To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

Groom's 2nd wedding... he had the same best man as wedding #1. Best man's speech just went on and ON about the first stag do, the first wedding, the first time he did this speech etc etc. Bride's face was a rictus grin. Her mother's face was furious!

Then the groom had his turn. He'd written a poem (apparently he was a bit of a secret poet). How we wish he'd kept that secret to himself. It was toe-curling. I caught the eye of my cousin at our table and we had to stuff the napkins in our mouths to stop ourselves laughing. It was painful.

Bobismyfriend It was also incredibly long and boring so to pass the time in the evening me and my DF at the time had a shag round the side of the very pretty barn it was held in. So not all bad.

Your DF?

An uncle (who may or may not be mine) was supposed to drive the hired wedding car for my bridesmaids and the in-laws to be dropped off to and from.
He picked them up but failed to do anything else other than drive a brand new Merc for his own usage...
A SIL wouldn’t come for fittings so they had to buy a plain coloured MOH dress two days before the wedding and she threw a hissy because they refused to let her wear the same colour fascinator since she’d look like she was attending a funeral and gave her what my other bridesmaids were wearing.
She also was too busy with the photographer that she failed in doing her MOH duties (she failed at all of them tbh but hey who’s counting - bride is still waiting for that hen do 6 years on! ) bride’s mum had to go back to get her bouquet making her miss her photos with just her mum before the service.

Then after the service at the top table her MIL proceeds to tell her that she’s glad she wore white (rather than the black dress she had envisioned she was wearing) no you look lovely or beautiful just thanks for not ‘embarrassing me’
The only people on the top table drinking were the bride’s DH his parents and best man, oh and the new SIL so the IL’s paid for the alcohol/bottle of champagne to the tune of £500 (then came back the next day to pick the rest up)
However! Later evening the SIL got so drunk she had to be walked (if you can call it walking, more like dragged by her ex husband) around the venue car park while my IL’s called a taxi to take them home this was around 10pm - ended at 12am and everyone else managed to stay upright lol.

The ILs don’t like the woman who married their son they didn’t want him to marry her but he isn’t their child that got divorced this year.

A more amusing wedding story for you - my cousins wedding reception the groom decided to preform the dirty dancing choreography for the first dance, but they were too drunk and at the end of it he just pulled his trousers down instead of the lift.

Echobelly, I obviously need lots more Jewish friends, cos i think that's the appropriate way to behave, when there's family present.

I wonder if men actually feel pressured to deliver this kind of bollocks; and if they haven't been on a week long stag do to Prague and been Zorbing, they must all be secretly gay. 🙄

At my s-i-law's HN, her MOH had t-shirts made with a close-up picture of the bride and groom drunkenly snogging (I hesitate to use that word. I hate it).
It was bloody awful and I refused to wear it.
And these t-shirts were then passed around at the wedding, for all the family to see!
I was mortified for her.

You made the Daily Mail news stories online

I sang in a 'choir' for a wedding. She was a good friend too.
Just 3 of us singing, intention was that we led the singing, not that we performed. Congregation was getting restless as bride was late.
wedding due to start at 2 pm. At 2, only about 1/4 of congregation were there, by 2:30, 3/4 of congregation were there, and by 3 ish, I think they were all there.
Bride wasn't though.

Bride was 1 hour 15 minutes late.
We had entertained the congregation with every song we knew, and were worn out before the service began. Apparently bride was ready and dressed, and her mother took her ds (bride's son) out for a haircut, and THEN decided that he needed a little cushion to hold the rings..... Bride was stamping up and down tearing her hair out.

Then we (the singers) decided to head off to the reception while the rest of the photos were being done. Reception was in a hall owned by the same church. It was all being done by family, food, tables decoration etc all done by them.
The night before the bride and grooms family were supposed to come and help them set out tables and put up decorations. None turned up, so bride and groom were there until 3 am setting tables etc.

We arrived at the hall about 20 minutes ahead of the rest of the crowd, intending to have a cup of tea and pinch something to eat before the party started, as we were worn out and a bit fed up. In the kitchen we found a cousin of the bride sitting surrounded by tesco bags, 8 months pregnant, looking dreadful, with her toddler running round. She had all the ingredients for the salads etc, but it was all sitting there in bags.
So, being nice friends, we set too and got it all out and started making the starter and salads. Apparently the rest was 'on it's way' The curry and rice eventually arrived, after the wedding party did. It was in HUGE saucepans, and it was stone cold. So they put these enormous pans on the tiny gas stove to heat it up.....

It took an hour and a half for that pan to get hot enough to serve.
There was no-one apart form the old auntie who had cooked it and the pregnant lady to serve it up, (all the helpful cousins had vanished) so the three of us set too and served it all, then got huge platefuls for ourselves (it was delicious curry) and took over a table at the back and ate and drank to our hearts content, and then kissed the bride goodbye and left. I didn't feel like listening to any speeches for some reason!

We did it for her, she was nice, family a write off.

My wedding where my new FIL, MIL, SIL and my DH's grandparents watched the rugby during the speeches - they either had their phones on their laps, or wandered out of the room to check scores on a TV in another room at our venue. Ironically none of them have been watching the rugby recently in the run-up to the world cup...

My FIL also went to the loo just before my DH's speech and was absent as my DH thanked his parents!

We still had a wonderful day and as my DH's relationship with his parents and eldest sister was already a bit strained we were thankful nothing else happened!

I wasn’t at this wedding, it was the sister of a colleague who got married but I had to pretend to be very impressed when she showed me the video.

For the first dance they were ‘introduced’ by a recording of someone impersonating the bloke that does X factor/BGT voiceovers then came out and did a routine to party rock anthem by LMFAO. The groom even wore a box on his head.

At my sister's wedding, the vicar said, "We are here to celebrate the wedding of Dave and Jackie..." at this point, it was pointed out that the bride's name was not, in fact, Jackie.

On the way back down the aisle, the little pageboy carrying the train of her very expensive dress suddenly sneezed, and wiped his nose with the nearest piece of fabric...oops!

At my SIL's wedding, the father of the groom (who is a nasty, bullying man) helped himself to a large slice of the wedding cake before the bride and groom officially cut it. He then told his new DIL not to me "so bloody ridiculous!" when she objected.

Also, the best man put up a slideshow, during his speech, of the groom cuddling various random women on his stag do. My poor SIL (and the rest of us) was mortified.

The bride wore a dress encrusted with sharp gems that cut the inside of her arms. She was bleeding all over her gown.

The father of the bride is a keen fisherman and used a fishing analogy in an anecdote about her. Her pissed aunt shouted out "you should have thrown her back in!". The bride filled up with tears and I could have strangled the aunt,

The same aunt told me (and the rest of the guests) and dh that we both looked so smart that she thought he would get me pregnant that night.

I’ve managed to read all of these now and I still think your story, @Cosyjimjamsforautumn , takes the wedding cake. That’s definitely a (horribly creepy) wedding I’d remember for decades.

I was at a large Catholic wedding where the priest took the opportunity of all us new people in church to do a long, blistering, spittle-flecked blood-and-thunder sermon against abortion. It wasn't quite the celebratory tone we'd expected.

My mother snogged one of BILS friends and DSIS wedding.

She was there with my dad and they are still married.

@Kannet not an urban legend. Bride and groom ended up fighting and my colleagues arrived and arrested them both. Was in the papers too, with pictures.

My aunt kissed her nephew by marriage on the mouth. It was caught on my wedding video.

Oh, and she was married.

My isnt as bad as these, but the only one i could think of was one where the bride originally wanted herself, her dad and her bridesmaids to walk down the aisle to mama do the hump while dancing the moves to it

Thankfully (as i was a bridesmaid) someone talked her out of it, tho by the time we got to the reception (there was a gap of a few hours, where we all had to go home and hang around waiting) the bride had decided to change out of her wedding dress into old tshirt, jogging bottoms & old ugg boots

Church ceremony in Scotland followed by reception. Guests all sent on ahead to the very grand reception venue and made to wait outside.

Then walking up the drive appears a man playing the bagpipes followed by the bride sat on a huge horse and the reigns being held by the groom.
The man with the bagpipes was attempting to give a decent recondition of The Lion Kings ‘Can you feel the love tonight’.

That is just not a song which translates well to being played on the bagpipes 🙉

Thank god the drive was pretty long as it gave the guests time to compose themselves after initially laughing.

@Bobbiepin

I read a thing about when a bridesmaid announced her engagement at the wedding so when she asked the original bride to be her bridesmaid, the first bride announced her pregnancy!

see this makes me feel bad because I asked my friend to be my bridesmaid at her wedding 'reception' (she eloped but had a party at home) but just because we never get to see each other in person and I was going to ask her at the engagement party but she couldnt come last minute so when I saw her I got over excited and blurted it out

in my defence it wasnt really an 'announcement' I had gotten engaged and announced way before and she obviously knew because she was invited to the engagement party + I just asked her in person when it was just us (no one else was around) and she seemed excited

Although my sister is very talented at writing poetry but she read three very cringy poems out in tears of emotion at our wedding breakfast. I sm by no means emotionally stilted but honestly by fixed wmile spoke volumes.

A wedding where the overbearing bride threw her garter into a crowd of men who parted like the Red Sea and the garter lay there till someone kicked it back into the middle of the room.

I was bridesmaid at wedding where tensions had been fraught for weeks beforehand. It ended up as a catalogue of disasters. The main highlights being the bride battering the fuck out of her groom of 2 hours with her flowers, the other 2 bridesmaids falling out and sister bridesmaid putting friend bridesmaid on her arse for being cheeky about her mum and my own personal favourite, the bride donig her first dance with her dog. A day never to be forgotten. They're still together too.

Oh! Have just realised this is a zombie thread!

M’y best friend had a very upmarket wedding reception in a stately home type of place.
The newly weds were in the bridal suite and the 3 bridesmaids had rooms on the next floor down.
In the middle of the night the bride knocked on my door in tears saying she couldn’t sleep with her new husband as he was so drunk he had weed the bed and also covered the bed and himself in vomit 🤮
She spent the night in my bed sobbing her heart out and telling me all of his shortcomings 🤣
20 years on they are still married and we are not allowed to talk about the wedding night.