To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

My wedding during the speeches. My dad had already said didn't want to do a speech ( doesn't like public speaking) . Anyway my dB did speech on his behalf which was fine .my dad was encouraged by the wedding party to speak . They were all shouting speech it was very awkward and cringy as my dad just got up said he didn't want to speak and just said congratulations to the bride & groom and sat down .
Years later me and dh still together but don't speak to my dad after he's since sent a message to say what he thinks of my dh all not nice .

My favourite father-of-the-bride speech was for a friend of my wife's, wherein the FotB took the opportunity to recount how his daughter had surpassed all her cousins academic achievements (A-Levels, Oxford, doctorate etc...) and his pride at her having outdone them.

We were sat at a table with said cousins and they were fuming ! I think there must have been some proper competitive family dynamics going on during their childhoods. It made for great entertainment for the rest of us, and a very satisfying moment I'm sure for the FotB.

Wedding was in a hot country... Post ceremony but before any other formalities the best man thought it would be a good idea to push the bride in to the pool. You can imagine how well that went down...

Went to a wedding when DS was about 3. As we were waiting for the bride and groom to come to the reception DS said he needed the toilet, so DH took him.

The MC had just announced the 'pray silence for the bride and groom' when DS came trotting back shouting across the room:

It's ok mummy, I didn't need a poo after all. It was just a big trump'.

Luckily everyone thought he was hilarious.

My mum is a wedding planner for a very posh venue and some of the stories she comes home with are amazing!

From the Russian bride who called off the wedding last min because the groom wanted her to sign a pre-nup and when I say last min, I’m talking everyone at the venue. She used the reception phone to book a flight back to Russia.

To the one where police had to be called after the biggest fight broke out- People where amused at the sex noises coming from the disables loos. Turned out it was mother of the bride and father of the groom.

And then there was the cutting of the cake that got interrupted by the police arresting the groom for having inappropriate images of children.

A close friend of mine got married 4 years ago. Her dad's not a native English speaker, so spent lots of time finessing and translating his speech. She's also got two other sisters, one of whom is a bit of a 'golden child' type.

Anyway, Father if the Bride speech time rolls around, and he gives a LOVELY speech about... her sister. But not on purpose - he got them confused (even though they're nothing alike). Told us how proud he was of her for graduating with an arts degree and becoming a designer (my friend is in finance). As his speech was drawing to a close, my friend just said: "I think you're talking about [sister], dad".

I went to an evening reception for a colleague's civil partnership years ago. I also partook the free champagne and combined it with beer, and got too drunk.

Stodgy food is a must at weddings. Never again.

I didn’t witness this, but a friend attended a huge fancy wedding where the bride and groom split up at the end of the reception! They got the whole thing annulled.
He was Greek with a big Greek family and she was British. Apparently the couple started arguing as his family felt she wasn’t being respectful as she’d asked if the music could be changed from traditional Greek music for the last half hour, to something that everyone could dance to. He ended up snatching her ring back & they split up there & then.

My friend was marrying a comitted Morris dancer. He was keen to be unusual and alternative, and they tried very hard to make the Order of Service original, so we had awful clichéd poetry rather than tried and tested Bible readings....but the high spot was to be at the end.
The last hymn was "Lord of the Dance", and the plan was that, just before we all sang it, the Morris side would prance in, and then lead us out dancing.
This would have worked if better coordinated, but what actually happened was, that as we all sat quietly during the serious, prayerful, contemplative part of the service, the doors flung open too soon.
Enter Morris side, bells a-jingling, accordion rattling out a merry tune.
Danced up the aisle, realised they had come in too soon, wheeled around and jingled out again, to wait for the proper time for their entrance. We were then expected to keep our faces straight for the final prayers.......there was a dance outside the church, followed by the genuine expectation that we dance, in couples, to the reception. This was not a quaint country church, but one of the less salubrious parts of sarf-east London.
The reception began with traditional English country dances, which rather excluded the majority who had no idea what "form up in longways eight sets" actually meant. And yes, the beverage of choice was Real Ale.

Can nobody beat Sofia Loren?

Isn't that Raquel Welch?

Wedding was in a hot country... Post ceremony but before any other formalities the best man thought it would be a good idea to push the bride in to the pool. You can imagine how well that went down...

OMG!!!

Some of these are hilarious!

The brides father during his speech went on and on about how beautiful his daughter looked, how proud he was of her, told stories of her childhood etc. Problem was he was talking about his other daughter who was the maid of honour. The bride got a small mention towards the end.

My cousin got married about 6 months after DH and I did. As children there was always a little element of competition between our Mums; she and I are 6 months apart and both Mums over the years took great delight in trying to oneupmanship one another over all kinds of unimportant shit. It was odd but it was just one of those quirks of growing up with a pushy parent.

My cousin came in and did the vows all solemn, but at the very end of the church service out of nowhere she and her bridesmaids performed a gymnastics routine back down the aisle (think half handstands rather than Simone Biles, and she'd never been a dancer or gymnast as a child so there was no real reason to try on her wedding day) with one portly bridesmaid doing cartwheels and flashing her thong to the church. At the end of the performance her Mum stood up and announced "You didn't see that at Fudge's wedding" as we all filed out behind the shellshocked groom.

Their marriage lasted less than twelve months and is another source of great joy for my Mum in the eternal contest between their children.

At one wedding I attended, the chief bridesmaid gave a speech that included the line:

"When Katie told me she was getting married to Brett, I was like 'who the fuck is Brett?'"

Deadly silence ensued.

Some of these are hilarious.

Many years ago we were at a wedding where the bride and grooms family were terribly middle class and didn't approve of drinking to excess. So one of the guests who was a little too rough around the edges for the parents liking was getting drunker and drunker at the free bar.

By the evening despite a really well catered buffet and having already been served a beautiful wedding breakfast, said guest was so drunk, lolling over everyone, swearing very loudly despite there being lots of children there and being extremely inappropriate.

The finale was them throwing up over one of the tables before passing out in spectacular style and falling to the floor. Ambulance had to be called so people went home instead of gawping at the paramedics trying to sort this vomit covered, unconscious person.

This has never been forgotten by the bride and grooms parents many years later and that person will always be known as the wedding ruiner.

I got invited to come along to a register office wedding by a sad little party I'd never met before. The little 16 y.o bride was wearing a worn out jumper and skirt. No flowers, no nice anything. But she was visibly pregnant. The groom was very much older.

I'd met them in the pub and we went back there after the ceremony. After a few drinks the groom tried to get me into bed. I'd been very uncomfortable before this but this was the final straw. I left them to it.

I still wonder why her parents thought ramming her through this loveless ceremony was a good idea and what happened to the poor young thing and her baby.

Went to a wedding of a work colleague of DH's where the bride was so obviously grumpy at the ceremony. Actually not just grumpy, but openly hostile. It was in a church and it was packed.

She never appeared at the reception. At first we were told that B&G and immediate family had gone to take location wedding shots. However just over three hours later, with no food and an extortionate bar, the groom appeared on his own. Thanked everyone for coming and then left with no explication, nothing.

Turns out that Bride had only gone through with the big day because she felt obliged to, I don't know what happened but they split and he went on honeymoon alone. He has since got married to someone else, but we were not invited.

The one where the father of the bride gave out the thankyou gifts.. and the MOH a sexy thong. Him in his 60s and her in her 20s- she was baffled and mortified. Same wedding the food was an Iceland buffet provided by various family members which ran out halfway through the guests. The bride was visibly stressed and awful to everyone. I couldn’t wait to get home

Also went to a wedding with a cheese wedding cake. It was in June and it was boiling. It stunk half the reception out. In thr end reception staff had to move it out. Was looking quite sweaty.

The one where the bride's Italian uncle who had a poor grasp of English was overseeing the music. As they signed the register he played Roxette's "It must have been love but it's over now."

The one where a friend had a drunken meltdown because she hadn't been asked to be bridesmaid, then proceeded to stick sugar cubes down my cleavage during the speeches and grab the microphone off the wedding singer mid-song.

The one where the speeches took place before the wedding breakfast and dragged on for over an hour, mainly on the subject of football, which DH was finding incredibly dull. Bored and on an empty stomach he was swigging whisky from a hip flask to avoid the sky-high prices at the bar. He got so drunk he then proceeded to suck my toes at the dinner table in front of the unsuspecting guests. At no other point in our marriage has he ever shown an interest in toe sucking! Later on he cleared the dancefloor dancing wildly to a live rockabilly band and continued the one-man party back at our hotel room, thrashing his legs under the duvet in his sleep and shouting, "rock, rock, rockabilly rock!" until he fell out of bed. He has zero recollection of his antics to this day.

At my first wedding my step MIL turned up in a polo neck and trousers like she was off to work and wore sunglasses the whole time. She didn't come to the reception. She had brought a very nice and expensive outfit but chose to behave like a sulky child because my lovely dad had suggested to her that the mother of the groom might like to sit at the front of the v small church to see her actual son say his vows and could she sit on the row behind. Given that she had been the OW it didn't seem unreasonable to me but she obviously disagreed.

It bothers me more now than then because I was very young and didn't really pay her any attention for it. Which was probably the best thing I could have done!

A work colleague (male) wedding. His new fil gave a 45 minute speech about his daughter (bride) including all her academic and dance achievements. Then her brother who spoke about his own career in dance. I felt so sorry for the groom. The bride refused to kiss or hold hands with the groom too 😟. They are still together though.

Ive heard about cheese wedding cakes sometimes peo0ple prfer it to cake or they cant eat certain foods

Im baffled at the moh fooling aorund witrh the groom and still standing there on the their wedding day after being punched-i mean why

Wedding a few years ago. Groom's friends from university were mainly female. The bride is a vet who loves dogs and each table was named after dog breeds. His female friends were put on the "Rottweiler" table.