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Original poster

To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

393 replies

thedysontree · 25/08/2019 19:10

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

OP posts:
Firstworddinosaur · 29/08/2019 17:49

Open mic for the speeches. Anyone could get up and say their piece. And they did. It went on for hours.

saj90 · 29/08/2019 17:55

@thesoftblueone Oh my god that's awful, especially the bit about the groom boasting...

MulticolourMophead · 29/08/2019 19:24

MissConductUS Despite some people in the UK going for style over substance, in general people will also talk for decades about a wedding that wasn't properly hosted here, too.

MissConductUS · 29/08/2019 19:39

Good to know MulticolourMophead and that certainly makes sense, but poor catering gets mentioned repeatedly here on MN whenever weddings come up. I've been to many weddings in the US and can't recall one where the food wasn't abundant and nicely done, even if it was just BBQ.

imalrightjack · 29/08/2019 19:56

Best man did a speech and mentioned the stag do. Said that the groom had made a special friend at the stag do and this friend was here today to say hello.

Best man briefly leaves room and returns with a blow upset doll, who he then proceeded to sit at the top table in between bride and groom.

Bride was not happy at all. The rest of us were 😮

imalrightjack · 29/08/2019 19:56

*blow up sex doll. God damn it!

spanieleyes · 29/08/2019 20:22

The vicar's speech at my wedding ( so some time ago!) was all about the Falklands War!

VeryLittleOwl · 29/08/2019 20:30

The skidmark on the wedding dress isn't an urban legend - picture of the newspaper cutting here:

www.huffpost.com/entry/scottish-wedding-fight_n_870389

itchyfinger · 29/08/2019 21:02

@Rainbowknickers I was also at a wedding where that was the best man's opening 'line. I had a good laugh! Maybe it was the same wedding?!

Rainbowknickers · 29/08/2019 21:40

@itchyfingers I hope so!lol at my brothers it was just stony silence
All the old rellies just looked confused and the rest of us where cringing
This wedding was in York

LeatherBottle · 29/08/2019 22:11

@Spidey66 - it wasn’t at Club St Lucia was it? I went to a very similar wedding there

motortroll · 29/08/2019 22:32

A friend of mines wedding, I went to the evening do. Her son was a fab dancer and at some fancy dance school but he favoured the kind of interpretative dance I cant get my head round.

She and her son "performed" for the guests. Her new husband had to sit in a chair in the middle. She sung (not very well) while he threw himself round the floor in a leotard.

My boss was there and I couldn't look at him or my husband cos I knew I'd lose it!

We left early!

namechange911 · 29/08/2019 23:17

Good friend of mine had a shotgun wedding, no one had told the minister (presumably because he would not marry them had he known) & the poor man referred to them starting a family in the future & how special it was that they had saved themselves several times throughout the ceremony. Extremely cringe, especially as the bride was very obviously 6 months pregnant
Same wedding had an open floor for speeches, a mutual friend stood up, congratulated the newly weds & told an in depth story of how they broke up & got back together again repeatedly over the yearsConfused

itchyfinger · 30/08/2019 07:04

@RainbowKnickers oh no it must be a repeated joke then, this wedding was abroad. Very very funny, but ours was the only table laughing, the family didn't like it.

beela · 30/08/2019 07:34

We went to a wedding where the vicar was an old uni friend of the groom. The sermon was more like a best man's speech, all about the crazy times they had had, and didn't mention the bride at all. The vicar's toddler ds wandered around at the front of the church for most of the service. Later on, the vicar nearly took several people out with his energetic dancing... Certainly cleared a space on the dance floor anyway!

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 30/08/2019 07:50

poor catering gets mentioned repeatedly here on MN whenever weddings come up That's probably because nobody will post about how good the food was on a worst/most cringeworthy weddings thread. People remember not being fed becasue it stands out. All the wedding planning threads usually say how important the catering is because you want happy guests and people remember inadequate catering. I'd imagine that's the same across many countries and cultures.

Weathergirl1 · 30/08/2019 08:00

@VeryLittleOwl that's a different one to the one I mentioned as I saw it on a forum in 2006/7! Must be quite the hazard with so many men in kilts 🤣

Spidey66 · 30/08/2019 08:13

@LeatherBottle it was called Smugglers Cove. I understand it's since been demolished. Says a lot really.

Sugarplumfairyfartface · 30/08/2019 11:12

Went to one "ladz" wedding and they were all winding up the best man about his speech and it had better be good etc.. He ended up getting utterly pissed and when it was time for his speech they were so many shouts jeers and yells to get on with it (before he even spoke) he just slurred incoherently "ah you're all cunts" and sat back down no speech!
Another one a "destination wedding" the brides siblings got paraletic got told off by dad had a fight got locked out of apartment fell asleep on lawn outside in bridesmaid dress till bride came out saw them and helped them into her honeymoon suite where they spent the night with her and husband!

Ameanstreakamilewide · 30/08/2019 12:02

Do all of these Best Men just Google BM speeches?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do they all feel compelled to do the whole 'the groom has slept with a few ropey women'
'We've all done some cocaine' schtick??

What annoys me is the lack of originality, but most of all, the blatant disregard for the presence of family members.
Know your audiences, fellas - you can't make 'jokes' like that in front of parents and grandparents, in my opinion.

When I'm in power, I'll have anyone who makes these terrible speeches rounded up and shot.

herbsmokedchicken · 30/08/2019 13:08

Agree with “know your audience”! I went to a cousin’s wedding where the best man started with “I did some research, and apparently the ideal length of time for a best man’s speech is as long as he can last in bed. Thank you all for coming.”

He then sat down (and got up after to do a proper speech). Absolutely brought the house down as we were all as childish as each other but can see how another wedding, that could have been met with tumbleweed.

No stories to contribute tho, I’ve actually only been to a couple of weddings and they were all lovely.

herbsmokedchicken · 30/08/2019 13:09

*as long as the groom can last in bed!!

Groovee · 30/08/2019 19:20

Went to a wedding which was held in a business centre in the middle of a housing estate.

The bridal party had gone for photos and the "buffet" was chocolate fingers in a waiting area. All hell broke loose when the bridal party arrived and there were none left.

Got into the function room and the buffet was laid out already. Coleslaws, Hams, salads... it was 4 hours before they served that one. We left early and picked up McDonald's.

The night time was karaoke. Where one girl kept getting up and singing. She was dreadful but her table kept whooping and cheering.

Honestly wished we hadn't bothered.

Cryalot2 · 30/08/2019 20:19

Thanks for starting this, its going to take a while to finish as soo good lol Smile
We went to one where groomsmen got so drunk and high spirited that wearing kilts they decided to twirl to the music showing what was not wore under their kilts.
Another I turned up in the same colour as mother of the bride ( she looked miles better ,but her hat cost more than a holiday)

Echobelly · 02/09/2019 22:09

@Ameanstreakamilewide - DH warned his best men (not Jewish) that 'that kind' of best men's speech was not the done thing, so thankfully they didn't.

DH decided to make his speech without notes (I made mine with), said lovely thanks to lots of people and forgot to say anything about his wonderful new wife. Thankfully, so many people commented on how happy he looked the whole afternoon I don't think anyone went away thinking I was underappreciated.