To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

The cringiest are those where another couple decide to announce their engagement. Why. Would. You. Do. That?!!

pmsl at total eclipse! Did people laugh ? I would have struggled to keep a straight face !

I was at a wedding where the dj played the wrong song for the bride and groom's first song. Instead of the U2 track they asked for he played 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for'! 😊

I read a thing about when a bridesmaid announced her engagement at the wedding so when she asked the original bride to be her bridesmaid, the first bride announced her pregnancy!

There's a thread somewhere in classics where the Mil wore a white playsuit with no knickers and you could quite obviously see her au naturel bush.

Nothing I ever read about wedding cringes will surpass that! Total Eclipse bride sounds awesome

I was someone's +1 at a family wedding. The vicar said - and this is an almost exact quote...

"Marriage is hard. It's a sad fact that you are far more likely to be killed by your spouse than a stranger. I've been married for seven years and if I'd have known back then how hard it could be; I might not have done it."

He carried on a bit along that theme. I was stiffling a laugh so hard I almost wet myself. Afterwards, everyone said how beautiful the service had been

I wasn’t at the wedding but I saw a video of someone I know timelessly singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight during the wedding breakfast. It looked awkward for all involved.

I went to a wedding where the bride's mother drank so much alcohol that she peed herself and a relative had to strip her off and put her to bed.

My friend went to a family wedding where the bride and bridesmaids disappeared and returned in costume (very little costume) to perform a burlesque dance routine. She said nobody knew where to put themselves😂. I cringed almost inside out just watching the video on her phone. The look of discomfort on most of the guests faces was priceless. Several were laughing so hard they had to leave the room.

I've been to a few weddings where the suggestion comes up that all those on the hen should get up and perform whatever shitshow of a dance routine they had to learn on the hen - a big fat NO every time!

The best man did a slide show about the groom during his speech.
One of the photos was of the groom using an outside shower during a trip to Africa. Thankfully not a full frontal, but embarrassing enough.
It's all anyone remembers about the wedding. Not the bride's lovely dress, not the lovely service or the nice food. Just a nude photo of the groom.
Another wedding somebody thought it would be hilarious to put a cow pat in the car the bride and groom were leaving in. The bride hadn't intended to change out of her wedding dress and was utterly incensed by it. Plus it stank the car out.
One person found it hilarious, everyone else was angry.

When the father of the bride's speech didn't mention the bride. Instead he went on and on about the bride's cousin who was a talented sportsperson. We still talk about it 6 years on

I was at a wedding where the first dance was after the ‘daddy daughter’ dance - everyone had to watch the bride dance with her dad before the music changed and the groom ‘cut in’ for their first dance. It was very cringey and weird!!

Full striptease by the groomsmen at the night do. Half of the guests walked out.

I went to the evening party of a colleague. There was a photo board up with pictures of the naked arses of all the "hens" taken on the hen do. You had to try and guess whos arse was whos!!!

These are brilliant

My brothers wedding
Picture loads of old rellies sitting there waiting for the best mans speech
He stands up and his opening line is
‘I did prepare some lines-but the groom snorted them...’

Tumbleweed rolled past...

At my female cousin’s wedding, the best man was completely drunk by the time he got up to give his speech. He kept laughing at his own jokes BEFORE GETTING TO THE PUNCHLINE so nobody had a clue what he was laughing about, and he referenced at length the groom’s former sexual exploits in front of a room full of the bride and groom’s relatives... I mean really... :-/

A couple did indeed announce their engagement at my wedding
I cheerfully ignored this information and congratulated them the next day. Fuck that noise.

Wedding with 3 best men and all 3 did speeches barely mentioning the existence of the bride.

First one was mildly amusing, second was misogynistic and third one was borderline racist. Very glad when that part of the day was over.

At a family wedding the best man (also the groom's brother) gave a long 'lad's bantz' speech which included a rambling and involved story about the groom getting pissed and shitting himself. Which was nice.

One of the many reasons that I avoid weddings like the plague.

@Rainbowknickers first time I can say LOL and actually mean it 😂😂😂

Mid 80s wedding, there was a song at the time called Strip for me babe or something like that. The DJ played it and within seconds the groom was completely starkers on the dance floor. The song went on for ages, just him standing there bollock naked. The bride was in tears and everyone was desperately trying to get him dressed and off the floor. Tensions rose quickly and a huge fight broke out, it was awful. They were divorced within 18 months.

I went to a wedding where the grooms mum and dad had split up quite close to the wedding.
They were both on the top table and I was watching the mum knocking back the champagne but she seemed in good form... until the speeches.
The best man was going on about what a good guy the groom was etc. There was natural break where he had a bit of his drink and you heard his mum say and it echoed around the room " unlike his father who wanted a blue Peter badge when he got it up"
Followed by gasps and sniggers.

Ha
Jeez

Argh the 'daddy-daughter dance' only seen it once, but I nearly died. bride, her dad, mum and sister all slow dancing together (as in all 4 hugging and swaying together) while the tuneless bride screeched the song into her poor dads face and the already very drunk mother stumbled and was being held up by the other 3 dancers. I could feel the dad cringing.

Same wedding, at the church the couples youngest dc (5) was so badly behaved, running and shouting at the alter, hanging off the table behind the priest and throwing things that the priest stopped the wedding and said they had to do something or he wouldn't continue with the ceremony. Later the brides 10yo dc and 8yo dn sang a couple of songs- well the dn sang, the dc screeched over her the entire time with a different song. A few members of the grooms family turned up at the church in jogging bottoms and t-shirts, already drunk too.

It was an interesting day.