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Original poster

To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

393 replies

thedysontree · 25/08/2019 19:10

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

OP posts:
MrsGaryLightbody · 26/08/2019 00:03

Can't poss say who I was I this scenario..
Groom been married before and insisted on his ex wife attending to look after his teenage child on the day.. on giving his speech he thanked bridesmaids, parents etc and then gave emotionally long chapter and verse on how he had been so thankful to have the support of such a special person on the day and it had truly made the wedding special to him .. all eyes on teen child thinking mmm maybe the bride could get a mention.. then he says so all raise your glasses to Sarah... the ex wife Hmm

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 26/08/2019 00:06

MrsGary - please say you weren’t the new wife Confused

MrsGaryLightbody · 26/08/2019 00:07

Grinnot for long

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 26/08/2019 00:09

This is possibly outing. DH and I had a large age gap. His best man's speech rambled on about the advances in aviation between our respective dates of birth Grin No idea why, none of us were particularly interested in aviation and everybody was bemused by the speech. (It was around this time, incidentally, that we realised the best man had a drinking problem...)

EEmother · 26/08/2019 00:10

The best man deciding to structure his speech around the curious fact that the groom has had a drunken ONS with the bride's sister when both were in high school. It was 15 years before the relationship between the bride and the groom even began, the bride was aware and ok with it, but it was a surprise to both families and ~95% of the wedding guests.

ThreeGreenHippos · 26/08/2019 00:15

My cousin who my brother and I didn't get along with at all was at our parents wedding. A fight naturally broke out between the three of us in the back garden within minutes of everybody coming back to our parents house to get changed etc before heading to the club that was just up the road. Looking back on it, the whole thing was extremely embarrassing for my parents but more so my poor mother (She was the one who dealt with it from what I can recall!) especially since family members from both sides were there at the time. I believe the three of us were just entering our teenage stage back then and I think that may have played a part in amplifying our hate for each other. Can you just imagine what they must have thought when they were all chatting away to each other and then suddenly hearing what appears to be a murder taking place at the top of the garden near the shed? I just wish my brother and I didn't let our cousin provoke us to the point where we both ended up going nuclear with him because the guilt of spoiling our parents wedding day still eats away at me.

R2G · 26/08/2019 00:19

Best man turned up in a tracksuit.
Best man swearing so much in the speech someone in the room shouted' there's kids here'
Bride wearing a sleeveless dress with a massive football crest tattoo on her shoulder looked really awful

pigeononthegate · 26/08/2019 00:19

A fried of mine married a woman from a very straight-laced religious family. The best man stood up and thanked the bride's father for cumming. It was horrific.

Kanga83 · 26/08/2019 00:27

Probably outing if my batshit sil's on here but hey ho. At my wedding she'd had a fight with her fiancé, my Bil and refused to acknowledge him. complained loudly about each course of food and had each dish sent back and amended in some way, she pole danced in her hip high split long black dress and tried it on with every bloke and got so drunk she had to be escorted outside after telling a couple of my friends that their partners wanted to f*ck her. Thankfully my friends were having non of it and took it in turns to make sure she had no way of getting back into the venue. Bil (her fiancé at the time) was useless and never stands up to her. She's generally a vile being and I don't talk to her. She married BIL two years later when I took great pleasure in wearing a 50s style cream dress with and waiting until just before the speeches to announce I was pregnant along with scan pics. Tacky I know but she deserved it and apart from il's (who I don't get on with) I knew no one so didn't care I looked like I was in a short wedding dress for her photos. I would normally never ever do something like that.

Brittanybreakdown · 26/08/2019 01:18

I don’t have many wedding stories but I did once cause carnage at one. I was 19 and had come home from my first term of uni. The wedding was in a pub and the buffet was crap (none existent). So I decided to get ridiculously drunk. I think I had 2-3 bottles of white wine to myself.
I through up all over the top table and the little mr and Mrs sign placed in front of the couples seats. Luckily the bride and groom had left.
Woke up in my bed at home with my dress and heels still on and a heap of shame.

Brittanybreakdown · 26/08/2019 01:24

Threw up* just to be clear ;)

CatsOnCatnip · 26/08/2019 03:27

Best man made a joke about having a threesome with the bride and the grooms 15 year old daughter... brides father got up and tried to punch him.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 26/08/2019 03:50

Maid of honour walked up the aisle with a black eye and a face like thunder, which she maintained throughout the church service

It emerged afterwards she’d been given said black eye by the bride immediately prior to the service for messing about with the groom.

flyingspaghettimonster · 26/08/2019 03:50

We were a young, unmareiwd couple with an 18 month old daughter (our wedding was later that year)... went to a wedding on behalf of my in laws since they couldn't attend and the family were old friends. Well, the groom had discovered Christianity at uni and his wife was equally born again devout. So we attend this 2 hour wedding ceremony, with so many speakers and sermons. It was the most unconfortsble ceremony ever... every passage reading and sermon was about how anyone having sex before marriage was doomed to hell, their grapes would wither on the thine, their seed would be infertile etc etc. It was just so rude to about half the people there who were clearly in sexual relationships before marriage. We were tempted to leave when the speeches were condemning babies born from such unions... but we didn't want to make a scene. So odd because it was 2005 so not normal at all. The grooms family wasn't religious and it just seemed like the couple were trying to fire and brimstone us all.

They became missionaries later.

Nanamilly · 26/08/2019 04:18

They became missionaries later

Sounds like they were well suited to the position.

Bobismyfriend · 26/08/2019 04:22

These are really cheering me up on night where I cant sleep!

Moons ago I was at a wedding where just before the ceremony we found out that on the stag week the groom had slept with a prostitute. It really made the whole thing very seedy and felt hideously sorry for the bride who didn't have a clue.

It was also incredibly long and boring so to pass the time in the evening me and my DF at the time had a shag round the side of the very pretty barn it was held in. So not all bad.

donutrehomer · 26/08/2019 04:58

Had a few nightmare weddings in the Early 90s, one was a Wedding of a work colleague who was marrying her childhood sweetheart. Run up to wedding was very stressful, lots of drama between both families.

Wedding reception was in a marquee in brides parents mahoosive back garden in rural area. Nearest major was town 45 minutes away.

It was a buffet, the head table went up first, then a few tables of grooms family who completely overloaded their plates. Brides family were in the other side if the room, they didn't even get fed!!

After a few tables of grooms friends went up, other Guests started heckling the lads, shouts of "leave food for other people" because of how much food they were heaving on to their plates. It was shocking how much food they were taking.

Halfway around it was clear there was not going to be enough food, guests were looking at the catering staff as we all assumed more food would come out. But nothing appeared.

So out of twenty tables, there was only enough food for eight tables.

Head table, having finished their main course, were totally aghast.

We were one of the last three tables and none of us even bothered going up, there was just empty serving dishes.

So then, catering staff started bringing out the desserts. Exactly the same thing happened again. Entire tables left without food.

The first thing we got was a coffee and a Ferrero Rocher.

There were still Guests with children who hadn't eaten. They got up and left at this point.

It was shocking. But no food came out for the evening either. There was no evening buffet. Apart from wedding cake.

Oh, and there were no toilets and guests were not allowed in the house. Men were using a corner of a nearby field. Female guests found a cloakroom in the house.

Groom and his family went to village pub, bride and her family went into the house.

This left a handful of guests in a hot marquee, nobody knew what was going on so most guests left.

We stayed to see the Bride and Groom off, about half eleven, but but this point about only 20 guests were left.

We then went home, via motorway services to eat.

Bride and Groom split up less than three months later.

HangryPants · 26/08/2019 05:02

I wasn’t expecting this to have so many contributions from posters who were the cringe-ly behaved themselves.

JudgeLinda · 26/08/2019 05:03

I hope my friend isn't on here but we went to a wedding where the best man was droning on for about half an hour - everyone was hungry and the waiters were waiting at the entrance with our food. Suddenly my husband pipes up "You're wanted on the phone in reception" which made everyone laugh except me. He did however get the hint and brought his boring speech to a timely end.

HennyPennyHorror · 26/08/2019 05:11

OP your story reminds me of this

JudgeLinda · 26/08/2019 05:15

Don't laugh but I had this song at my wedding

JudgeLinda · 26/08/2019 05:21

If this song had been out at the time of my wedding this would have been my choice

Enidthecat · 26/08/2019 05:40

@WombatStewForTea were you at my wedding? My dad's speech revolved around how wonderful the people at his table were (his friends) and didn't mention me once. Still makes me feel very sad years later. It was bloody awful.

ISayWhatNow · 26/08/2019 05:49

My wedding.

My father took great delight in telling everyone how he hadn't started writing his speech until midnight the night before.

Way to make your daughter feel loved, NOT. Stupid really, but it still upsets me.

Limpshade · 26/08/2019 06:14

I attended a wedding (groom's side) at which the Mother of the Bride had made her daughter's day very difficult - fussed about the hairdresser, refused to wear the corsage as she felt it clashed with her outfit (despite having helped choose the flowers), loudly griped about the seating plan - as I understood was her general habit.

The cherry on top was when her husband made a wonderful speech about "the most beautiful woman in the room" which turned out to be about, you guessed it, the Mother of the Bride.

I could have cried for the bride, honestly. Such a lovely person and her parents couldn't give her one bloody day of her own.