Big family - should I have more kids??

[Relizeliz]

Name changed for this.

I have four sons - aged 9 - 3. I really want another baby, we can afford one and I think we have the resource/time - but is it to many to have 5?

I just don't know if there are limitations - we live in a 5 bed house so long term potentially would have to add a room because I know no one would want to share/are use to there own rooms.

Additionally I just think will a 30 year old and 20 year old have a good relationship and does anyone have any experience of there older kids being resistant to a new baby? He was happy at DC4, but he's older now....

Any thoughts?

Why isn't 4 enough?

1. 5 x GCSE stress
2. 5 x A level/IB/BTEC stress
3. 5 x UCAS applications
4. 5 x funding DC through university
5. Teenagers are EXPENSIVE

knowing what i know about the state of the planet i don't think i would have dc

That has to be a joke? I wonder do you live zero waste, carbon neutral life, don't drive a car, don't get planes, ethical vegan diet and lobby against big companies ( who are one of the biggest factors to blame). Or do you blame people with kids regardless of the footprint that child/family will produce.

I didn't want to get into the environmental but its scaremongering - we have a climate crisis, I've been aware of it for at least 15 years but now its the fault of who? Families. Blame needs to be turned somewhere else.

No I think it's too many. My friend has 5 and now they are all teens, she finds it really hard juggling them all.

4 is enough

Thanks for the positive comments - as I said previously we are seriously considering International Adoption.

From a funding perspective we save for our current kids so they will all have (current money) £25k at age 18. I cant predict the cost of University in 9 or 19 years but I would hope this would see them through.

My partner is one of five. It's too many, don't do it.

Relizeliz but if everyone had 5 children it would have a massive impact on the planet. Having children isn't like shopping for clothes where you might like 5 T-shirts, one of each colour

Environmental reasons always dominate threads like these, it's a very good reason to not have another but it'll never "win" threads like these, if someone isn't overly thoughtful about the environment they just won't care. They should care about their children though, I really can't see how any pros and cons list for a 5th sibling would EVER lean on the positive side for the children already born, the negatives far outweigh the positives. and they should absolutely be thinking about the children and not their own desires at this point.

TapasForTwo Surely everyone has a right to make there own family planning choices?

That has to be a joke? I wonder do you live zero waste, carbon neutral life, don't drive a car, don't get planes, ethical vegan diet and lobby against big companies ( who are one of the biggest factors to blame). Or do you blame people with kids regardless of the footprint that child/family will produce.

Course it's not a joke!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/environment/children-carbon-footprint-climate-change-damage-having-kids-research-a7837961.html%3famp

Be more responsible for the environment, your current children, the NHS and all
other heavily subsidised resources.

I think it's up to the people concerned. International adoption sounds like a good idea if all your children are on board with it, you obviously have a lot of love to give.

Adoption would be good.

Sorry but I have to ask- do you want a girl?

Bet she does and whyever not:?.

Sez Just who's surrounded with daughters:)

All these people saying 5 are too many, what do you think is the acceptable number of children people should have

Two absolute maximum. Planet is in crisis, the idea of having more is utterly beyond me

None is best!!

I don't really understand why you're asking the question on here. We don't know you & the only people who can answer the question are you & your DP. You'll get people saying 1 is too many, 2 is perfect, have as many as you can etc. It will just be a bun fight. I also don't think it's an AIBU, you're asking for hysteria.

We're all different. I knew without any doubt, when pregnant with my 4th, that we were not going to have any more children. I arranged my sterilisation as part of that birth (planned c-section). When pregnant with my 3rd I wasn't sure that we were done.

My kids are very close and the age gaps aren't small. We can fund our children (including through university, nice holidays etc) and could fund another but 4 is right for us. I'm not sure I could stretch the emotional support and one to one time to any more children. Hence, my sterilisation. DH also had a vasectomy - so we are both clear on the issue.

And yes, teenagers are expensive. It's not the same as feeding under ten year olds!

Skittle it's a bit late for that when she has 4 already.

Plus you're wrong.

C'mon you're doing it for you and you alone. Think about your other children and of course if everyone had just ONE more it makes a massive difference to the already burgeoning population.

Have another one if you want. Ignore the virtue signallers (who probably have children, drive and go on holidays abroad)

Plus you're wrong. 

How do you come to this myopic conclusion?

OP maybe also post in the larger families section.

Because someone with 4 children and talking about a fifth is not going to think no kids is best viola

Can hope they do gain some responsibility.

Because someone with 4 children and talking about a fifth is not going to think no kids is best viola

Doesn't make pp wrong though does it?

I’m a third of three and I think three is too many! Especially in the teenage years. Didn’t stop me wanting a third (desperately), But it would have been for me and my hormones that I was doing it, not anyone else in my family.

Four is a nice number. Nobody left out.