To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

Dear God, I'm crying with laughter.."the bride and her maids all had massive shiners and the brides mother had her broken jaw wired shut"
Oh! and the Morris Men , jingling their way in, then jingling their way out again! Bloody glorious!

Brother of the groom punched one of the brides family At the reception. He said he did it as the brides family member threatened his/grooms father and has stolen some presents. Brides family member said he did nothing. No-one really knows what the truth is.

Another wedding the bride wanted all those wearing kilts to dance to ‘you can leave your hat on’ from the full monty. And at the end lift their kilts/drop boxers (if they had them on) to show her their bums.
Dh declined and she said he was being ‘disrespectful ‘ and it was her day. He said no again and she blamed me for him saying no to her and Told me that I was being clingy and controlling !

So glad this thread is back :)

Surely this should be in classics...I haven’t laughed out loud at a thread for so long. This one is hilarious!!

At dh friends wedding 4 years ago. They'd written their own vows.
The bride comes out with this fancy thing, really put a lot of thought into it, super romantic. He comes out with 'you're alrate, I love you' it was kind of silent for a good minute or two, and she looked crushed. They also had a massive argument at their reception because he'd gotten a little drunk, and went outside to talk to his mates to 10 minutes and she didn't understand how he could leave her alone on their wedding day.
Suffice to say they had separated less than a year later,

The first was where the bride and groom had a soloist singing a Very dramatic Wind Beneath My Wings. The second was one with a best man speech that involved much cursing, off color language, unsavoury details about the groom And bride. The MOB burst out in hives and the rest of us sat there with our mouths open, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They were divorced six months later - not filed for divorce, divorced done and dusted by six months later.

My wedding, almost 14 years ago. My dad stood up to make his speech and taljed for twenty minutes about my grandmother. Not even his mother, my mum's mum. Him and my mum had been divorced for 10 years by that point and mum was remarried. I think the only mentiin I got was "to the bride and groom"

He then proceeded to get paralytic, drape himself all over my mum (my step dad is a saint and let it all wash over him), pin my cousin to the bar to chat to her for almost an hour and eventually pass out on the bar floor, from where he was lifted into an emergency wheelchair, taken down in a lift and poured into a taxi by the best man and my step dad's two strapping nephews while I sat on the stairs refusing to cry.

The next day he caught me at a meal we'd organised and apologised for being tired and emotional 🙄

My wedding. Sadly.

We'd hired a caller and all the stuff for a ceilidh after the reception. Some of the guests went off to 'play babies' with two of the new members of the family, the rest went to sit outside in the sun, deciding that they weren't keen on country dancing.

Leaving me and new DH to Strip the Willow single handed. Not so much cringey, but god, I was livid...

@understandmenow - erm, the wedding started at midday and went on till midnight - the guests were all family and we'd mingled the night before (inlaws from Ireland) and my DH and I went to check out our wedding suite - we hadn't yet seen it!! we weren't planning on staying there ALL day, evening and night! We got married in a Hall which had rooms - it wasn't like we buggered off from a church to our hotel - the guests were all downstairs

@understandmenow and the time alone part referred to getting it on btw, not wanting to "leave everyone to it" as you said!

At a family members wedding the grooms sister was annoyed that her ds wasn’t a part of the bridal party, so spent all day trying to wedge him in.

She bought a small basket of flowers then nudged him down the aisle with it after the flower girls. All of us sitting near her were speechless.

At the reception she pulled a chair over to the end of the top table and plonked him on it.

During the first dance she encouraged him to join in. He was clinging to the grooms leg, who was telling him to sit down and the bride looked so pissed off. The mum was filming on her phone saying ‘oh isn’t he cute!’

An accountant who came monthly to my workplace got married, next time she came we asked about the wedding. It turned out that on her wedding night before they went to bed her DH told her he was in love with her sister who was her bridesmaid. She went on her honeymoon abroad alone and spent most of the time crying in her room. She had the marriage annulled and never spoke to her sister again.
Another one the brides DF's speech was 1 1/2 hours long with a flip stand of photo's from a baby till now with the stories to go with them. BG's stepdad stood up and said 'thanks for coming, congratulations to the happy couple I expect you're all hungry lets have the food' and sat down.
Another wedding, B&G left the church and went with parents, groomsmen and bridesmaids to a local stately home for 2 hours to have photo's taken. While the guests had to wait at a local pub function room for them to come back before the reception could start.

I thought of another. It’s actually a wedding we didn’t go to. One of DHs cousins whom I had never actually met (DH knew when he was little), we live a big distance from his home town, they had also made no effort to meet us when we were there though.
B&G had been dating for 15 years. She lived with her parents, him in his own house. Both religious. Wedding organised very quickly (no pregnancy, and there’s been no children). Wedding on a Wednesday afternoon in term time. We didn’t go, I didn’t know them and honestly they weren’t worth the numerous days holidays. Groom was extremely wealthy but apparently do was very cheap and basic and dry.
My MIL went (FIL couldn’t get time off work), SIL turned only for reception as had to wait for kids to get out of school.
Apparently they were FURIOUS we didn’t go, especially as they had spent so much money on a children’s entertainer (we had no children). Bizarre.

A relatives wedding where the grooms mother wore those kind of walking sandals with black ankle socks, a plain dark pencil skirt like you’d get in Asda and a bobbly cardigan. Can’t remember what her top was like as it was hidden by the cardie .

Wedding in which some family member called the groom “Dick” ( his name was Richard) and a fight ensued.... and someone vomited on the bar. Happy days 😳

The wedding buffet was really great, actually.

This is the most hilarious line in the entire thread.

The one where I was with a boyfriend as a plus one and as we approached the hall for an evening reception the bride, in full white meringue, was chasing some guests down the path with a cake knife.

@Zaphodsotherhead

My wedding. Sadly.

We'd hired a caller and all the stuff for a ceilidh after the reception. Some of the guests went off to 'play babies' with two of the new members of the family, the rest went to sit outside in the sun, deciding that they weren't keen on country dancing.

Leaving me and new DH to Strip the Willow single handed. Not so much cringey, but god, I was livid...

Best to always check guests with this kind of thing. I’m quite shy and just couldn’t bear to participate.

NcFortuna

Then they shouldn't have pretended that they were looking forward to it when they responded to the invites.

We knew them all pretty well (it was mostly family members and workmates). Not once did anyone say that a ceilidh wasn't their sort of thing (there are a lot where we are!).

OK here goes ..it will out me completely but well enough time has passed for me not to care...
Wedding day arrives..father of bride and mothe rof bride kindly do the reception at their home for 30 guests,mostly relations boring but ok then as alot of family lived a fair distance away father of bride hired some coaches to ferry guests 20 mins down motorway so no one had to worry about getting lost,having a drink etc.I swear they used the coaches in the film Bily Elliot ! Old 1950s coaches arrived to ollet guests as bride and groom shot off in their car.Anyways having arrived at the reception (in a fully funtioning police stations gymnasium that had been done up with ribbon and balloons as a perk of the job!)the bride and groom looked over the tables,buffet etc and waited for the guests.People came and all good exept for the coaches with her side on them.Over 1 hr 30 mins later they arrived having had to pull into hard shoulder and call ambulance and police as one uncle deided to have a heart attack except it turn sout it was never a heart attack it was something dodgy he ate and he felt sick on coach and shit himself...then when he arrived at reception had had to find someone who could lend him pants and trousers before he came in..so in he walks in shirt tie jaket and adidas joggers and shoes!!!! Funny now not so funny then.Then as it turns out as a surprise brides father had booked a singer to entertain before dj came on.The singer was an old club turn who insisted bride and groom get up to dance their first dance to a rendition of nick berrys heart beat song. Brides father must have been well tanked up one saturday night when he saw this turn a guy in his 70s.I cannot begin to tell you how bad it was.Groom paid him 50 quid to leave early and get the dj on as bride was close to walking out! Dj came on..disco dave he was called ...says it all really.First song Insanity by oceanic..yep! If you dont know these songs feel free to google!Then as the night went on and people drifted off Bride has a lecture from mother saying dont be lying in bed all day you have to be back here at 9 clearing up and dont be too long about it as I want to go shopping and you have to pick up your son! Fking marvellous! Then the new husband had arranged surprise transport to take bride to hotel they were staying in, up next was a trip in a riot van which they had just bleached out and sat a table and chair in put ribbons on the front and acopmpanied by blue lights and sound effets took them on the 10 min trip to the hotel.Where groom had got a room as a favour from a bloke he knew who was a night porter so off we headed to a nice room over ooking the bins..we had tobe up and ut and breakfasted by 6 though so no one would know we had been there. !5th october 1992..my wedding day.Did the marriage last you may ask...really? NO !!!! Every word of this is true I have the video yes video no wedding disk back then to prove it!

oh and to add 2 weeks after the wedding disco dave topped himself and by then the bride thought of doing the same!!!!!!! Second wedding was a huge sucess though.We eloped and it was fabulous 10 years on its working well and I am the happiest I have ever been! Hurray!!!!!

@sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe
Oh Sally, you couldn't make that up and while I'm sorry that was your own wedding you were talking about, thanks for sharing. From an outside point of view it sounds like a carry on film.
😂😂😂😂

My SIL was a spoilt princess with no suitors . At 27, her parents did not dare inform her of our engagement because MIL said " it would upset her too much, you're making people think she's on the shelf".

FIL rang me on morning of my wedding to warn me that SIL was coming dressed as a bride. He had tried to persuade her to change outfits but she refused. He hoped it wouldn't spoil my day.

Sure enough she turned up wearing ballerina length white lacy dress, with white flowers in her hair. At the reception, the hotel staff mistook her for the bride.

The registrar was a family friend who had known me for years so no ID mistakes during the marriage ceremony. I wore a shocking pink mini dress, groom wore a psychedelic shirt. Both on cloud nine and still happily married.

We went to one with an American groom and a British Sri Lankan bride.

The best man's speech contained the phrase 'it's lovely to see so many brown people here', after which a gasp echoed around the marquee from all the Brits shocked at his casual racism.

Turned out that he and the groom met at Brown university, and he was just welcoming his classmates.