I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

Dress how you like, its part of you and as long as you are not showing lots of bare flesh I don't see the problem.
This sort of attitude is ridiculous.
We see it on school threads when people couldn't possibly refrain from dying their child's hair pink and wearing neon logoed trainers instead of school shoes, through to work threads where people are aghast that they might just have to follow a dress code and expectations of workplace dress. It's such a ridiculously self-obsessed me me me attitude where the most important thing at any given moment in time is an individual show expressing themselves however they see fit.

Different attire matches different settings. Organisations will decide what works for them. People within sectors will develop experience of what works best / doesn't work best for their customers or service users. Any adult who can't grasp that needs to get a grip to me.

Why? What an odd comment
Maybe because the women wearing skirts so short you can see up their thighs are not being told to dress more appropriately?

Maybe because the women wearing skirts so short you can see up their thighs are not being told to dress more appropriately?

Who knows what they are being told?

In any event, other people dressing inappropriately does not mean the OP can’t be told she’s dressing inappropriately in a totally different way.

jennymanara
I worked in a creative firm for a short while. All the men including very senior ones wore expensive black jeans, scruffy t-shirts and often unbrushed hair. A receptionist in a Hobbs dress would not have been acceptable.

So explain to me how wearing expensive black jeans make someone more accessible than someone wearing a Hobbs Dress?

Jeans even expensive ones signify informal, a Hobbs work dress signifies formal.

jennymanara

And no matter how creative they think they are, wearing expensive designer black jeans doesn't make them more accessible. Just makes me feel they are people that can afford expensive black jeans. Would it make me more impressed with their work - no.

So explain to me how wearing expensive black jeans make someone more accessible than someone wearing a Hobbs Dress?

Because jeans are much less formal. Isn’t that obvious?

People’s reaction will be different.

Like jenny I’m surprised that people are so resistant to this concept.

The expense/prestige of the brand is unlikely to be obvious unless you’re very into clothes.

The thing is we don’t know if the thigh flashers are being told do we.

I’d like to know the status of who told her also.

Would it make me more impressed with their work - no.

I don’t think that’s what they’re going for.

They’re signalling something about their values and priorities.

Mind you, black jeans is dizzy heights for me. I recently worked with a creative agency where the highly respected MD wore nothing but grubby trackie bottoms.

Lol at the secrecy surrounding the job. Are you the only one who does it?

Are you the Queen? Because I do think you are quite intimidating in how you dress but you always look very gracious.

I’ve never really liked how the Queen dresses.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross
I think you've nailed it..appletina she's the queena!

ps love your username, by one of my fave bands ever

LaurieMarlow You obviously think poorer people just see jeans and think I can relate to jeans so that is ok, You are more delusional than you think you are. Someone in a creative job is trying to look cool, not sell anything to poorer people.

You obviously think poorer people just see jeans and think I can relate to jeans so that is ok

So what do you think they see?

Someone in a creative job is trying to look cool, not sell anything to poorer people.

The first bit is true, but the second isn’t. Plenty of brands and products are pitched at lower socioeconomic groups.

So explain to me how wearing expensive black jeans make someone more accessible than someone wearing a Hobbs Dress?
You can't seriously be claiming that you don't understand the difference between casual denim and more formal dresses??

LaurieMarlow I have already told you what we see (I am one of those 'they' that you refer to) . It doesn't matter what anyone wears, or how they sound, it is the person underneath that matters

Well I have an interacting with the public type role - and the basic rule/advice we've been given is it is helpful if you dress appropriate to the area you are working. So if working in a studenty bit of Brighton - you might well do better dressed a bit "alternative". However along the coast in Eastbourne, a more "conservative" look might be more appropriate.

I tend to dress a bit "mumsy" but try to be smart - although on hot days like yesterday I waft around in a maxi dress and sandals.

But if someone said I should dress a bit differently I would take it on board, speak to and observe colleagues, and try to modify.

No wonder OP is not responding, obviously in UK nowadays how you look is more important than how caring or kind you are. I would understand if someone was saying - go to Primark and get some jeans. No you are saying " go out and buy designer black jeans is better"! Do you think someone who was seeing a HV would be more comfortable with designer black jeans , or do you think they are too stuoid to notice?Have a word with yourselves.

It doesn't matter what anyone wears, or how they sound, it is the person underneath that matters

People make judgements on others based on a vast host of signals and cues that they convey.

Clothes being a huge component of this, but there are of course many more.

Most of this is happening at a subconscious level. We’re not even aware of how these judgements are formed.

It's tricky though - I've seen at my work, neon bra straps on display, blouses that pull across boobs so bra on view, open toe sandals (not allowed), heavily creased clothing, skirt with a slit so high at the back it showed everything her thong etc etc
I might dress up slightly more but I'm happier doing that and it doesn't affect anyone else. By dress up I mean I'll wear a jersey type dress and some t bar heels or a skirt and flats with a nice top. So no bra straps on show etc

No wonder OP is not responding, obviously in UK nowadays how you look is more important than how caring or kind you are
Nonsense.
People are simply pointing out that attire in the workplace varies by context and generally it's expected that adults have the basic maturity to adapt to their environment a bit.
Some adults think their personal style preferences are paramount and that's their choice, but they can't be surprised if others don't share their views.

Are you the only person in the Internet world that does your job?

whats the culture and dress code in the place you work at? if there is no official dress code just see what majority wear and try to stick with it.

Work is not a democracy. Of course there are many rights and protections, but if your behaviours, including any dress choices, that are not protected as part of a protected characteristic are impacting your performance it is a reasonable request from your manager to ask you to change them, and it is your contractual obligation to follow reasonable requests.