a false economy for me. I know Hobbs/Reiss isn’t exactly designer but the material, quality and cut is better and the clothes wash much better too.

But this is one of those cases where a male employee might be given similar feedback. If everyone else is wearing open-necked shirts and one bloke rocks up in a tie every day, someone might well have a word.

If OP isn't willing to clarify a) the nature of her role (saying I am a receptionist or I am an estate agent is really not very outing) and b) whether this was official-ish (an appraisal, or an 'informal' chat with her line manager) or a passing remark from someone whose opinion is either irrelevant or who actively has it in for OP, there is no real advice anyone on here can give.

Well Laurie it may have been brought up but as OP has said colleagues come to work like that which suggests that it’s not a one off occasion doesn’t it so therefore it’s relevant.

Employers have to treat people equally and be consistent or tsk facing legal consequences. Singling out one employee in a detrimental way would not be seen as ok.

Totally dependent upon your job. Even estate agents don't 'dress up' to make clients feel they are making too much commission from them. If working in a charity shop or business all the high end labels would intimidate. You should be guided by whoever told you about your dress code as long as they are in a position to do so.

Reanimated I’ve already quoted the law in this area. The Equalities Act isn’t the only relevant statute when dealing with breaches of employment law.

Without knowing what it is you do, we can’t say who ibu, however if a senior manager is saying that your style could be perceived as intimidating I would image that this has come from customer feedback but your senior was too diplomatic to say. Check your contract/policies & procedures re: dress code & if you believe what you’re wearing is in line with that then either tell them to suck it up or get them to be more specific in the dress code so that it isn’t left open to interpretation.

@qualcheckbot just trying to lighten the mood. All getting a tad serious! Now prancing off flicking my "Rachel", crisp shirt a crackling.

Is this just someone trying to bully you? Make you feel self-conscious and crap?

Yes Appletina I know what you mean it can be a false economy can’t it.

I do wish you’d provide a little more clarification though. In particular have you had chance to check the dress code.

For one of my maternity outfits. I got told I looked too good, therefore it wasn't deemed suitable for work!!

You don’t sound overdressed in what you describe you’re wearing and how you feel about yourself. Your clothes seem to help you feel confident and surely that must be a good thing when you’re at work and are dealing with all sorts of different people. I wonder if some of your colleagues are envying you your nice clothes? If you look smarter than more senior colleagues, why would that be your problem? Others are free to choose what they wear - they can always smarten up their own outfits if they wish to. I think it is ridiculous that you are asked to dress more casually, it feels as though you are being asked to do that so that others don’t have to make an effort. Surely, it should be the other way around.

Unless there is some kind of uniform you are free to wear whatever you are comfortable in. I worked somewhere once they kept saying I should wear trousers. I don't conform for anybody. As long as you're doing your job it's no one's business what you wear.

Good heavens HarriR what did you wear? Just shows how batshit some bosses are.

A friend who worked in a criminal dept of a law firm was asked to come in urgently without delay on her annual leave. Told to bring her children if necessary. She checked first that she didn’t have to go to court, see clients etc and rushed in as she was. As she rushed up the stairs a partner from a different dept bollocked her for not wearing a suit, even after she explained everything. She said no problem and went home leaving them up shits creek. Her own boss who was the senior partner went mad at the other partner but understood why she went home. Madness isn’t it.

Receptionist here (not doctors), I like to dress nice for work, it's my choice as lots of colleagues dress more casually. I do it for me, I like to feel nice and it gives me confidence,especially with the hundreds of faces I see every day. You do you

I just wanna know what your job is.

Why shouldn't service users interact with someone who dresses smartly? I don't understand the reason behind thinking they may be intimidated. Do you ask service users parents to dress down as well?

Is their house too clean? Teeth in order? Gosh best check that out because they might well not be so needy!

YANBU OP and keep up the lovely appearance.

Do not apologise for what you are wearing OP.

So long as your boobs aren't hanging out and you are teaching reception children seen that

.... I wear Coast, Warehouse, Phase Eight etc. with a bit of Next or even Primark mixed in, unless they want to give me a uniform, I'll dress how I choose to within the staff guidelines (no cleavage - boob or bottom )

I’m still waiting to be enlightened re how the OP’s smart casual dresses and cardigans can be inappropriate for the workplace and intimidating to clients, whilst her colleagues’ ‘so short you can see their underwear’ skirts are not. Please fill me in on the types of workplaces (hipster perhaps?) where that makes sense.

And, in case anybody is still wondering, it is entirely relevant to mention that. The wearers of those skirts are still wearing them, so clearly they haven’t had a ‘hint’ from a senior colleague. Why?

Come on. It is a way of saying you are prancing around as a 'look at me' when the job is not all about you.

Think 'killing Eve' and don't go there.