DSS is 19 and at university. DH and I have 2 children together, 10 and 8. Over the years I am the one who researches and mainly pays for holidays which have mainly consisted of caravan holidays in the UK or cottage holidays in Europe. DSS stopped joining the UK holidays a few years ago (he’d go and stay with his mum while we were away. Normally, he lived with us full time until he started university) but still joined the European holidays.
All he wanted to do during these holidays though is sleep and play games on his phone in his bedroom, ignoring his siblings and DH and I. We’d wait for him to get up so we can have a day out. If we were all sitting outside or playing games or setting up a barbecue we’d have to call him to join us. It made me wonder why he wanted to come if all he wanted to do is shut himself in his bedroom just like he does at home. When we went to the beach, for example he come in his trainers and refuse to join in. I found it weird for a 15/16 year old to behave like this.
I am from a country which is a big tourist destination. My sibling is getting married. DSS wants to come along. I don’t really know want him to come. We went last year for another family (my side of the family) event and he didn’t join us. When we are there we spend most of the time catching up with family and kids playing with their cousins. We fit in a few days at get beginning and end of our time there doing our own thing but most of the time we are at my dad’s house with all my siblings and their children (9 children between 11 and 2). I just know DSS would get bored very quickly and expect us to go and do touristy things most of the time. He sees this as holiday and I see it as catching up with family. Our relationship is not that great but it’s not bad either. AIBU, aren’t I in not wanting him to join us? DH feels guilty but also says he doesn’t think he’d enjoy himself. DSS has no relationship at all with my side of the family and has met them only twice.