I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

Need to catch up on the thread(!) but just seeing the last few posts, as I have said I am not working with vulnerable members of the public.

I know you are not.

Are your clothes impractical for the circumstances, for example if your job involves playing with children, running around or getting dirty?

Absolutely not! I sit at a desk or table and talk to people!

Jenny plenty of people have waffled on about intimidating clothes and being intimidated by them. In fact more than one person think OPs a Health Visitor.

allfourofthem's post really resonates with me thinking about it. I don't just have suits for court I have nice suits and shirts etc.
I don't want to look like a social worker in that setting even a smart one, I'm aiming to look more like a lawyer.
But I'm not sure that it necessarily for anyone but me.
Once when working as a frontline social worker my manager and myself had been on a dawn raid with the police and then gone straight to court in the very casual clothes we had been asked to wear. The security guard at court asked us to stand aside to let some other more typically suited social work colleagues go through security first. What you wear does matter.

@genderfree And yes I said I would have felt intimidated at certain points in my life, but I was not vulnerable.

BoomBoomsCousin In our current society t’s up to your employer what impression they want you to give when you’re resenting them. Providing their requests are within the reach of those they employ and not in some way unreasonable (i.e. derogatory or unhealthy or impinges on the rest of their life) then it is their decision, not the employees.

Again, no, and I'm going to keep saying this. If its not in the dress code, it doesn't form part of the employment contract and its not enforceable, however nuanced the employer is.

Employment law all turns on the concept of reasonableness and no tribunal in the land is a skirt with a blouse or top from Hobbs or Reiss with low heels going to be considered unreasonable workwear. Its farcical, and laughable.

Its actually worrying how easily some people are deceived about this and how easily they would be taken in. How can they be so gullible? Stand up for yourselves!

Receptionist

It would be considered unreasonable workwear if you were a nursery worker.

But the reality is it is not what would stand up in a court, but what enables you to do your job well. If you care about that, you care about the nuances of dress codes.

It's probably a case of the OP not fitting in with the culture of the "dominant" employees. I've worked in some places where the code is informally decided by a few people, and there can be insidious bullying, eg smirks about someone's Autumn-range M&S clothes. Nasty.

It seems it's always "smart clothes" bullying, too. I've never encountered anyone sneering at someone's scruffy outfits.

I work in a children’s centre supporting vulnerable clients and direct work with children and teenagers. I wear smartish dresses and cardis with flats or boots, sometimes jeans with a smartish jacket, I need a bit of tailoring to hide some of my middle aged spread. I often accompany clients to meeting about debts, poor school attendance, court hearings and need to be taken seriously when I advocate for them. People might make a quick judgement on my dress but I build good relationships with people through listening to them properly, giving them options rather than telling them what to do and following through when I say I will do something, oh, I have quite a posh voice too apparently despite coming from working class parents and having a very impoverished childhood 🤷‍♀️

@herculepoirot2

Sorry, I thought that was to me but it was to the OP?

Another pp, I think

I picked a random "work dress and cardigan image" off google
I mean it's hardly intimidating is it?! If you're wearing a heavily tailored super sharp dress with a cropped cardigan and 5 inch spike stilettos then maybe...

But you advocate for them so have to be taken seriously by those in organisations. I did a similar role and the dress code was smart casual to business smart because of that.

I am going to guess that OP is a receptionist at the Council?

I used to work in an office doing basic admin, we all dressed in tops and trousers apart from one woman that wore suits, full makeup and all. It was just weird, she looked totally out of place.

I once got criticised by a couple of bitchy older colleagues for reapplying perfume & lipstick in my unpaid break at work.
They implied I was 'after the doctors'...
Lovely.

I carried right on with my (light) perfume & lipstick.

OP just carry on with what you do. Wear what you think is appropriate. I bet the issue here is not actually your appearance??

Kublai why did it matter that she wore suits and makeup? Couldn’t she do her job because of it? Was she breaking health and safety or company rules? If everyone started doing the same would you start copying her? Sheesh.

Good for you TierraJ.

Just tell us your job, bloody hell. What's with the secrecy drip feed? We're not asking for your bank details.

@genderfree Would you also support someone who dressed scruffily in a corporate office who was being told to smarten up?

Do you speak with people who need social benefits? If so, I can see some might see your dress code as "intimidating".

QualCheckBot from a legal perspective I take your point about a dress code. I was more taking issue with the OP’s implication that a more “well dressed” look (for lack of a better way to categorize Hobbs dresses etc.) was some sort of trump card over a requirement to look “more casual” and that it was about what she thought the public wanted regardless of whether her employer wanted a different image for whatever reason.

I disagree that there isn’t a tribunal in the land that wouldn’t find the OP’s choice of work wear OK if it breached a well written dress code, though. Unreasonableness isn’t about ensuring people can wear what is often considered normal. Employers are entitled to differentiate themselves.

I worked in a creative firm for a short while. All the men including very senior ones wore expensive black jeans, scruffy t-shirts and often unbrushed hair. A receptionist in a Hobbs dress would not have been acceptable.

I always have a frank conversation with my new grads about dress code and the differences between external and internal meetings and expectations. There are often so many unspoken rules.
Our teacher training providers also speak to trainees about professional dress. We also talk in house with trainees and new staff about our school expectations, but the provider lines are smarter than ours and the trainees have to follow that, so the trainees are often better dressed than more sloppy colleagues (who could do with looking a bit more professional in my opinion). I always find it a bit ridiculous when a 22 year old has managed to dress appropriately on a trainee budget, but staff 15+ years in have to be reminded that just because it's not doesn't mean your casual summer skirts and flip flops are appropriate.

It seems it's always "smart clothes" bullying, too. I've never encountered anyone sneering at someone's scruffy outfits
Every conversation I'm aware of (from the reasonable to the ridiculous) has been about people not being smart enough or workplace attire.