Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

If some of you hate the sound of a crying toddler so much, which is not something that can always be helped and the OP already said the tooth started to come through on the first day so they didn't know if was going to happen, then here's an idea, book somewhere that doesn't specify it's child friendly....

I think you were right to leave the review.

If the owners want complete silence, they need to make that clear in the property description.

If other customers want to be in complete silence, they’d be better booking somewhere that doesn’t advertise itself as “family friendly”.

if you as a grown-up can't stand crying babies and toddlers, then don't book a holiday in a place that's marked as child friendly

Exactly!

I think it's equally (or more) reasonable to state that if you are an adult and have a condition that causes such upset with normal noise, you should be the one to ensure that you book somewhere detached/not child friendly/outside of school holidays, not the other way around 🤷🏽‍♀️

It's often said on here that people could have offered to help instead but never is it said as to how they could help or what help would be wanted and welcomed. Perhaps, CarolineKate , you could tell me what help you think the owner could/should have offered, what help you wanted/expected and would have welcomed. I imagine the owner is as much in the dark as I am as to the help they were required to offer.

YANBU - the site said family friendly and babies sometimes cry. On/off for 30 mins isn't exactly horrendous. You didn't leave him screaming for hours and hours and took him out early.

We often go to some cottages in the lakes which are attached. We used to do before we had our son and would sometimes here children playing or a baby crying but it never bothered us - that's what kids do.

Now we take DS and we do make sure he's not screaming/shouting etc. but occasionally, folk probably here him chatting on our way out or playing but you cannot expect silence.

My kids cut teeth but a bit of calpol, a nice cold chew toy, a cuddle and some distraction meant they didn’t cry for long periods

That's nice. Unfortunately not all children are the same.

They are not family friendly if they 1) don't expect children to cry
There is some crying and crying non stop at 7am in the morning. I except those who said they think this is acceptable are the same parents than those who would go ballistic if kids next door were screaming outside banging a football again their wall when trying to put their little one to sleep at the same time.

Or teenagers coming home from a party at midnight waking up their darlings who then couldn't get back to sleeptbsgs all family friendly to by your definition.

"What planet are you on? Calpol is to help with pain. If that kid was crying and nothing comforted him, he must have been in some pain. Are you saying that it is bad parenting to take a tion to try to reduce their kids pain? Do you never take pain killers yourself even if you are in distressing pain?"

The kid was crying ond and off for the rather short time of 30 minutes. The question wasn't directed at me, but yes, I do think it's bad parenting to medicate a small child at the first sign of pain, without waiting a little to see if it goes away. Medicine is not candy!

@zzzzzzzz12345 I work with children, know many people with children, and not a SINGLE one has ever had small kids sleep in til 9, most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Parents WISH that could be the case!

Half an hour isn't a long period of time, was she supposed to whisk the baby out the door the minute it made a peep?

Also 9am, ha! You should write a book on your baby rearing skills, I'm sure it would be a best seller.

You were perfectly entitled to write your review, you were reviewing your experience and someone else with a young child may well benefit from the knowledge that whilst the property advertises children are welcome what they may well mean is they are tolerated as long as they are on their best behaviour or they mean children are welcome during the 2 weeks in their childhood when they are angels and not the other how ever many years when they are really quite unpredictable.

As most people book holidays several months in advance you had no way of knowing your DS would be teething so not taking him on holiday whilst teething is an utterly ridiculous suggestion - that rules out anything between 0 and 2.5

The owners were also within their rights to reply to your review, IMO they didn’t go about it in the right way but ultimately it will affect their business, not yours and you are never going to visit again. These kind of negatives are just learning points - next time you go to book somewhere you will know to try and find reviews from people with young children if possible rather than just having children which covers 0-18.

I love how people make up a story so they can put there judgy pants on.

OP my kids were fine after calpol so what the hell were you doing..... yeah because all kids are the same.

Sweet lord

Clearly you did everything you could. If I went to a child friendly place and it was a 1 year old crying and you left an hour later I wouldn't be annoyed. You clearly did what you could.

The owner probably did what he thought was best as people could have been complaining. He just didn't go about it very well. I'd have left the review too and if I had a baby and read the review I'd be glad you left it.

Ignore the batshit replies people make a story fit so they can write a batshit reply.

If that kid was crying and nothing comforted him, he must have been in some pain

Not necessarily. My eldest daughter used to cry and cry, we tried feeding, rocking, swaddling, taking her out in the car, even the (apparently magic) Calpol.

Even the doctor said there was nothing wrong with her, she just cried a lot...

(we didn't go on holiday at all for her first three years).

Those saying the suggestion that an offer of help is ridiculous....

Quite possibly holiday guests with a small child who is distressed might need a doctor, for example. And even if it’s unlikely that help was needed, it’s a polite acknowledgement of the situation, rather than a criticism or a demand for something potentially impossible.

Adults with Aspergers & misophonia have a really hard time coping with this sort of noise & they are not going to enjoy their holiday if this is part of it. Ultimately it is about consideration for all.
Perhaps those adults should then book somewhere that isn’t listed as being child friendly, and attached to other properties,if noise is an issue for them.

Of course kids cry, especially when they're teething, that's part of having children, but perhaps, knowing your child was teething and out of consideration for others, a detached property might have been more appropriate for your family?
Is she psychic? She booked child friendly accommodation. Children cry. End of bloody story.

OP, I would be furious if I were you and would not have been apologising in my review. They shouldn’t advertise being child friendly when they are not.

Personally in your situation, I would have taken the baby out at 7am in his stroller, anything for distraction after giving him calpol. Why was this not an option?

Don't be ridiculous! Babies cry ffs, If you had to leave the house every time some people would never be inside!

Half an hour of crying is hardly a life sentence. Op already left earlier than planned to avoid disturbing neighbours she didn't have to. That was very considerate of her. Real noise would have been the people on our campsite whose primary school kids were screaming at the top of thier lungs and having a disco in the caravan at 12mn complete with.flashjng lights!

It's the holidays if you dont want to hear kids then go to a desert island.

And I suspect when the holiday was booked op didn't have a psychic vision that their child would start teething the day they arrived and feel.obliged to remove her child from society in case he cried! Good God just when you think.You.have heard it all on.here.

Minister - you’re right but the difficulty is that a minority of parents are wrongly judged for being like the permissive majority. If other parents with kids were welcomed, there was something different about the OP and it’s unlikely to be just the teething. All these threads about annoying parents on planes/in holiday cottages/hotels who let their kids run riot and make no attempt to keep them quiet. It’s bloody annoying, especially when you work so hard to bring up considerate children yourself.

I doubt this is just about 30 mins of crying. I suspect there is a bigger story here about the OPs parenting approach and general behaviour in the cottage area. Did you use quiet voices going from cottage to car? Did you take all steps to placate your child and take the noise away from the cottage?

If you were tarred with the wrong brush then that’s sad but these days the poor cottage owners see continual horrific parenting. We know people with this set up who let cottages out and someone who owns a souvenir shop in a seaside town. The most common parenting approach they see is a selfish, permissive, ‘isn’t my child wonderful even though they are actually a loud, uncontrolled, irritating little shit’ type. It’s wearing when dealing with that constantly is your bread and butter.

If you tried to comfort your child and stop the crying, then you didn't do anything wrong OP. A bit of noise for 1 hour that you couldn't help is fine.

The owner is rude and not cut out for customer service. Go somewhere more child friendly where the owner actually has basic customer service and people skills next time.

I don't understand the negative feedback.
There's not a lot you can do and surely most of these people have been parents so would understand. I think the owners were rude

The kid was crying ond and off for the rather short time of 30 minutes. The question wasn't directed at me, but yes, I do think it's bad parenting to medicate a small child at the first sign of pain, without waiting a little to see if it goes away. Medicine is not candy!
The child cried for 30 minutes and couldn't be distracted and you call this waiting a little? I feel sorry for your kids. I certainly never considered medicine like sweets totally on the opposite, I'm a strong advocate for stopping the prescription of antibiotics for sore throats and the rest, but if my kids are in pain, e ough for them to cry the place down and I know it is because of teething that is unlikely to just disappeared in 2 minutes and know how horribly painful it is, yes I do want to take that pain away as a priority.

When you are in these kind of communal situations you need to make an extra effort
And that's what it comes down to but people can't bothered to make an extra effort, especially on holiday. Unless OP we t on her own with other young children, I still can't see why she couldn't take the child out, unless she couldn't be bothered to get up then.

I can see why they wouldn't be very happy, but at the same time it can't be helped. I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed and leave that review, if it says children are welcome they can't expect peace and quiet all hours of the day.

Last time we went camping, a baby/toddler in a near-by tent cried off and on throughout the night. It's a family-friendly campsite and I'm sure the parents were doing what they could. I would never complain about something like that. It's different if it's deliberate noise, like a TV on too loud or someone kicking a ball against a wall or something.

They should have understood, you can't stop a child from teething it's natural.

Teeth have a mind of their own. You were not to know your child was going to be teething. All babies, toddlers cry, when at a family friendly place, most people will expect noise from children, most will understand. If people want a child free noise holiday there are plenty out there. Your child wasn't crying long, I'm sure you gave pain relief, not all kids can take calpol, we use nurofen as calpol makes them vomit. This takes time to work, usually half an hour. You didn't sit in all day with crying baby, you went out early which is very considerate. You did right leaving the review.