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AIBU?

To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

393 replies

thedysontree · 25/08/2019 19:10

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

OP posts:
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MinnieJackson · 10/06/2020 22:52

@cstaff no not funny at all Sad I was friends with the daughter of the poor man who died. I believe he got sentenced for manslaughter instead of murder. I often wonder when I see the couple how they can bear to celebrate their anniversaryConfused

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cstaff · 10/06/2020 22:24

@MinnieJackson
So there was a murder at a wedding and the couple are still together. Bloody hell Minnie. That is NOT one of those "it will be an entertaining story to tell in a few years" or is it.

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MinnieJackson · 10/06/2020 20:32

A family members wedding. The marriage lasted two days. The groom had told the bride their honeymoon to America was all booked and paid for, the bride had to go through a horrible visa process as her abusive ex boyfriend had once called the police on HER! It was a lie, he'd gambled the money away months ago and was knee deep in payday loans. The bouncy castle never arrived to his outrage, later admitted he'd gambled the money for that aswell. The bridesmaid dropped out last minute so the brides sister stepped in. She was a nightmare. She had been asked first but didn't want to be bridesmaid so it wasn't fair to ask the groom's sister to be bridesmaid either apparently. Sister certainly didn't mind all eyes on her on the day! Got plastered, accused the FOG of calling her a count (he didnt, lovely quiet kind man). MOB defended her lying daughter and arguments escalated. She then sat on her dad's lap sobbing and refused to stay the night and got a taxi home. She was 27. Apparently very frosty breakfast the next morning Confused The bride was well out of it though as the groom is a grade A twat...and he's my family member.

At another local wedding I didn't attend but know lots of people who went (small, rural community) a fight broke out between the brides brother and the groom's uncle. Brother was a trained martial artist, punched the uncle and he died SadSadSad brother is still in prison. The couple are still happily married.

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CoffeeBeansGalore · 08/06/2020 19:57

The wedding we went to a few years ago. The grooms parents were divorced but now quite amicable. The best man's speech consisted of tales of drunken nights out with the groom, mentioned the groom's father's 2nd wife (divorced for at least 10 years at that point) and told a hugely insulting joke about the groom's mum which resulted in an almost theatrical stunned gasp around the room.
Other than that it was a lovely wedding!

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WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 08/06/2020 18:50

The minister at our wedding called my husband "John" throughout the ceremony.

Same thing happened at my Dad’s funeral. Same name, John!

I can only presume they must have a standard order of service sheet - whether official or the vicar's own one. You'd think they'd put XXXXXXX in there, though, instead of an actual name, to avoid confusion. To be honest, it wouldn't be that difficult to print a new one off for each wedding and just 'find and replace' for each couple.

Even worse than that, my DM told me of her Aunt's funeral, where the vicar referred to her as 'he' throughout.

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willowmelangell · 08/06/2020 18:25

Oh gosh, I have lived a sheltered lifeGrin Every day is an education on MN.

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WineAndTiramisu · 07/06/2020 21:05

@willowmelangell
Hang on, go back. What is.." an insanely large Bolivian buffet in the loo.." is this some sort of euphemism @RunningAwaywiththeCircus or a genuine food choice in a questionable location?

Cocaine...

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Pogmella · 07/06/2020 14:54

Oh and another one where at the engagement party at a working men’s’ club in South Wales the police came due to the amount of drug use (we had left), and then at the wedding the BM’s speech was about how he and the groom could have got the death penalty on the stag do in Thailand because he’s hidden cocaine in his luggage. The grandparents walked out in tears.

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HeadSpin5 · 07/06/2020 14:54

@HerBigChance of course, doh!!!

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Pogmella · 07/06/2020 14:52

The BM was a school friend of the groom and thinks he’s some sort of raconteur but really is just an egotistical bar fly at best. He stands up and starts is speech by saying ‘I’ve know Denny- oh, of course YOU ALL know him as Samuel, heh heh heh, Denny is his NICKNAME from school 🙄 that only I know...’ then goes on about how well he knows groom. Then he says ‘I’ve only recently met Emma (bride) so I probably won’t say much about her’ Due to his delivery of this line, most people laughed. Nope: Totally serious. Another 40minutes about how the used to play Dungeons and Dragons together with a few other wedding guests and not a word about the bride! He didn’t even say ‘but she looks beautiful today’ or whatever!!

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HerBigChance · 07/06/2020 14:11

I assumed Bolivian Buffet was cocaine

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PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 07/06/2020 13:59

I went to one where the bride was a teacher at the local church school, and a lot of her class had come along to the church to watch. She'd chosen "One More Step Along the World I Go" and "Who Put the Colours in the Rainbow" for her hymns so the children could all join in, which was sweet, if a little assembly-ish.

But then the vicar (who was also the school's vicar) really emphasised a bit about "tender sexual union". He pronounced it "seck-SHOE-al", and said it three or four times. I didn't dare look at the friend I was sitting next to, because I could feel her shaking with laughter. Goodness knows what the children thought he was talking about!

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HeadSpin5 · 07/06/2020 13:12

I actually googled ‘Bolivian Buffet’ to see if it was something dodgy 🙈🙈🙈

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willowmelangell · 07/06/2020 12:58

Hang on, go back. What is.." an insanely large Bolivian buffet in the loo.." is this some sort of euphemism @RunningAwaywiththeCircus or a genuine food choice in a questionable location?

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Asiama · 06/06/2020 22:10

Father of the bride speech didn't mention the bride at all, only how wonderful the groom is. At least he decided to take out the part where he was going to tell everyone how it is God's commandment that's people must get married...to a room full of single people.

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SarahAndQuack · 06/06/2020 21:54

Ooh, I love a good wedding thread. Grin

I went to the weddings of two sisters, a year or so apart. The first one, the father of the bride made a beautiful, emotional speech about the bride, his youngest daughter. The second one, he mentioned the bride once or twice, but broadly repeated the same speech in praise of the same daughter, now the matron of honour. Given many of the guests had attended both weddings, it was very noticeable and awful!

Also went to a very awkward Catholic wedding where the priest decided to make a big, off-the-cuff homophobic speech, while we guests shuffled awkwardly and the bride looked mortified.

But I can't talk. I'm several years divorced now, but during my wedding the priest (from my ex-husband's very conservative religion) refused to tell me what would happen during the ceremony. He knew some of our guests were disabled, but he instructed everyone to remain standing the entire time. Then he made a long speech about how it was my duty to have babies, very soon. I wasn't at my slimmest and was very self-conscious, and everyone thought I must be about to announce a pregnancy!

Ugh, so many bad memories of my wedding, but I can see the funny side now as friends of mine all remember the look of horror that was creeping across my face as he rambled on about my fertile duties!

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mrsmalcolmreynolds · 06/06/2020 20:53

DH's cousin's wedding stands out for me. Seating plan at the ceremony (for everyone not just wedding party), bride came in to professional singer doing "My heart will go on" accompanied by a harpist. Whole row of us thinking of the French and Saunders sketch and trying desperately not to laugh.

Tables named things like "romance" Envy (not envy).

MoG forced by bridezilla to have her makeup done professionally (MoG is immaculate at all times) and then also forced to have hers done first at 7:30 am so no enjoying hotel spa etc.

Whole party including elderly infirm relatives forced to stand around in the grounds for ages watching B&G having photos taken and then included in one group shot before allowed anything to eat or drink.

I felt sorry for the bride at the time because she just looked so stressed that she couldn't enjoy the day. She turned out to be a really nasty piece of work though - attempted to deny her by then stbxh any access to their DC due to his anxiety/OCD and very nearly ended up being held in contempt due to her behaviour during court hearings.

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Randomness12 · 06/06/2020 19:52

I have 2... the first when I was a bridesmaid and was friends with bride and groom as met them as a couple. They’d been together a long time and living together most of that. During the church service, the vicar went off on this huge tangent about how we’d all prefer if they’d done things gods way and not lived together - this tangent lasted well over 30 minutes and invoked sinners and hell and all sorts. It was incredible!

The second, a couple got married a few months after we did. During our wedding she’s commented to everyone about how lovely everything was, she loved the flowers, and the centre pieces and the song we had as I walked down the aisle and first dance. Imagine my surprise when 3 months later we walked into an almost carbon copy replica! We have the same huge group of friends, everyone knew. Everyone noticed and everyone commented on it. When I managed to catch up with the bride she said she was so inspired by ours she changed everything! Who does that?!!!!

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MamaGee09 · 06/06/2020 19:03

The one where the mother of the groom caused a scene when her ex husband(grooms father) stood next to her! She threw a hissy fit and went to her room and missed out on dinner and the reception!

Or the one where the father of the bride solely talked about how much money the wedding was costing him, and how it was his bank account that was paying and how his wallet was much lighter than it had been! It was so cringe!

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sunflowersandtulips50 · 06/06/2020 17:04

Went to a wedding abroad - friends second wedding, his first wife had died . The new wife had a similar name to his first (think lena and corlena). The best man was his brother and he was really anxious and at the end of his speech he asked everyone to raise there glasses to and you guessed it he called out his first wifes name. The bride lost the plot and ran screaming from the reception with her bridesmaids running after her..... funny thing it everyone was so pissed that most hadnt picked up the error.....the groom sat back had a drink and laughed

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CoquettishIngenue · 06/06/2020 16:43

@ChocolatelyAsFuck

Oh god, that's awful!

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SimonJT · 06/06/2020 16:24

I was a waiter in my late teens/early twenties and sometimes worked at wedding receptions.

-The wedding with a number of Scottish guests, the dance floor was mirrored!

  • The bride who poured a glass of wine over her young (maybe 8/9) daughters head because she fell asleep.
  • The bride who had been married before, her Dad kept calling the new husband the wrong name and said he preferred the old husband.
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NameChangerinDespair · 06/06/2020 16:20

@OldLace, I was just curious, as I used to move in that world ...

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Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/06/2020 16:09

Not once did anyone say that a ceilidh wasn't their sort of thing

Even if it wasn't, they didn't have to be so rude as to clear out to somewhere else. To my mind you either accept an invitation in all its parts or just don't go - doubly so when they already knew what was planned

Anyway, even if they didn't want to dance the music's fun ...

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OldLace · 06/06/2020 16:02

@NameChangerinDespair

Ah, sorry, didn't mean to be all 'mysterious'.
I won't name the MP as it would then possibly 'out' his ex-wife?

Suffice to say i mentioned his MP 'status' as he is the type of twat who gives being a male MP in the UK a bad name - gammon faced, snobbish, lazy prat. She is SO much better off without him.

Which is why it was so ironic his Mother was making her feelings clear about her DIL. Actually, she should have welcomed her gladly (to water down the Prat - genes for future children)

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