Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

Some parents do let their kids cry when they first get up whilst they try to emerge from sleep themselves.

It makes no sense that the owner who must be dealing with kids every day, many who will cry at time would have bothered to complain to OP unless the situation was much more disturbing than OP makes it up to be.

If you don’t want to hear children when you go on holiday book an adults only one. Keep a baby quiet...my eyes are rolling

It's quite funny the way some people are getting all suspicious Nancy Drew on the OPs account, whilst meanwhile being credulously happy to accept the very conveniently timed review purporting to be from another guest.

Some parents do let their kids cry when they first get up whilst they try to emerge from sleep themselves.

But OP clearly states that it was a one off due to teething, so this is not the case.

@SmartPlay didn't read my post did you because the point was they were friendly and understanding despite not having kids menus ect? I wasn't complaining anyway, I was giving some comfort to the op!

@MissPepper8 didn't read my post, did you? Because I wrote in subjunctive.
You compared two completely different situations and that was what I pointed out.

SmartPlay haha good come back there.. So if you read, where in my post did i say they were the same situation?? Hint, I didn't I was just giving comfort cause I was put in a situation by my mil and I felt shitty.

I think YABU to expect them to ask if you needed help.

@MissPepper8 Seemed to me like you compared the situations. If you weren't, that's fine. :)

They should say ‘children over 8 only ‘ etc- or no babies - it sounds like you did your best to stop the crying .
We have all been babies once - what a load of whinging from people. If the crying had gone on for hours and hours , it would have been a different matter, and the child may have needed medical help 😄

@SmartPlay no not at all, totally different situation agreed, I guess I was just trying to make op feel better that toddlers can be pains and there's nothing you can do sometimes.

I have a son aged 11 with ASD and he can be so loud, some of the answers on here are shocking with lack of Empathy what's wrong with people 🤔😳

@spanglydangly yes I did read it and where do I state solidly?
30 minutes is a long time to cry intermittently, solidly however the child cried. I have 4 girls and I can honestly say none have cried in any form for 30 minutes in any one day, other than accumulative over a day when a newborn with Colic. 30 minutes is a long time without being pacified in my view.

I think the owner was unreasonable if you are a child friendly accomodation then surely you know children can cry and that as a patent you can't necessarily anticipate when the crying will happen. Also presumably other guests at a child friendly holiday accommodation will be aware of the child friendly status and I'm expecting many will also have kids so understand so I think owner was unreasonable and your review was right. To put in perspective we used to live in a ground floor flat when I was pregnant, the people in the flat directly above us had a toddler that was an early riser (3.30/4am common) they had their lounge directly over our bedroom the little boy would run up and down in their lounge making a lot of noise at these early hours but what use would it of been to me to complain about him he was a 18 month old baby I'm sure his mum didn't want him up at 4 am and didn't want to make lots of noise it's not always parents choice and I think I'd rather of heard his happy play than if she'd left him in bed screaming

There’s nothing worse than someone else’s children, especially crying babies. I would have complained if I’d been next door to a screaming baby. I’m sick of hearing “well it’s just kids etc”. I’ve had so many lunches, meals, days out ruined or been irritated by other people’s children. The latest one was a table of young mums in a cafe having afternoon tea with all their toddlers and young kids sat on the next table. The mums ignored the mayhem whilst the kids made a racket. We ended up leaving our lunch early.

The competitive parenting on this thread is absolutely ridiculous.
"Ooh ours never ever cried for more than 30 minutes across their lifetime, you must be a shit parent"
"Ooh well ours came out the womb with a solid understanding of time and social etiquette in holiday destinations so we are obviously better than you as parents"

How is any of this utter shite helping op? It's not, you're either trying to make OP / any other parents feel awful or only posting because you're so desperate to tell the world how perfect you are and this is your only means because you've alienated all the people in your life by being such smug cunts, you've no one left to tell!

'sorry, didn't realise you wanted me to shake them until they stopped crying'

*There are some idiotic posters here.

Look, even if you stay in a £500 a night swanky hotel, you can be woken by late night guests coming in and banging their door.

Or having sex.

Or watching TV late into the night.

Or arguing. Or even laughing.

Hotels often do not have soundproofed walls.

Likewise, if you choose to stay in a cottage that is not remote, you may be disturbed by all of the above or EVEN a child crying at 7am on a beautiful warm summer's morning (when most people are awake and making the most of the beautiful weather.)

Having a hissy fit over 'your right to silence' until some hour of the day when you deem to emerge from bed is just complete and utter bollocks.

If that is your requirement, BOOK A COTTAGE AWAY FROM CIVILISATION. And stop talking crap.*

This with bells on. I have Aspergers & misophonia. I love complete quiet but I also have learned to tolerate everyday normal noise.

DH and I recently stayed at a £250 per night spa resort. Our room was amazing but paperthin. We heard guests upstairs have a shower before dinner, and heard them throughout the night everytime they went for a pee followed by the toilet flushing. We heard them have a bath before bed. Next door was a young couple who engaged in quite a lot of not-so-quiet shagging, and the other side neighbours had children, who we could hear chattering and playing. Did we complain? Did we hell, we still had a lovely few nights for our anniversary and the neighbours probably heard us going about our business.

OP Yanbu at all. I would've left the same review as you have if they were advertised as child friendly. For those perfect parents though, how do you stop a child crying instantly? My son was, and still is, the most quiet, happiest little boy ever, but teething was like a devil had been unleashed inside. Nothing, even calpol, nurofen, gels and teething powders would settle him. As soon as the tooth broke the gum, he was immediately fine!

@Jellytots321 - some of the comments on here are bizarre. I suspect they are left by parents whose children are grown up or who suffer from a serious lack of empathy. You have every right to go on holiday with your child - teething or not. If you expect no child-related noise, don’t book places that say ‘children welcome’.

Honestly - to suggest you shouldn't take a teething child on holiday is preposterous. People who make comments like that should be ashamed.

There’s nothing worse than someone else’s children, especially crying babies. I would have complained if I’d been next door to a screaming baby. I’m sick of hearing “well it’s just kids etc”. I’ve had so many lunches, meals, days out ruined or been irritated by other people’s children. The latest one was a table of young mums in a cafe having afternoon tea with all their toddlers and young kids sat on the next table. The mums ignored the mayhem whilst the kids made a racket. We ended up leaving our lunch early.

I'd suggest you stay indoors, you sound insufferable!

@spanglydangly yes I did read it and where do I state solidly?
30 minutes is a long time to cry intermittently, solidly however the child cried. I have 4 girls and I can honestly say none have cried in any form for 30 minutes in any one day, other than accumulative over a day when a newborn with Colic. 30 minutes is a long time without being pacified in my view.

I find this hard to believe, sick and teething children not crying and unable to be pacified. Even if it is true it's of no relevance anyway as the OPs child as she stated but you seem unable to read did cry for that amount of time despite attempts to placate.

There’s nothing worse than someone else’s children, especially crying babies. I would have complained if I’d been next door to a screaming baby. I’m sick of hearing “well it’s just kids etc”. I’ve had so many lunches, meals, days out ruined or been irritated by other people’s children. The latest one was a table of young mums in a cafe having afternoon tea with all their toddlers and young kids sat on the next table. The mums ignored the mayhem whilst the kids made a racket. We ended up leaving our lunch early.

Nope, there's nothing worse than miserable insufferable people who are intolerant of others. It is your negative attitude to life that is your problem.

What's interesting is if the OP had posted that her neighbours had played loud music and were up drinking until 12am she'd have been told they were on holiday and not to be so miserable. On the other hand the second a child inconveniences anyone there is outrage.

@aspoonfulofyourownmedicine

To be frank though, loud tantrums/crying/screaming/shouting etc from young children is very hard to tune out. Eg I could have AirPods/beats headphones on with the volume on the absolute max and STILL hear the child cutting through over my music. It’s the pitch of their voice, the loudness etc - especially for people who aren’t around young children often and aren’t used to it. I can see why it would be annoying at 7am on a relaxing holiday. (annoying but unavoidable)

It’s much easier to tune out sex, tv, and laughter.

I can tolerate baby crying much, much more than I can tolerate other peoples taste in music played in excess of 95cb at anytime of the day.

Why anyone would be irritated by 30 minutes of intermittent baby crying is beyond me. The OP took baby out for the day fgs, give her a break. This is supposed to be Mumsnet, for Mum's I thought.

By the way OP, you were quite right to leave the review to warn other prople with young children. I was sorry to hear you deleted your review.

My rational and empathetic brain says - children cry. That is how it is. They can't help with it. I should deal with it.

I was on the bus home today and there was one little boy screaming and shouting and running up and down and yelling at the top of his voice.

My human reaction is to be irritated. Children do cause all of the noise disturbance on public transport and in public places.

What can be done about it - nothing. I definitely wouldn't even dream of imagining a society where children were segregated away. But Am I going to be honest and say it annoys me? Yes

angel that's how a reasonable person thinks though isn't it? The unreasonable one thinks on the other hand 'I'm irritated by this so children shouldn't be allowed on busses/ in restaurants/ in holiday cottages, I am a more important adult'

Ultimately we all get irritated by what other people do but we realise they have as much right to be here as us....