Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

I am amazed at some replies here.

It was 7am! what kind of time do people get up? Not exactly early.

The baby was hardly crying at 4am for hours.

Most people are surely up and about or at least awake at 7am?
On holiday? We're a early riser family but the rule was always to keep noise down until at least 9am. A big treat for most people in holiday including kids is to be able to sleep later in the mornings.

Also, if OP opted to leave at 8am which was earlier than intended because of the crying, and the crying started at 7am, it is logical to infer that it wasn't 1/2 of crying bot more like one hour.

Personally my 7 month old has her own watch, and I simply don't allow her to so much as roll over before 7.45, 8.15 at weekends. It's simply a matter of discipline.

Where is this place so I can avoid it?

Dadcan - one very biddable, one not at all biddable. I simply refused to allow her to rule the roost. My house, my rules. We both do long gruelling hours and need rest. It was never an option to give up and say ‘oh well, we tried to make her considerate but she’s not very biddable’. It tools years of gentle enforcement. If you say the same thing, weekend in, weekend out, it becomes the rule, even with the most challenging child (mine was and is pretty challenging). You don’t just give up.

What did you do when they unbiddable child was up at 5/6/7am? Cause I've been saying the same thing to him since birth and he still doesn't give a shit and he's nearly 3

My 14 month old is teething atm. He didn't sleep well last night we tried teething gel and ibruprofen. I was up 5 times with him during the night. They would have hated us. He reacts badly to teething.
As for making him at quietly in his bedroom until we are ready to get up. He just wouldn't do it cause he doesn't understand cause he is 1. He is hungry when he wakes up so he shouts for us. He doesnt give a shit if I am tired and that is surely normal for a baby. The idea of leaving toddlers to possibly sit alone in their rooms for an hour cause mum and dad want to sleep sounds horrible.

After 7am it's reasonable to expect people to be awake. It's hardly early

My normal rising time is 6am. But on holidays, I like to lie in until 8am or so. It's a holiday cottage.

On holiday?? I get up at 10, so does DD.

We're not old people. Who are up at the crack of dawn.

Crying at 7am 'for half an hour' is horrid and unacceptable.

@swingofthings This is totally ridiculous.

Most people are awake by 7am. Noone can complain reasonably about 7am.

If someone without children wants a quiet holiday then the answer is you book a detached house on a site away from anyone else. If you book a holiday cottage that is attached to another, you take pot luck with your neighbours. That could be noisy teens, loud TVs, noisy sex, arguing couples....
Just like in a hotel or REAL LIFE.

Getting sufficiently dressed to take toddler out in the stroller could easily take 30 minutes if trying to distract toddler/ deal with other kids... so there is no better option.

The people that think its unacceptable what should op do? How do you just stop a baby crying? My baby screamed for an hour last night. I tried medicine, I walked him around, I breastfed him, i had another child in bed i couldn't just leave the house and take him for a walk so please you wonderful parents tell me how to get him to stop.

@BIllieEllish Oh you poor dear. Getting up at 10am? Wasting almost half a day in bed.

@MouthyHarpy (Great name by the way)

So clearly you will never stay in a hotel, or a cottage, or any sort of accommodation within half a mile of anyone else?

Because that is the only way you won't ever hear anyone else.

10am is wasting half a day? No it's not.

I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help

Sorry what? Help doing what?
They are there to have a holiday not look after someone else’s child.

YANBU. Half an hour, bloody hell! Children cry. If you don't want to be near loud children, book an adults only holiday venue. I actually don't think you should have apologised beyond the initial one in person, and not on the review.

And I'm all for making sure my children (well my 3 year old, can't really reason with a 6 month old!) are well behaved/quiet in public; to the point where I do worry if I'm too strict, especially at friends' houses when their children are running wild and my child is saying "please mummy can I play with this". (Not a stealth boast by the way, the same 3 year old is massively overtired today and my poor neighbours have been subjected to a long old tantrum. But we're at home, if we were out I would remove him from the situation).

Yanbu. If your child was screaming and banging a saucepan on the walls whilst you slept a hangover off you would be. I think most people can tell the difference from a distressed baby and a thoughtless entitled shit who couldn't care less about other people. I would have been glad for an honest review if I was booking. The responses you got would have put me off too. I hope your baby is feeling better now.

Crying at 7am 'for half an hour' is horrid and unacceptable.

Yes, especially for the parents who are next to the toddler and have it loudest

It’s fine for people to be irritated by the noise of crying babies on holiday. Fine for them to express that irritation to the property owner if they think better soundproofing could be done. But it isn’t fine to say anything at all to the baby’s family! No one has a right to holiday without irritation; that’s insane.

. Being considerate would have been to do something to stop the disturbance after 10 minutes

Yes OP should have just stopped your child from crying in discomfort. Why didn’t you just put a pillow over his face?

For goodness sake the child was hurting and OP did what she could. You can’t just immediately leave when your baby/toddler becomes distressed. You have to get yourself washed, teeth brushed, dressed, child washed and dressed, bag sorted (nappies, food etc.). It was half an hour on and off in accommodation described as family friendly. If I’d heard it I would have been thanking my lucky stars that I wasn’t OP and hoping for her sake that the baby felt better soon.

They shouldn't stipulate that children are welcome if they are not willing to accept some news. YANBU.

Right.

So according to some posters, I'm either not supposed to book a holiday with an under 2.5 year old incase they get a tooth while we're away, or book a child friendly place and then cancel it if my toddler is teething incase they cry. And if they dint appear to be teething when we take the holiday but then start when we're away, instead of calpol and cuddles I should whisk them outside at any hour incase the neighbours are offended by a bit of crying

Do you know how batshit that is? Its school holidays and she booked a child friendly place. Unless it's a baby with colic or a baby with issues that means it is constantly crying, if babies and children are welcome then a bit of crying is to be expected as is the odd tantrum etc.

If you hate kids that much that their every day noise offends you and you really believe that a parent shouldn't take their child on holiday if they cant guarantee they will not cry or the parent wont be able to instantly stop it, then maybe you should book a detached or adult only place

Yanbu. Kids cry. They all have phases where they cry more and these can come and go quite quickly and can't be predicted. If you're that bothered about it then you need to book somewhere private and not aimed at families.

My 1 year old gets up at 6 and gives not a single fuck about this not being acceptable on holidays. He's having a whiny little toerag phase and often has hysterical screaming fits over my unreasonable behaviour, such as walking 1ft away from him or not letting him gouge his own eyes out with a screwdriver my DH left lying around. No one likes the sound of their child crying and I have no doubt that the vast, vast majority of parents will do whatever they can to stop it as soon as possible. It's not always easy, you can't reason with them.

Dadcan - simply took her back. Told her the rules. Gently. Sometimes she came out 19 times. Each time the response was the same. No engagement, no conversation - it’s still night time. Your sun isn’t up. You need to stay in bed til the sun comes up. When the sun comes up we’ll have a big cuddle.

Even the most unbiddable child will grow tired of no engagement after a while and play with their toys. It does take patience, and for both parents to be on the same page.

I really don't understand why the OP is getting such a kicking. Toddler wakes at 7am,cries for about half an hour and OP decides to get out earlier than planned. Calpol kicks in so toddler settles but by that point you might as well keep getting ready to leave and out the door around 8am.

7am is early for some people (not everyone rises with the dawn, equally its not wasting the day to lie in til 10am if you're still up and about later in the evening) but OP went out and toddlers crying in pain sounds different to just general screaming and noise.

Owner should take a lesson in hospitality people skills. They could have asked if everything was OK with the toddler to check if it was a one-off incident or if you had just shrugged like well kids cry what ya gonna do they could then have requested to try and keep it under control.

Personally I find other adults on holiday more annoying. They are the ones who get drunk and loud, have loud sex, play music etc til early hours of the morning. But I accept that they are also on holiday, if I want silence then I'd book a secluded cottage or beach hut!